Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Dank

I can not see myself playing this game ever again. Well at least for a while. I enjoyed the Survivor Donkey Island thing enough to play a few but lets review the outcomes.

Game 1: Skiddoo 2 outs me (hand 1)
Game 2: Someone Runner Runner Flushes my Set (hand 5, I am improving)
Game 3: I Donk the fuck out, hey, everyone has an off day
Game 4: I bubbled one didn't I?
Game 5: Skiddoo 1 outs me at the final table

Not very sure where the +EV in this game is for me. Just sick sick sick fucking sick crap. The tourney is named appropriately the Dank. It smells like Dank, smelly, farts. I mean fucking like 1% outs in 3 of the games I played. Ridiculous. If I even ran close to EV in these games I would be about 600 bucks richer right now. Fucking retards.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011


These are the nights that sicken me. Great stack going into the final two tables. Get in good with your opponent drawing to one out. Lose the hand. Play decent. Get back some of it. Then make a stupid mistake on the final table getting in with your own 9's vs someones queens instead of listening to your gut and your out. If that one out does not happen then I have a 24k stack going into the final table instead of a 7k stack. Fucking riddiculous. Even with all that I fucked up. I never should have gone out in 9th. I just let the fucking one outer get to me. Sickening night.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Boat Drinking WINNAH!

BOOOM! BABY! I called it with 4 left. I did a nasty runner-suckout when I said "Fuck it let's get this over and either bubble or fucking win this!". The Donkey gods heard me and let me win. I was so far behind it was not even funny.

It gave me enough chips to play well though. I got some NICE hands on 27-draw. SmBoat got the Joe C curse.. and I called it. I said it would be me and Jordon HU and I would win! He had a large stack at the time and everyone laughed at me. NEVER LAUGH AT THE WAFFLES! I did it though. SmBoat got creamed by the Joe C curse. I avoided the curse by jacking off to Snookie. Aposec went out next. It then got down to Jordon and I. I was talking some good shit. I think Jordon might of got a little mad. So I settled down and finally won it. It was actually a very good HU match. I got lucky in LHE. I then stopped getting lucky and Jordon took the lead again.

I thought if I could survive until PLO I might have a slight edge. Jordon is actually proficient in all of the games. I think I might have more PLO experience though. Not sure. Anyways I got the hands I needed. I flopped a K66 boat with KK6 in my hand... that was a big turning point. I was able to check and get paid off by his hand. I then flopped the nut flush against his set and it held. I bet it hard trying to disguise the strength of my hand. Not sure if it worked but he was willing to gamble for the boat at that point and I got lucky to hold up.

All kidding aside Jordon is a really good competitor and I enjoyed playing him. Obviously the two best players won. :P. Also I gotta say Gary made some pretty nice laydowns. His game keeps improving. Peace.

Who Gives a Fuck

"Here's the situation: I bought in to a $22 No Limit tournament on Pokerstars. 73 total entrants. We are in the first level and I am dealt QQ. As Oh Captain recently said: "In the early stages of bar poker, I hate to go crazy to early with hands like QQ." This wasn't bar poker, but the theory still applies. QQ is a premium hand but nobody likes to go home in the first level because you couldn't get away from a premium hand."

Interesting comments by both Oh Captain and JammyHawk. However in Jammie's situation I have a different take. In Oh Captain's situation he is out to have some fun, get a few beers in him, play bar poker. In this case I would want to stay around a little longer and would be more careful. In Jammie's situation however I am like fuck it. I know your supposed to be all careful and pussy at the beginning of an MTT or SNG. However if your playing within your bankroll and limits I take the approach of who gives a fuck. I want to chip up early. A lot of people say that you never win an MTT in the early stages. Ok. I can agree with that. However those chips give you a lot of flexibility and allow you to play a whole lot wider and take advantage of a lot more spots. If I get a lot of chips early I usually can parlay them into a fuck load more chips early which then can make me the winner. I like the flexibility the early chip lead gives for my style of play. If I lose. Who gives a fuck. I can play another one in five seconds. It is the wonder of online poker. So next time you are faced with a hard decision, early in an MTT, use the Waffles WGAF method. It is ballah. Peace.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Daniel vs Isildur

I have been reading up on this HU competition and I really think Negreanu has chosen a bad opponent to face. It does not surprise me that he was totally wiped out at their first meeting and only made a small profit in the final encounter. I see Daniel's style as being a small ball, post flop, type style. Isildur on the other hand is a BIG POT, gamble it up, raise and re-raise with air or the nuts kind of player. When you pair up the two I think it takes Daniel out of his comfort zone. Both being professional players they each can adapt but I think if you ran this 100 times Daniel would be the big time loser over time.

Friday, March 25, 2011

UB Still Scumbags

Just in case some people forget what a retarded site they support go and read this recent article. I think it says a lot about what type of site UB is.

Bad Boys

Exciting night last night. First off I am driving my daughter back from Walgreens. She has a little tendinitis in her elbow from lacrosse practice. She is also a drama queen so of course she needs a sling. We settled on an arm support because the sling was way too big for an eight year old and this looked better.

I stop at the intersection. A train comes. The alternate light turns green. Train passes. My light turns green. I pull into the intersection. My light turns yellow then red. I assume the other side is red also so inch forward but it is green! oops. Anyways, I wait and a cop lets me get in front of him. I go down the street for a block or so and he is pulling me over. Driving while White I tell ya!

He says that I went through a red light. He could not look me straight in the eyes when he said this though. I honestly think he pulled me over because I glanced in my mirror at him. Fucktard. He "let me off" with a warning. Obviously he could not have seen my light at all and could not possibly have any idea if I went through a red light or a green light. So he was just fucking hassling me.

Somehow after this my daughter and I get into a strange conversation that went something like this.

Her: A guy can have a baby.
Me: no
Her: Yes. If a man and a man love each other then they can have a baby out the butt.
Me: No. If two men love each other then they would have to ask one of the guys women friends to get pregnant and give them the baby.
Her: No. Babies can come from mens butts.

We finally get home and since I have not convinced her she walks up to my wife and says "Mom, I told dad if a man and a man love each other they can have a baby out the butt but he said they need to have a woman friend to get pregnant and give them the baby. Dad is wrong, right mom?"

Apparently I was very wrong to tell her this. The Wife was kind of pissed off. Although it was hard to tell between the bouts of hysterical laughter from everyone in the room. I personally never like to lie to the kids. So if they ask me a question I will tell them the answer. The wife prefers that I stop doing this. I also mentioned that if a baby was in a mans tummy he would die from the acid which led to a nice round of fat bastard imitations. "GETTT IN MY TUMMMY!". Our Scottish Au Pair seemed amused.

Poker last night was interesting. I signed on for a quick SNG and The Poker Enthusiast AKA Fastpitch was signed up for a 5.50 PLO8 tourney. I was seated with SmBoatDrinks. He basically bubbled out. I was in good shape at the bubble and made it to the final table. I then did something I rarely do.. I played way too loose and aggressive on the final table and ended up going out first. I really feel if I get to the money at the final table I am a shoe in for a 4-5th place finish at worse. I just lost my concentration and got a little impatient trying to force things and blew a good opportunity. Still I guess a cash is a cash.

The question yesterday was not a whine. I do not necessarily mind going out on the bubble. I just need to figure out if it is for a good reason or am I overplaying some hands where I should be more cautious. I suppose the math guys are all like "well if you were 50.01% favorite in the hand then you did the right thing".. I like to look at things a little deeper. Peace.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

General Question

I have been asking myself the following question since I have been bubbling a few SNGs and MTTs lately. Does this mean I am doing it right or wrong? If I find myself racing tens against AJ on the bubble.. or jamming A7 into a QJ and bubbling does it mean I am being too aggressive or does it mean I am playing to win the whole thing and it will even out in the end.

We will not get into "What kind of retard re-jams AJ on the bubble to an EP raise with a fucking JackAce". We can save that discussion until later. :P.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Can Never Beat the JackAce

Went deep in the Dank. Bubbled. I raised TT in the ep and Xklm jammed JackAce. I figured he was jamming any two since I got QQ, TT, and like AK in the last three hands and had jammed them all. Of course he binks an Ace and rivers a Jack just to rub it in. I had like 4BB left.. maybe 8... so I just jammed The Bammer. I got the call with two live cards.. I flopped a flush redraw.. However my 15 outs 2x never got there and I ended up as the bubble. Stupid fucking game.

Ok Sorry!

Ok God Sorry! It was not snowing tonight. It might snow later. It was 40 degrees and not bad at all. I had a great run. It was a little painful as my shins or more so my front leg muscles have been in pain during runs. Still had a great time.

God Hates Me Still

I mean I have to thank the creator of all that exists. He really makes me feel special by his singling me out for special punishment. I mean how else can I interpret the recent weather patterns? I plan to go jogging on Monday. Guess what. It fucking snows. It is goddamn spring! I can chalk one time up to coincidence but Tuesday was a nice day. Sunny. Shiny. Cool but decent running weather. I plan to go running tonight. ONE TO THREE INCHES OF FUCKING SNOW! Starting tonight! Probably exactly when I start running. I can see him up there. With a fucking grin on his face. Directing his storm angels.. "Wait... wait for it... any minute now.... OK SNOW ON HIS PANSY ASS!". I mean give me a break? It is just not possible for this to be some random occurrence.

I played SmBoatDrinks bagillion game MTT last night. It was kind of fun. I even made it to the final table. I had an short but decent stack and lost it in the end playing 2-7 triple draw. Both of my opponents took their third draw and binked me on the river. Motherfuckers.

Meanwhile Josie is fucking the large stack at the table. No. She is not fucking the large stack on the table. She IS the large stack!

Now I do not claim to understand all of the games to a large degree. I have passable knowledge in many of the games including Stud, Omaha, Limit HE.. the only games I needed to look up on the internet were 2-7 Draw games and Badugi. Never played much of either game. Josie admits to knowing NOTHING about any of these games. I mean you could have a game show with a vegetative retard and Josie and ask questions about certain parts of these games and I would put money on the retard to win.

I should know by now that Tourney players do not go by the normal laws of poker. I really believe Josie has a future in this game and will go on to win millions. She has that retarded jam A3o and bink quad threes vs AA type of skill. She can play games she has never even seen before and have a vague idea of the rules and outlast skilled players who know all about the games. It is the true sign of a Tourney Savant.

I truly fear if the day should come when Sucko and LJ produce a spawn. He will just push all in every hand and become the greatest poker player of all time.

I am running tired tonight. Was up a little too late. We then took my daughter to the ER this morning. Basically all she did was sprain a tendon or something while practicing for Lacross the other night. She wanted to go to the ER last night but I made her wait. I really do not think she even had to go.. I mean people sprain things all the time. Fucking man up! So like 250 bucks later doctor is like ice it and take aspiring. No fucking kidding Sherlock. Did they fucking teach you that in medical school? Fricken ridiculous.

I may show up for the Dank. Not sure my frazzled nerves can take it not to mention the ridiculous cost per hand for the Dank for me. It is like on average $10 per hand for me to play this thing. It might be better if I could like last 1000 hands. I might actually think I did something worthwhile then. Peace out.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Booze Boy

SmBoatDrinks beat BrainMc in an EPiC shove fest to survive elimination on Donkey Island hosted on Full Tilt Poker. How is that for some link love? Did I mention I love Donkey Island? It has been fun to watch.

I have some predictions about the end game but I am not going to share them because it might influence then game.

Once SmBoat beat BrainMc I was told that he wanted me to play in his weekly tourney. Normally I do not play many blogger tourneys lately but since he won the elimination match I decided to go ahead and give it a shot.

The Booze Cruise
Tuesday Night at 9:10pm
Password is boatdrinks

I asked that daffy oompah loompah what the game was and she was like "oh my god.. I dunno.. like. it's like.. I dunno.. like some grody limit thingy with like um like some bag guy game or something.. oh my god.. like like I dunno". So I am not sure what games are going to be laid out but it appears to be limit mixed games. Hey I am surprised she can even spell Poker.

Running went well last night. We had a minor snow storm here. So I ran with ice falling off the trees onto me. In shorts. Short sleeves. In the pouring rain. I also forgot to take my glasses off so they were all soaked in rain and fogged up. I forgot my watch too so I had to guesstimate the times. Actually I picked a point where I knew I did a 1:30 and just ran that evenly for the night.

It is interesting getting back into this. My breathing and heart rate are perfectly steady and not taxed much. It is my muscle fatigue that gets me. I am glad I started up at the beginning instead of trying to jump ahead. I need my leg muscles to catch up to where I feel I can jog. I am also feeling a lot more exhausted this time around. Just in general. Not having a lot of energy. Need to work on that.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Kid's Say The Darndest Things

ME: I am going running
Kid: With your underwear that stops your balls from bouncing?
ME: umm.. yeah
Au Pair: lol

Did my second run of week two. Still trying to get my muscles to catch up to my breathing. I can breath easily and my heart does not go crazy it is just my leg muscles holding me back... but I am doing what I need to do each week.

Next A-Rod?

I went this weekend with the kid to a batting lesson. We were almost late which sucked but we recovered and got there on time. It was a fucking awesome lesson. The guy who gave the lesson was really good with kids. He kept asking JMan questions about the lesson in a fun way and drilling in what he needed to know.. Step-Pivot-Punch. I could see some nice contact on the bat too. I hope it translates to some nice power hitting when the season starts. If not who cares because we are having a good time.

After the session I told the kid that his mother requested a chance to ask some other kids where they got lessons. To see if there were any better places than this Waltham place I chose. You know because I am a scrub and can not do anything right. I did not prompt the kid but he said "Oh, yeah, Mom is just mad because you found a good place huh?". Bingo kiddo! See he is a smart kid!

Once it gets warmer I am going to try and get out every night or two and toss a bucket of balls to the kid so he can practice. We pitched a few in the yard but I keep worrying he is going to nail a window.. plus it was really fucking cold.

Running is still going good. Did Week 2 Day One this Saturday. I find that my breathing is pretty good and most of the work is building up my leg muscles again. I find my legs get really sore at the end of runs but no lingering effects. Of course I am only running like 90 seconds at a time over 20 minutes so there should not be any effect at all. At least I am still doing it. Tonight is the next run. In the snow. Yeah. We are having snow. FML.

Finally failed in my pushups. I did 13,10,9,9, and was supposed to do another 13 but fell on my face at around 10. I really hate this program in case you did not read about it last time. It ramps up so fucking fast that you are bound to feel like a failure. Doing over 50 pushups SHOULD feel like Superman but instead it is like "Fuck, I missed the last three". I will be repeating week 3 this week. Blah.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Omaha Is So Much Fun

Maniac57: stfu moron go fuck your whore of a spanish mother

Sleep is -EV

I played one SNG. Basically got 2-outted when I raised in EP with JJ and a guy with tens called and binked his ten on the flop. I did not have enough chips to wait after that. So in late position I jammed my last 700 chips with T7 diamonds. A guy with like 2k chips instantly calls with Aces.. BLAHAHAHA no I am just kidding, he had QJ s00ted. Unfortunately it was diamonds like me because the flop came Axx all diamond. One of the worst instant calls I have seen in a while.

I then went upstairs and pumped out my 50 pushups. I did my ten flights of stairs earlier in the day. At the end of the fifty I could not move my arms so I fell on the floor and that is where I woke up this morning. I had wanted to play another SNG and own some bitches but whateva.

New post on Tao of Fear. Angry Birds. I am back from my little vacation in the padded room. Peace.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Shut Up Midget Oompah

Oh oh now (s)he is REALLY going to kill me. Joe C Suckout let me tell you something. Good game it was not! Not even close! Why do people say "Good Game" when you play like shit? I mean give me a fucking break. Say something like "Nice playing with ya" or "Thanks for the chips suckah!" as MiamiDon suggested but gg? Cmon!

I will say though... Joe C... You put a smile on my face and made me go to sleep with a laugh in my belly. Thanks for anal raping Skiddoo last night. I could not stop laughing. So what if holding a grudge for three weeks is bad! Fucking Skiddoo! We have history!!! How does it feel to get runner-runnered anyways? BLAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

One nice perk of being more proactive and involved in life.. It pisses my roomate (I never know what to call her, My Wife, the Ex, some bitch who lives with me) off to no end. I was asking all kinds of questions about the kids sports and educational activities last night. She finally yells at me "Why you grilling me about stuff?".. and I am just calm and cool "I am not".. which pissed her off even more. I am kind of liking this.

I found out that the school's solution for my son's dyslexia and inability to read fast is... have the Au Pair read to him. Apparently his doctor, the school, and everyone else thinks this is how you improve your reading. So I told the kid he has to read. Fuck whatever anyone else tells him. He freaks out and says it is going to take an hour for him to read twenty pages and I am ruining his life. Finally I compromised and told him he has to read 15 minutes himself and if he only gets through one page that is fine.. then the Au Pair can read the rest of the pages to him. I just do not understand how he can learn to read and get past his issues without.. um... reading. Never mind the fact that I also do not understand how listening to someone talk is considered reading. I mean are you fucking kidding me? Reading is such an enjoyable thing too.. I want him to feel that joy instead of being some sitcom watching monkey.

One thing KenP said in my last post bothered me. "Seems like when the bitch hurt you (and keeps on) you've built a shell and now need to push it aside to be yourself." We can not blame others for what we have allowed our lives to become. I want to stay so far away from that kind of attitude that it is not even funny. There is plenty of blame to go around. If I just sit back blaming people for my own faults I will never get up and change things because it is everyone else who has the problem not me. So I will decline this kind of thinking and just focus on what I need to do to get back to being myself.

Ran last night. Front of my legs hurt a bunch while running. No lasting pain yet. Fun times! I lost a little last night at poker. However I did go 2-2 and would have been basically break even if the Dank was not a bigger buyin than what I am playing now. I also could have broken even if I did not blow one of my games and take third place when I should have had second at worst and probably should have dominated first. I am alright with the results for the night considering that my play was erratic. Peace.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Stupid Bayne

Actually I love Bayne.. not in a weird, rub your bald head, kind of way. He is a good guy and cares a lot for me. I consider him a friend. I don't think his comments are very funny though. Also they kind of miss the point. I mean I get that there are a million things I need to change and the whole living situation is part of all that. Even though I know he means well his comments are not constructive and are hurtful and depressing in a way.

The point of me making changes though is not to be on someone else schedule of what they think I need to do. The point is to get in touch with myself again and start FUNCTIONING as an adult and a human instead of being what I am now. It is kind of hard to explain though.

As an example I feel good about yesterday and today. What did I do? I have kind of been promising my kid for a year that I would get him baseball lessons. I have been putting off doing anything about this. Finally I went after it and we have a lesson this weekend. I look at myself and know I want to be a man of integrity. When I tell my kids I am going to do something I want them to book it as done.

Anyhow I am going to do things at my pace, when I want, where I want, and how I want. I am going to come up with solutions that work for me and I am going to keep asking myself who I am and who I want to be and how I want my life to be and work towards those goals. If people say shit that bothers me I am going to tell them too.

It is really hard to describe just how out of touch I am with who I am and what I want. How far I have turned into myself and away from anything resembling normal behavior. It is not a new thing. I think I have been dysfunctional all my life but it has really gone overboard in the past few years and it needs to stop.

The exercise continues to go well. I did my 10 flights of stairs and 46 pushups yesterday. Tonight is my third day of running. Things keep progressing and I keep asking myself the important questions. Peace.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Changes: Menage E Trois

Third time is a charm. I need to change my life people. I have spent too much of it blaming everyone else for all of my problems. If I keep this up I see my future. I will be giving old guys like lightning blow jobs on the street for a sammich and a swig of Jack Daniels. In between swallows (of cum or JD, you decide) I will tell them how it is all my wife's fault that I got here.

I used to believe that we were in control of our lives. Not in control of everything. That is the domain of The Fates, God, Kali (hey baby looking good!), Buddha, whatever you believe in. We have control over how we react and what we do in life. We can decide how to handle every situation in our lives.

I have spent too much of my time on Earth letting things happen to me instead of being an active participant in life. I am done with it. I am done blaming other people for everything. I am done not being in control of my life. I am done being a back seat driver.

It has gone way too far. I do not like the person I have become. I am going to take charge of the things I can in life and stop letting excuses stop me. I have very difficult situations to deal with but there is always a good solution. It will be hard to change something that is so ingrained in myself but I have had enough. I will take control of my life, stop making excuses, and make a life I can be proud of. Everything that is ruined in my life is caused by me. I will change that now.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Changes Part Duex

Ha! I am still gonna fail to write the post I keep meaning to. I really keep meaning to write a nice big post but then I feel like I am not writing often enough and so I keep writing the little updates.

The weekend poker went horrible. I played bad in a few spots. I got the most ridiculous suckouts ever including one hand where I bet the flop, jammed the turn, and A3.. no pair.. nada.. calls me and binks his fucking miracle Ace on the river. Instead of going insane I switched over to Warcraft. I actually have 200K gold in the game.. well, just shy.. 250K used to be the limit now it is a million! bwahahah!

The boy lost his basketball final. He got a "Metro West Runner Up" Tee shirt for surviving till the end. I was really proud of the team getting that far since they kind of sucked. I laughed at the parents at the end of the game with all their "Good game boys" bullshit. When you lose by 20 points it was NOT a good game. Sorry. Tell little Timmy he sucked and move on.

The Wife, Daughter and I went to breakfast before the game. We had dropped the son off to early warmups first. The daughter wanted to race me to the restaurant so I smoked her tiny little 8yr old ass! YA! I am faster than an 8 year old! BOOOM! I think she was surprised I could move that fast. As a side note did you ever notice most people in "All Day Breakfast" places are 300 pounds or more. I seriously felt like the skinny one. Our waitress had a really nice ass though so she got a good tip.

I skipped my nephews birthday party. The rest of the family went. I really did not want to see my idiot sister and I do not like her kid either. It is not his fault. I think I am just transferring feelings for my sister onto him.

I started up the C25K plan again. It seems a lot easier even after 5 months off. I am about 10 pounds lighter than when I first started but I figured I would have the same breathing issues as last time. It was not bad at all though. Weird. So now the schedule is something like:


100 Pushups Program
10 Flights of Stairs at work

There is a little flex in there.. like this weekend I never got to the pushups because I woke up at 3AM on Saturday and could not go back to sleep. So I was totally exhausted. I am amazed I even ran.

I rocked Angry Birds this weekend too. Ut oh! Anyway more substantial post later. Peace.

Friday, March 11, 2011


First off before I get into all that can I give a BIG fuck you to Kindle? I mean are you fucking kidding me? I was thinking about getting the kindle app on my phone.. well when I get a phone.. if I get a phone... I talked to people and they were like YA! KINDLE! WOOT! 60% LESS THAN NORMAL BOOKS! It made sense to me because you cut our storage, distribution and most of all FUCKING PAPER. I looked up the book I am reading now Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz. Koontz is a great writer by the way. If you have not read him you should. Try The Servants of Twilight it is very cool. I digress. Anyways one guess how much it costs? SEVEN FUCKING NINETY NINE! HELLO! That is what I paid in order for you to cut down a fucking tree and make something I could hold and snuggle on a goddamn cold winters night. yeah fuck you, beggars can't be choosers. How the hell do you charge the same fucking price? It is not even a new book! It is a goddamn book from 2007! What are you fucking stupid? You costs can not be even close to 7.99. No stores. No storage. No fucking paper! No goddamn way you stupid cockrags! Fucking sheeple paying full price to burn your eyeballs out on a goddamn Kindle device and not even getting a discount? Stupidity!!! SO FUCKING STUPID! Stop closing my bookstores I fucking need them!!!! ARGGGGGGGGHHHHAHH *(&@(*@&#(*&@#&*(@&#*(&@#*(@# FML! MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!

um, I think that is enough for this post, will continue my changes post a little later..

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Steel Baby

Balls of steel. Went on to take second. Blah. Really wanted first.

Full Tilt Poker Game #28916977228: $3 + $0.30 KO Sit & Go (224905835), Table 8 - 500/1000 Ante 125 - No Limit Hold'em - 23:16:38 ET - 2011/03/10
Seat 2: jorville (12,220)
Seat 3: Maniac57 (10,980)
Seat 4: doodlebug66 (6,205)
Seat 6: shawnpowell7 (10,255)
Seat 7: Corazondeoro101 (28,665)
Seat 8: Coitus9 (13,025)
Seat 9: ehbpts13 (12,795)
jorville antes 125
Maniac57 antes 125
doodlebug66 antes 125
shawnpowell7 antes 125
Corazondeoro101 antes 125
Coitus9 antes 125
ehbpts13 antes 125
doodlebug66 posts the small blind of 500
shawnpowell7 posts the big blind of 1,000
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Maniac57 [4d 5d]
Corazondeoro101 folds
Coitus9 folds
ehbpts13 folds
jorville calls 1,000
Maniac57 calls 1,000
doodlebug66 calls 500
shawnpowell7 checks
*** FLOP *** [7d 9d 3h]
doodlebug66 checks
shawnpowell7 checks
jorville bets 2,000
Maniac57 calls 2,000
doodlebug66 folds
shawnpowell7 folds
*** TURN *** [7d 9d 3h] [9h]
jorville bets 2,000
Maniac57 calls 2,000
*** RIVER *** [7d 9d 3h 9h] [8c]
jorville bets 1,500
Maniac57 raises to 5,855, and is all in
jorville folds
Uncalled bet of 4,355 returned to Maniac57
Maniac57 mucks
Maniac57 wins the pot (15,875)
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 15,875 | Rake 0
Board: [7d 9d 3h 9h 8c]
Seat 2: jorville folded on the River
Seat 3: Maniac57 (button) collected (15,875), mucked
Seat 4: doodlebug66 (small blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 6: shawnpowell7 (big blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 7: Corazondeoro101 folded before the Flop
Seat 8: Coitus9 folded before the Flop
Seat 9: ehbpts13 folded before the Flop

It's Goin'

I am so on top of my game right now. The adjustments I have been making have worked out great. I am owning hoes left and right. I ended up down about four bucks after last night.

You all read how I destroyed my opponent in the Dank just to get sucked out on hard. I really should not be playing the Dank since it is above my bankroll at the moment and I seem to have the most awesome luck in it... HOWEVER I keep thinking one of these times my hand has to hold.

I then played a couple of SNGs. Both of them had long bubbles which sucked. In the first one I made a rare mistake. I was on the bubble and my opponent had 1BB. I had AQ. I limped, he was in on the BB... the large stack then jammed all in. My reasoning was that either he had a monster hand in which case he would KO the 1BB guy and I would take 3rd place money or he had some weak sauce hand in which case I had a decent chance to double and take out the 1BB guy. I was down to about 12BB or less at this time. If I doubled up I think my chances at first or second are much better.

The hands where flipped over and the 1BB guy had the hammer (72o), the huge stack who jammed had a reasonable 88.. so my AQ was not in horrible position and the 72o was basically drawing dead to some kind of runner runner action. Of course you all know how this ends. A seven on the flop and it's brother on the river and all my well thought out calculations go for naught. I am not sure my call was a -EV play. I do think it might have been a mistake though. It is a really marginal spot so folding probably was the right move. Only because SNG play is about making the money every single game in my opinion.

At this point I got extremely pissed off and the RUSHHHH poker tables started whispering my name. I reined in my destructive tendencies for the night and decided to keep to my plan.

I moved on to the second SNG game and this one started off great. I raised my AQ suited in early position and got two callers. The flop came down with a couple of clubs and all under-cards. No way I am getting away from this hand. I bet out and get called by BOTH opponents. The turn is a blank and somehow everyone's money gets in the middle. The hands I am against are AA and an OESF draw. I binked one of my good outs on the river and was up to 3x my stack early. The next few people went out fast but then it deteriorated into a grind. Eventually the big stack got too pushy and was KOed as the bubble boy. Quickly followed by the next guy. It was HU and I started as a 3:1 dog. I fought hard and pushed all my edges. Finally when I had an 8K to 4K lead I raised up my Aces and got the jam I was hoping for. First place was mine.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Um Ya

Two Mookies and two times I flop the set on the flop. I have my opponent drawing thin... JoelPokerDonk calls my all in jam. I guess he is smarter than Skiddonk because he had a gutter draw along with his over pair... of course he binks his miracle on the turn. MATH guys never think that their overpairs are bad. Anyway not much you can do there.

Nice Day

I had a decent birthday. Total take was:

1 $75 Gift Card from Mom
1 $100 Outback Steakhouse Gift Card from Consulting Company
1 Pair of Sleak Hot Runners Undies
1 Hawesome Post from a very, very good friend!
1 Home Made Cake from the Kiddies
60 Birthday Wishes on Facebook! Yay me!
1 Buying myself a fucking computer, screw it, I am doing it this time!
1 Kickass PVP Helmet with Agility Meta, enchants, and other awesome killing stuff for my Feral Cat.
1 Foot Fetish Fantasy from the Au Pair

All in all not a bad day. I did play an SNG but someone distracted me and I was not able to cash. Kills my record at 3-1. Blah. I sort of do not count that one as I was highly distracted.

Since daylight savings time is starting this weekend I am going to hit the jogging trail hard. I will start the C25K all over again. If you have not tried it you should. My Platypus lovin' friend HellaHoldem started me on this last year. She kept it up through the winter unlike me. She has lost like 3 people in weight or something. I mean she looks fantastic! I got my chess playing friend at work to start it also last fall and he has taken it up a notch higher than I got and is doing all this shit with metronomes and I dunno.. fucking running freaks. He has lost a ton of weight too.

As for me I have put on about 10 pounds as I hibernated over the winter and let the bad habits back in. I started about two weeks ago with walking up ten flights of stairs every day and the 100 pushup program. I will add in the running this Saturday and we shall see what happens. Since I am starting at a lower weight maybe I can get down to 160 before the winter doldrums hit me. Who knows I may even join a fucking gym or something.

Mah brotha MiamiDon is back blogging. He even gave Josie advice to stop overplaying AJ. You know Don is a great player though because he says "stop OVERPLAYING AJ".. he knows, as all of us legends of poker do, that any two cards can win you a pile of money.. you just have to know how to play them. Peace out and thanks for all the birthday wishes!

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Yeah, Yeah, Happy Birthday

"Yes, now you are another year older…almost as old as the white beard makes you look! HA! Lol" - My Wife

Another year another clusterfuck so what's new. Happy Birthday Waffles. Send all donations to Fulltilt poker (Maniac57), blah blah blah. Call me for birthday shots? Do you not read the Tao Of Fear!?!?! The Waffles Report? Why the fucking hell not? Get there and do it! It may save your life in the coming revolution!

Played poker last night. Owned a dude. Won my SNG. It was not even close as I had 7k chips with like 5 people left. I used the patented Waffles Gutter Jam move. TWICE! What is the Gutter Jam? Shit you have never used the gutter jam? Well I will give you a birthday present then. You have a hand like 45o. The flop comes 37K. Now you have a nasty gutter draw. Your opponent bets. You float him and *BING* you hit your gutterball on the turn. Instead of slow playing it you just jam your whole stack in as fast as possible. You will be AMAZED at how many people call you. After you scoop their chips your way you can say "You just got fucked by the "Waffles Gutter Jam"(c) you Bitch!". Your friends will all be amazed. Peace.

Monday, March 07, 2011

Booty Call

Little bit annoyed with the Wife today. She skipped my son's basketball playoff game for a booty call. Now there was like 1% chance his team was going to win on Saturday and make the Sunday game. It is for this reason that she set her booty call for Sunday. I will not even get into her already like several times giving the ultimatum that no Booty is coming until he gets rid of his wife but that is besides the point. When the kid won on Saturday (scoring some rare points I might add) she should have changed her plans. I will not even mention that she only saw the last three minutes of his Saturday game either.. at least she showed up right? *sigh*.

The game on Sunday was FANTASTIC. It started out with his team down 9-24 and they surged back for a 44-37 win! Also of note was when my son dribbles down court, does a head fake, dribbles inside, under the basket past the defender, and pops one in. Hurray for some more points! I am very excited as he has only scored like 10 points all season, and four points in the playoffs. Way to go kid!

In other news I am LOVING the Donkey Island. The creator has been cannibalized by his own people! I LOVE IT! I think if Goat survived the merger he would have gone deep and probably won. Getting rid of him now was a great play and I am laughing my ass off. I love this whole concept. Getting thrown off your own Island! Priceless!!! Keep it going people.

One problem I foresee now is who do you hate? Who do you really want to see voted off. I laughed when Hoy went down. I felt kind of sorry for Jordon but it was kind of hilarious.. Al kind of surprised me... but who is left with the star power? Where are you going to get the emotional charge going forward? Where is the villain you can root against? I am not sure if there is one..

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

The White Boy Is Back... Better than Ever

I was thinking before tonights game about the last few games I have played. As much as the Mookie and the VeryJosie are donkeyments they also require thinking and knowing your opponents.

I feel like the past few games I have played have been bad.

Normally I have a dominating hand and get sucked out on. However these past games I have gotten in REALLY bad. It is totally not my style. I decided tonight to play MY game.

I started with the Josie and I could feel I was playing MY GAME. I used Jordon's natural aggression against him, I made a few mistakes and waffled up and down but built the image I wanted to show. I played the hands I need to play to win and I chipped up. I took Cem to valuetown so bad. He was like a 2-bit whore paying me off on every street. It pissed him off so bad that he said "At least I will outlast you Waffles". I replied "I take that as a challenge", and he laughed. I was ready to focus in and destroy him.

The Dank started and I felt good. I had a pair of fours on the first hand. Skiddoo raised and I cold called. The flop came 4Kx two suit. I knew Skiddoo would fire out a bet. I also knew he was not good enough to fold Aces vs Waffles. I read his soul and jammed my entire double stack in on the first hand with a set of fours against two outs. In other words I fucking owned. The turn was a third club. The river was a fourth club and I was out on the first hand of the game. I felt awesome though because THIS IS HOW WAFFLES PLAYS! He outplays his opponents and THEY needs to Joe C Luckbox out on him in order to survive. I am the KING of POKER baby! I am fucking back!

In the Josie I kept playing my game. I lost a bunch of 50/50's, I won a ton of hands I should. I got a gutter draw to jam all in against my two pair and he got there. Eventually though I played my game and took people out. Wolfie ran a ill advised bluff with his AQ and I took most of his stack with my 47o. Hey I was fucking ahead on the 4T8 flop! The seven turn was just icing baby! I took the last four people out and made gutter boy into bubble boy. It was three left SmallBoat, Cem and I. I took my boy Cem out and said "Yeah, you are going to outlast me".. I do not think he liked that comment. The final hands against SmallBoat I was behind on. You could call them coolers. Heads up flush over flush.. Heads up he turns a set and rivers a boat when I river trips... hey, what can you do. I kind of thought he might have the Ace flush in the hand where I had the Jack but it is a hard fold. He played well and deserved to win. Even if I am the best player. Yeah, the White Boy is Back and he IS better than ever.

Tao of Fear

Latest Waffles Report is out at the Tao of Fear. Biting. Hard hitting. Journalistic political reporting from yours truly. Better posts coming soon.

Played some Yahoo! Chess last night. Direct online is good if you have the time. MiamiDon beat me in the end with Queen King vs King. Bayne beat me because I fucking switched over to Warcraft and got distracted then I made the fucking stupidest move ever. I can not say I would have beat him but I had a chance. The end game was so good. I enjoyed it all until I fucked up and did a move I never would have done if I was paying attention.

Random Guy Number One on Yahoo Chess beat me. He tricked me into taking his rook then he got my queen. Nasty trap and I fell for it bad. It was all downhill from there. Second Random guy I beat up. He seemed to be doing better than I was and had much better protection but he made a few mistakes and I nailed him at the end with a sweet Queen move that took him totally by surprise. I then looked at the clock and it was like 1AM. Addict!

Tonight is Donkey Fucker Island. I think I will play that along with the VeryJosie.