Monday, June 07, 2010

How Stella Got Her Groove

My day has been suck. Not too bad right now though. Just hectic emergency stuff. I have decided to impart my most awesome poker knowledge for all you n00bs.

First of all you may ask "Hey Waffles, you are break even, why should we listen to you?". Fuck ya. You should listen to me. First off I have stunning testimonials from other players.

Secondly everyone wants to get schooled by me. I can not tell you how many times I have just been sitting around and major successful players have come up to me and said "Hey Waffles, Come to our cash table and teach us how to play.". I mean WSOP bracelet winners, inventors, writers, all kinds of very, very smart poker players trying to learn how to play with the best.

Third. The only reason I am break even at poker is because of luck. If I even had bad luck I would be millions in the black. That's Accountant speak just for you Josie. If I had your luck. Yeah you. The one reading this. I would be rich beyond belief. For some reason though I have been cursed with infernal luck. I swear sometimes I am playing and I can see god on his cloud just saying "How can I fuck with Waffles today".. then I hear thunder outside. Everyone knows gods laughter is the thunder.

Fourth and last point. I used to try and teach my readers how to be winners. I then became very discouraged about their chances. I am however now renewing my quest to help people out and improve my karma.

So if you apply my skill with your luck you will have much success. I now need to run and catch my train so Part 1 of my Article:How to Succeed in 6-Max STTs will be published later tonight or tomorrow. Tune in for your chance to make millions of dollars.

7 Comments:

Blogger lightning36 said...

Ooh -- sign me up! lol

Some testimonial. I can only imagine what she is getting in return ...

On a serious note -- you have uncovered the key in amassing a huge stack in those donkathons. Learn what to do with the stack in the late stages and you might become dangerous.

3:13 PM

 
Blogger Memphis MOJO said...

Do I have to send money or anything?

3:57 PM

 
Blogger Damian said...

This should be good... :)

4:28 PM

 
Blogger Josie said...

Damian...you're commenting on Waffles blog too???? Did I get my australian reader FROM WAFFLES?

Waffles - I'm a believer. Sign me up baby. You do know what the fuck you're talking about. Didn't realize that till about a week ago. :) It'll take lightning YEARS to figure that out.

7:08 PM

 
Blogger Loretta8 said...

Personally, I preferred How Stella Got Her Fudge Packed

7:28 PM

 
Blogger Josie said...

Hmmm Loretta's an idea man!

4:58 AM

 
Blogger Thorn said...

Waffles poker wisdoms!

Gimme. I want to see more of your insane mind lol.

6:52 AM

 

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