Thursday, October 27, 2011

Jordon Asks a Who

New feature for my buddy Jordon. No just kidding. Jordon asked if I was ever happy with the wife. On the surface this is a dumb question because why would anyone get married if they were not happy. However I am used to answering Jordon's dumb questions.

First off I will tell you that most of my life I have been unhappy. Perhaps even depressed. At times it was more of a dull thrum in the background. Possibly it would come across as bored or tired or just not satisfied.

Some of my earliest memories is as a kid in sixth grade. I had it pretty good I think. The kids in my class loved my writing skills. I would always create these awesome Sci-Fi or Fantasy based stories. Everyone found them entertaining. I had friends at school and in the hood where I grew up. It is true, I am a regular Snoop Dog. I had my issues obviously. I had doubts that people "really" liked me. In general though I think my life was pretty good.

I remember standing outside and looking up to the heavens and thinking "man, I wish my life would change". I felt bored or stagnant. I am not sure why. It is entirely possible it was depression. Along with all the good I had my issues. I was a latchkey kid. My dad was never home. He either worked all the time or slept. If he was around we had to watch out for his temper or we could get smacked by the belt. My mom was never there emotionally. It was not horrible but by no means was it perfect.

I finally got my wish and we moved. It was the start of some horrific years. I never could make any friends and the whole school experience with getting teased was horrible.

I made it through those years and in some ways had another stretch of pseudo-happiness. I found out I was good for something. I could write a damn good line of fucking code. Put me in front of anything to do with computers and even if it was my first time working with it I could have something up and running for you in short order. I was self taught. I was damn good at what I did and finally found some form of acceptance in work.

The damage was done already though. I remained, and still am, socially awkward. I find it hard to make friends. It is very difficult for me to go up to someone I do not know and just talk to them. Whatever brain damage I have it is here to stay.

So even though I had tons of accolades from work I still just had just one or two friends and my dating life was non-existent. Into this mix comes my co-worker Terri. She tells me about a great roommate she has and how she thinks we would be a good match.

This leads to a whole whirlwind year of my life. We get to talking and start dating. I start to loosen up after a few dates and she gets a sense of my humor. I remain shy until she reaches around to the front of me while I am doing dishes and starts stroking my cock. We had barely even kissed up to that point because I was too shy to make a move.

This lead to me discovering the second thing I had talent in. I am not sure how I got this talent. It could be from my long, lean, programming hands. It might be because I watched so much porn and stroked it like 10x a day. It could just be god given talent. I was a sex machine. I was damn good at it.

We fucked everywhere. Like five times a day. I would bang her in the kitchen, the living room, the bedroom, in the car, all around the house. We frequently had to grab our clothes and rush upstairs because of an unexpected roommate return to the house. We put bunnies to shame! Orgasm after orgasm. Her cries of pleasure could be heard blocks away. I was having a damn good time myself.

It was a good period of my life. It really was. I felt connected to someone in ways that I never had before. We had different hobbies and likes and we tried each interests. We went out to eat all the time. We talked. We had a good time.

At that point in time I would say I was in love. In hindsite it was probably more like infatuation. I can say it was one of the happiest times of my life though. Infatuation usually is a happy, intoxicating, heady brew.

I think the mistake we made was getting married slightly quickly. I work out everything in my head beforehand. I need to live my life out before it happens. My marriage plan was to date a woman for no less than 2 years, and to live with her for at least 1 year before ever getting married. I think this was a solid idea.

Things that work out one way in my head rarely ever work out the same way in real life. About a year later she started dropping hints that she wanted to get married. We were happy. Having a good time. Got along. A few of our friends had reservations about it. We really had nothing in common was the usual comment. We were different though. We would make it work out. We were so happy.

So we tied the knot about a year into knowing each other and our first child was on the way shortly after. The wedding was the best wedding ever. Seriously classy. Afterwards life happened. Her dad died, then her mom went into a nursing home, we had both children, her mom died, we had to clean up a house in Pennsylvania, for the next two or three years we really had no time together. We threw everything into our kids and taking care of her things. Every weekend we were driving down to Pennsylvania, spending the weekend there, and driving back late at night. Our first child screamed for the first 9 months of his life never sleeping more than an hour.

Once the dust settled we never could get back to that happy place. I think it was just the inevitability of the infatuation wearing off. My wife was like the third or fourth person I had ever dated, the first I had dated seriously, and while I had screwed around with like two or three other chicks, even fucking one, she was the first woman I had a mature sexual relationship with. Obviously all these factors led me to believe this was more than an infatuation.

So to answer Jordon's simple question, yeah, there were good times. A couple years of them, and then fate and reality set back in and brought us to where we are today. I guess in some ways depression is a more normal state for me than happiness anyways so things just settled back to normal. Peace.

3 Comments:

Blogger Josie said...

Now I'm depressed!

depression is not a normal state!

12:15 PM

 
Blogger Miami Don said...

Wellbutrin and a divorce will make for a happier Waffles.

1:19 PM

 
Blogger Josie said...

Listen to Miami Don!

@Don, Hi Baby!

3:57 PM

 

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