Friday, April 29, 2011

Full Tilt Cashouts

Here is the thread on 2+2. The quick version is nothing yet and we will hear something early next week.

Thursday, April 28, 2011


Normally my job is nice and peaceful. I am a bit of a premadonna and can be tough to deal with but I do my job. I do it right. I spent the past five fucking years doing my job at the current place which is totally unlike me. I built a fucking trading system that is stable, fast, and reliable. Now I have to spend my days fucking fixing some cocksuckers idiotic code. I mean are you fucking stupid? You know what I spent today doing? Check this out and see if YOU could do it right.

for(int i=0; i<= Cat.count; i++)


This is a loop in C#. It says start at zero with the counter i, go until you get to the end of the "cat" object, add one to the counter on every pass. Now here is a multiple choice question.

What goes in the middle?

A. catstuff = Cat[i];
B. catstuff = Kitty[i];

Which one would you pick? Awesome. You know which one my fucktard co-worker picked? Over and over and over and over again? Yup. I mean do you have ANY common sense? I can not really accept that you skip comments, you ignore direction on case, you refuse to check dictionaries to see if they have the key in them... I mean any idiot could do those things.. but this is beyond retarded! I am sick of spending all my fucking time fixing your bullshit code. I mean cmon man.

My boss had been saying "Oh yeah that guy is fast".. I tried to explain he is NOT a programmer and we should do code reviews.. I tried to say "FAST and BAD" does not really equal fast. When I have to spend my entire week fixing his garbage code. When every build that goes to QA fails in the exact same spot: HIS CODE. When production runs break for the first time in five years. When I can not finish my projects. Fast is not fast. I am either going to get an ulcer or fuck someone up. Peace.

Young Buck

You think your so cool. Running your 1.5 minute quarter miles. Racing past me. Fuck you cocksucker. I knew you were a fucking pussy. I was running before you got there and I finished running well after you were done. Sure you ran your mile with some speed but your just a little bitch who runs for a few seconds then calls his mommy because he can not go anymore. boo hoo.

I knew you were going to fucking give up. Stupid punk kid. You may get to feel up some nice, new 16yr old boobs, but your just a bitch to me. So suck it you little cuntbag. I may feel like crip wolf after my run, I may breath as hard as that pervert Lightning, and I may end up having a fucking stroke or something but I fucking did it. I ran the distance. I beat your punk ass. So go fuck yourself. Peace.


Things have been going average lately. I admit to watching and even liking Hockey these past few weeks. My son goes crazy over all the playoff games. He can root for the Bruins, Celtics, Red Sox, Phillies, Seventy Sixers, and Flyers. Not a bad set. We use the "If your born there or your parents are born there then they can be your team". I never really liked Hockey at all and I can not say it is my favorite game. However as my son has dragged me into watching all the playoff games I have gained some appreciation for the sport. High Def TV helps a lot too.

Watching the games it seems like the Flyers and Bruins are totally different style teams. It seemed like the Flyers were more finesse with passing and the like. The Bruins seem to shove it into the back of the other players zone and then beat the fuck out of them and try and score in between. Interesting to watch both teams. We are solidly rooting for the Bruins since the Flyers have had more success in recent years than the Bruins.

The Celtics games have been good too. I hear the announcers talking about how good the Heat are and how they won that one game against us like 100-77. Do these people even watch the sport? The Celtics slumped HAAARD at the end of the year but it seems like they are getting back their form. I liked what I saw in the last few games of the series with New York. I think the Celtics will beat the Heat fairly easily. I think the games might be close but the Celtics will play up to the competition like they always do.

On the exercise front I am still at it. I was a little lazy this week. I took it easy on pushups on Friday then skipped Sunday. I also skipped Mondays run. I moved it down to Tuesday. Last night I got back into the pushups with Week 4 Day 1 again. That is 12/14/11/10/16 for a total of 63 pushups. It was a little hard but not too bad. I really hate that program. I had a great run on Tuesday. I am in week 7 of that plan and running 25-minutes a session. I end up covering a bit over 2 miles. I should probably be a little closer to 3 miles but not sweating it.

I finally have stopped gaining weight. That was entirely too annoying. I am back down to 184. The pants are feeling very loose. When do you retire your pants? When you can fit two hands down them? Fuck I call that a Saturday night.

On the WoW front I have not been able to play much. See above. Between getting hijacked for all the playoff games and being exhausted from working out it has been rough. The new patch just went in and I have no idea what it contains. I have seen a few things and earned a guild achievement (for Glyph Making) but have not dived in yet.

Still no Poker. Heffmike is trying out a play money game on Stars. I fully support the idea. I mean it IS the community that makes these games meaningful. We could also make these into cash games. Everyone send someone 11 bucks on PayPal before the game. Only those people would be allowed to play. Make up the payoff schedule. Let the cashier know where you would like to be paid... It could work out... Kind of like speakeasy's during prohibition times. I would think most people have a PayPal account. The extra dollar "rake" might be less.. but there would be some transfer fees to take care of.. hmm... Peace.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Good News From PokerStars

Here is the information for PokerStars cashouts. Hopefully Full Tilt will get the ball rolling too. If anyone actually is able to cashout let me know. I am sure it will all work fine but external confirmation is always good.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Fuck No

I get up it is fucking 30 degrees out goddamn raining like a motherfucker, wind whiping, and what do I do? Sit on the couch like the wife? Fuck no. I goddamn run two freaking miles in the soaking rain and possible sleet and do I get a goddamn award for dedication and commitment? Fuck no. Just do It.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Good News

Looks like PokerStars has begun the process of getting money back to players. Have not received an email from Full Tilt yet but I am sure it will be coming soon.. and hell, I have money to withdraw!

I am now doing the workout grind. It does seem like a grind sometimes. I work out 6 days a week. Albeit small workouts. I run 25 minutes 3 days, and do 80+ pushups 3 days. I get one day off. Whee! That day is actually Friday!

I met up with Buddies Hunter in Warcraft last night. It was pretty funny. I am not sure he knows how to resurrect his pet.. :P. I sent him some bags and money then he told me that his account can not receive things yet. Hopefully he will get it all worked out.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


I have not yet had time to try out the VPN solution. I am in the process of setting up my Libyan IP address so I can play from a free country. My son waylaid me into watching hours of Bruins, Flyers, and 76'ers sports shows. He really gets into the playoffs.

I conked out around 10, after finishing this weeks run of 10 min 3 min walk 10 min. I finally finished 80 pushups or week 4 of my program. I made the mistake of looking ahead.. and there are portions where you do 9 sets and the last set is like 40 or 50 pushups. Ug. I really hate this program.

I have also GAINED 4 pounds running. FML.

Monday, April 18, 2011


I have not had time to try a foreign VPN yet but I hear it works out fine. Not that you would be able to withdraw but at least you could fix your jones. I will report back with whatever success I have.

I personally blame all the winning poker players for this predicament. I mean if you were break even like me then none of this would ever have happened. Fulltilt and Stars would never have sent a check to you and thus the DOJ would not have a case. Please join my break even poker movement. We must save the future of poker.

I am sort of surprised that people are "shocked" that the poker sites were using some sort of end around to get funds to people. I mean please. How did you think it worked? Once the banks stopped taking charges from known online sites obviously they would have to hide the origination of the funds. Der.

Change100 had a good post on the poker situation. I hope she gets through this alright. I feel really bad for all of the friends I have who make a living through these sites and US poker in general. I really enjoyed Erica Schoenberg's quote:

I should be able to smoke a blunt, abort a baby, marry a girl and play online poker if I want to. Quit telling me what to do with my $ or body. FU.

Most of the critical, in depth, legal opinions are that these sites are in big fucking trouble. I only linked CK because she has a nice ass.

One contrary opinion I have seen come from JHUB. It makes some sense but I am no legal eagle so go judge for yourself.

I think the people who say the fix is in and the Government will just win because some rich people want it to happen are probably the closest to correct. You little kiddies can keep believing in politics, truth, justice, and the American way though. I will not try to dissuade you.

I do find it funny that just when I start grinding again this happens. I had a good run of some serious grinding going for the past month and a half. No big tilt explosions. Ahh well. Peace out from the Wafflemeister.

Saturday, April 16, 2011


Oh and changing your country / state does not have any effect. I assume they just put a full account lock on.


You can see your balances and are assured they are "safe". However you can not transfer anything off of Fulltilt, or to another player on Fulltilt. You also can not play any cash games.

UK Site is up and working. Trying to reinstall FullTilt to see if I can see my play money balances. :P.

Friday, April 15, 2011


Not able to get to Fulltilt at all now. I know it pings the domain. I think it uses that for the download location too.. So out of luck for even logging in and being told I can not play anymore. Blah.

Um Wow

I was just getting over the tilt monkey and becoming a grinder then the DOJ messes with shit? I have no idea what the ramifications of this are... not sure if you will be able to login tonight.. probably be hard to get any money out though.. Here is another article. I can actually get to UB, Absolute, and Pokerstars websites seem to still be down. I have independent confirmation from Canada that Absolute website is not accessible.. Will keep you posted as details come in. Not that I am a news source or anything.


Was talking with Paul last night after my run. I was too tired to play any poker. Still I made fifty bucks! Woot! Bayne is doomed. 10K is right around the corner! BOOYAH!

The 20 minute run for Couch to 5K Week 5 Day 3 went well. The run itself was not very hard. It was much easier than the first one I did last year. When I stopped running my shins were sore as fuck and I had to limp around the track for my final lap.. I ended up doing just shy of 2 miles in the 20 minutes which is pretty good. Thank God it's Friday! Peace!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Seriously I Luv You All

I think I have been teasing too much. I mean I keep telling lightning he is

ya know.. I mean I have some reasons.. the first time we ever met was kinda like this..


and then I like kinda told Jordon to give it up. LOL. Seriously Lightning is not creepy and Jordon is just going through a down slide in variance which gives me perfect timing to totally fuck with his mind...

I really love you all.. I may call you Joe C Luckbox, or say you suck, or tell you that your a creepy perv, but deep down, inside my black heart, I love you all!!! Peace.

** Picture from the Oatmeal. The Oatmeal rocks does it not?

*** This post does not apply to Hoyazo.

Never One To Start Trouble

HighOnPoker said...
VJ, I've decided that I want a rematch sooner rather than later. Hopefully you can accommodate. I'll find you on IM.

Ya know brotha I seldom give advice... but when you lose to VeryJosie and Waffles all in a short span of time.. maybe you should quit while you behind? Just sayin'. :P.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

This is why..

This is why I lose at poker. His lack of understanding about what the "true" skill set in poker is rings true with all poker losers. He says poker is not skill when variance happens and he loses a hand. It does sort of comfort me to see that I am not the only idiot who thinks his every hand should win though. Who is so narrow minded that they focus on individual games and hands instead of what poker really is: the long term. That is where the skill is. I am trying to change. Really I am.

I guess this is his blog so he can spew whatever shit he wants to. However I would think Cardplayer might have higher standards. Fuck they should just hire me and I can call everyone fucktards. I think I rant a little better that that douche bag. Albeit with a little less.. hmm.. no, I have called someone a cum guzzler.. hmm..
alright, fuck it, I unequivocally rant better than him. Hell read some of my past rants and let me know if your hiring! I could really use the money. Deposit it straight to Full Tilt please.

Cashed Again

Played SmBoats 10-game again. Was frustrating at the beginning. I had Mutchim and Wolfshead beaten and both of them called a decent amount on the turn and BOTH of them outdrew me on the river. Wolf with a shitty 6 hi flush draw and OESD. Mutchim with a gutterballer. After calling them both @#*^&$*(&@*($# morons and resigning myself to going out first I settled down and just called Wolf Joe C all night. He was hitting like a motherfucker. I mean he would jam in Kings and hit against Aces.. He would draw 5 in 27 and make a 23457 against another persons 1 card draw of 76432. It was sick. Now I am not saying he played badly all the time. The call with the Kings was totally standard. It was certainly frustrating though.

Finally my savior Joe C came through and put the curse on everyone. She first told Boats brother how much she loved him and he was going to win blah blah I never listen when women talk. ;). Anyway he went down in flame from first to worst. She then told the traitor Mutchim how he came through for her and he is the best and he is going to win blah blah blah (see above).. and he gets the ugliest cooler in the history of the world. This allows me to squeak into the paying position and go heads up with Wolf.

Wolf was card racking like it was his job. It was sick. I even sucked out hard on him with A7 vs A9 AIPF. He called my jam. Heads up this is pretty standard. Although if I was to play him again I think I would use a different strategy. Everytime I had a good hand he had a better one. It was sick. Finally I shove 55 hoping for a race and he shows up with Jacks. It was pretty sick but I was happy to have finished in the money. I should have known I was doomed when Joe C said "You're not going to let Wolf win are you Waffles?".

As a side note.. if you all change your links to Joe C I bet we could get a much higher Google rating for it. We had her at the first page of search results for "oompa loompa goombah" for a while... Just saying.

Oh yeah and if this girl in school keeps bothering my daughter my TODO list might start looking like: Black Van, Duct Tape, Cattle Prod. Peace.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Screw You Meister

LOL. fucker. Last night I went 0-2. The first game I raise the turn and some spewtard calls with his runner-runner flush draw. I showed HUGE discipline and folded to his min bet on the river. I mean he bet 40 chips into like a 1600 chip pot. I folded because I KNEW he had the flush. Some other retard called him and sure enough he had runnered my straight.

The second game I lost a 50-50 flip with Queens vs AK, and a 70-30 flip with TT vs A8. Fucking retard calls with that shit on a 3-way all in vs TT and AQ and flop comes 8.. turn goes 8.. FML.

Last but not least. Fuck you Meister. Seriously. People who believe in cashout curses and run-good curses are beyond retarded. No such thing. Peace.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Maniac Is Running Good

Been running pretty good lately. Sharkscope says I am HOT. 6-2 in the last set of eight with 3 first, One second, and two third. Not bad.

Also three tourney scores this month so far. 3rd, 9th, and 58th. Those do not include blogger games. None of them were the big score I am looking for though. My best profit was in 27 Single Draw NL. Weird. Surely that is my worst game.

I am not going to play anything specific this week. I have been hitting up a juicy nightly 1500 PLO... I really like it a lot. I will most probably play SmBoatDrinks 10-game. I have a lot of fun there. I have a first and two bubbles so I must be playing decently. Probably keep wacking the SNGs while I am running good at them too. Peace.

Sunday, April 10, 2011


Check out my newest Tao of Fear entry.

I learned this weekend that my Au Pair is a trained Acrobat / Gymnist. Can she do any wrong? She is the best Au Pair ever!

Latest toureys no score. Been ripping up the NLHE SNGs though. Getting closer to my 10K goal. Obviously the end of the year is when I will start really rolling.

Hardest week of C25K coming up. Did Week 5 Day 1 on Sunday. At this time Thursday I will be up to running 20 minutes straight. Pushups continue. Ug. I am getting some nice guns though. peace.

Friday, April 08, 2011

Fuck It All

Fuck all this negativity. I went deep. I could have won it all. The bankroll is going in the right direction. Sure it is heartbreaking to lose all that expected equity over and over and over again but that is a part of tournament poker.

Did my 63 pushups the other night. The last one I almost fell on my face. So I guess I hit the limit. My tits are becoming rock hard man pecs! Still need to figure out something to do about the spare tire. Hoping the longer distance jogs help out.

Easily doing a pull-up now too. Hey you try lifting this lard ass off the ground! It is not that easy. Running is finally hitting the "oh fuck this is hard" phase as I will be running straight 20 minutes by the end of the week. Now I can REALLY call it running. Things are going pretty good. Peace.

Thursday, April 07, 2011


Well.. never felt it after that hand and finally went out in like 60th. Could have gone further but I screwed up. I was down to 24k with like 4k blinds so it did not matter all that much anyways. That swing from 90k to 30k on some dude calling his entire tourney off on an OESD on the turn was the killer. He then donked off all the chips he took from me. Le Sigh.

84 left of 800 and this happens..

Full Tilt Poker Game #29716933225: $1,500 Guarantee (230805496), Table 1 - 600/1200 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 22:27:21 ET - 2011/04/07
Seat 1: Cantos1234 (83,919)
Seat 2: Maniac57 (83,800)
Seat 3: lig2 (18,470)
Seat 4: cngfin1 (14,505)
Seat 5: maiquinhovl (50,708)
Seat 6: eagle190 (48,485)
Seat 7: cassio1 (27,084)
Seat 8: Bensonation321 (16,044)
Seat 9: JTG5411 (30,998)
cngfin1 posts the small blind of 600
maiquinhovl posts the big blind of 1,200
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Maniac57 [Kd Qc Ad Ah]
eagle190 folds
cassio1 folds
Bensonation321 folds
JTG5411 calls 1,200
Cantos1234 folds
Maniac57 raises to 4,800
lig2 folds
cngfin1 folds
maiquinhovl calls 3,600
JTG5411 calls 3,600
*** FLOP *** [7c 9d Kc]
maiquinhovl checks
JTG5411 checks
Maniac57 bets 12,000
maiquinhovl calls 12,000
JTG5411 folds
*** TURN *** [7c 9d Kc] [4s]
maiquinhovl checks
Maniac57 bets 33,000
maiquinhovl calls 33,000
*** RIVER *** [7c 9d Kc 4s] [6d]
maiquinhovl bets 908, and is all in
Maniac57 calls 908
*** SHOW DOWN ***
maiquinhovl shows [7s 8c As Ts] a straight, Ten high
Maniac57 mucks
maiquinhovl wins the pot (106,816) with a straight, Ten high
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 106,816 | Rake 0
Board: [7c 9d Kc 4s 6d]
Seat 1: Cantos1234 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: Maniac57 mucked [Kd Qc Ad Ah] - a pair of Aces
Seat 3: lig2 (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: cngfin1 (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 5: maiquinhovl (big blind) showed [7s 8c As Ts] and won (106,816) with a straight, Ten high
Seat 6: eagle190 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: cassio1 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 8: Bensonation321 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 9: JTG5411 folded on the Flop

Still in it...

Wednesday, April 06, 2011


jesus fucking christ. How many times am i supposed to get 1-3 outted in one goddamn night and chalk it up to what... I mean fuck me. JJ vs AQ and J river gives Cemdick a fucking straight. Same thing with TT. All within like 5 minutes of each other. All in on AKQ board with AQ vs AJ and a ten hits the river? Are you fucking kidding me? Goddamn fucking bullshit left and right. It is AMAZING that I fucking won anything and yet I did. Fucking can not take all the fucking stupid ass bad beats. QT vs T5 and I get bounced from the VeryJosie? I mean what the fuck do I have to do! All this in one fucking night and many more I have not even mentioned. Jesus fucking christ! I mean seriously? Even MiamiDon said I ran worse than him! Out of his mouth that is like bigtime! I won money tonight and yet I am fucking pissed off beyond belief. Fook You Full Tilt! Fook You!

I Came, I Saw, I ... Bubbled. Grr

I hate the bubble. It sucks. Three games of SmBoat's Booze Cruise and I have a first place victory vs Jordon which made it a lot sweeter and two bubbles! Arg! In these kind of games you can usually point to one single hand that cost you it all. I think in this case it was overplaying a made hand in 27 tripple draw. I got dealt a very vulnerable T and played it too hard. This got me a little short. I probably could have come back from that if my A23 vs Wolf's A36 did not go KQ as the next two cards. Ug. Finally I called Jammies all in with 74o. Two lives cards but could not bink it. Oh well. I think I played well just not well enough.

Not sure what's on for tonight. I am sure the Dank will have a reduced number of participants. I probably will pass on it myself since I am sick of the results I have had so far. I think Buddy owes me like 600 bucks. Peace.

Tuesday, April 05, 2011


I switched over to PLO SNGs for a bit. The NLHE ones were going soooo slow. Like two hours just to bubble out. I may be exaggerating a little but not much. Also with all the aggrotards in PLO I can just sit back and play ABC and do well. I took first last night.

I will be playing SmBoatDrinks 10-game tonight, hell if I do well I may give his Thursday PLO game a shot too! FUCK if I do good in that I may even show up to Gary's Badugi!!! Peace.

Monday, April 04, 2011

Quick Update

I seem to continue to do well in the Off Holdem games. My biggest latest scores have been in PLO8, 10-Game, and now 27 NL Tripple Draw. Um yeah. I am surprised too. The Holdem games keep being break even and consist mostly of SNGs. I am however growing the bankroll slowly. No Dank games should help a lot. I am going to play SmBoat's 10-game this Tuesday though. I enjoy it a lot and I have bubbled and won it in my first two tries. I may even have to start in on the Thursday PLO8 game.

Congratz to Josie for winning Survivor Donkey Island. Even though she messed up in a few places her opponents messed up a hell of a lot more. We really should be crowning Mutchim here because he had the chance to eliminate Josie but he messed up. On top of that he then pisses her off. No knob rubbing for you! So basically he double strikes out on all his chances.... except... maybe he saved himself by a last minute tie breaking vote for Josie at the end.

I continue to exercise and lose next to nothing in weight. Still tipping the scales at 184.. down from 187 possibly.. I am still pretty early on though in week 4 of the Couch to 5K running plan.

I am also doing the 100 pushup plan. I am up to 66 pushups in a session. However I failed week 4 day 2. I did come close doing all but the last 6 pushups required. That would have put me over the 72 mark. This program ramps up so fast and is not as well designed as the running one. However my pecks are getting nice and big. I can barely keep my hands off myself. I may skip this Tuesday and let my muscles repair themselves then start week 4 over on Thursday.

All this exercise must also be creating massive waves of testosterone in my system as I had a wet dream last night. It was really odd. I do not that that has happened in a few years. I mean I still can come like 10 times a day but wet dreams are for sixteen year olds, right? It was a pretty weird dream too.. this chick was sucking my cock.. but not like a normal blowjob. I think she was doing it wrong. She just took like one big breath and then sucked like she was going to pop the top off. Just before the head exploded I woke up soaking wet. Weird.

Ah well.. I am tired as shit too. All this exercise is killing me. It can not be good for you. Peace.

Friday, April 01, 2011

100 Pounds That IS A LOT

If you have not heard Hella Holdem AKA Shelly AKA The chick that took me to her attic in Ultima Online and then started disrobing! Ok, Ok.. Maybe I am exaggerating a little there. Anyway she lost 100 pounds doing Couch to 5K and various other exercise and eating modifications. She no longer eats little kittens... She has gone all Veggy all the time. Hell she will not even drink of the teet of a cow! One Hundred Pounds! WOW! That is amazing! Incredible! Kick Ass! Neato Peachy Keen! Fuck ya! So go tell her how inspiring her weight loss is!! After that put down the donut and run a lap yourself! I am talking to you Lightning! Drop it! Peace.