Tuesday, May 25, 2010

King of the Elves

Poker still sucks. I keep wondering much like some other bloggers why poker is not fun. It is entirely because my opponents are coin flipping dick weasels. Point in case. The game is 180 peep SNG. I have a 4k stack. I look down and see KJ s00ted. Not the best hand but I am in position and it is reasonable. I jam my stack in. I really want to double up here but the blinds are alright too. My opponent has a 10K stack. So this is a SIGNIFICANT call here. Not a world ending call but one with some effect. So the genius thinks until his time bank is almost down and then calls. With the almighty. Monstar! Q3. I am shitting you not. He is a fucking genius though. Because a 3 binks on the flop and a Queen binks on the turn. The jack on the river is just to really piss me off.

Some of you might say "Hey higher level players haz more skill!". No. Not really.

VeryJosie has a funny post about her sister meat puppet or something. I dunno. I thought it was kind of funny. We just had an Asian intern start. It is kind of funny some of the cultural differences. For instance I guess his name is really hard to pronounce so he says to call him Aubrey. Of Teutonic origin, "Aubrey" means "Fair Ruler of the Little People", or "King of the Elves". The name is traditionally male, but is also used as a feminine name in the United States. Should someone tell him he is using a fairy girl name? King of the Faries? Should I just send him to East Boston? Fucker needs a dentist too or at least a sand grinder. Least they are pearly white. I am so going to hell.

Women have brain damage. Wife get's into a fight with her boyfriend this morning. I KNOW with 100% certainty this is going to lead to me getting yelled at. It is because women have a fucking wire loose. It's like the targeting wire. You should be yelling at your dickhead boyfriend NOT ME. Fucking cunt bag. It is HIM you are mad at. You are also mad at me but that is normal and if you were not mad at him you would keep your fucking pie hole shut. Shit I should call his wife up and yell at her. Might as well get the Trifecta in. Fucking daft bitches.

Does she not know that she just needs to suck dick and keep quiet until AFTER she moves in with him? I mean do not show him what a bitch you are. FML.

Big shoutout to my man MiamiDon. He comes out as a big dumb frat boy when you first meet him but there is some real depth to the guy. Thanks for everything man! I really appreciate it. Don is a really smart guy and has a wealth of experiences. It is also cool that he has been uniballin bitches since 1979! BOOM!

I spent yesterday at home mostly just sleeping all day. Partly because my fucktard wife just does not get it. All I ask is she yell down after her shower so I can come up and get ready. Instead she is all like "It's not my responsibility". Well whenever I come up your fucking hogging the shower at different times so maybe it should be. Bottom line though. You make fucking nothing with your stupid Ivy League degree. So your number one concern should be getting me a ride to work not fucking taking off at 7:20 because I am not up. See women are fucking stupid. Glad to see I am cheery today.

DISCLAIMER: If I have any chance of getting into your pants obviously I am talking about the OTHER women not you when I write this. You are obviously a very good woman. It says so right on your blog so it must be true.

9 Comments:

Blogger Josie said...

I gotta say, although that Q-3 call was HORRIBLE, the K-J shove was nothing spectacular either! :P

Very funny post today! See all we need is the wifey to yell at you and we get a good post. I'm calling her tonight to remind her. :)

7:41 AM

 
Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

I think I miss something in valuing my smallish stack on the bubble concept.. but jamming KJ in late position is not a horrible play.. albeit maybe better against a much shorter stack.. calling a jam with KJ would be bad with my stack size. Jamming it in position is alright. Calling with Q3 for the fuck of it is horrible unless you have like 30K chips or some monster stack.

7:48 AM

 
Blogger Josie said...

You cannot control what a donk is going to do. You can only control what you are going to do. Shoving all in with K-J on the bubble when you aren't that shortstacked isn't horrible but isn't the best move either.

So what if he's an idiot - you need to concentrate on making YOUR moves the best ones. IMO of course.

When I lose like that I never think, "what a donk" (I really dont) I think "How could I have played that to get a better outcome?" Just my 2 cents. There's no poker talk on my post today, so I gotta get my fix here.

Talk at my post is how I'm so much like Lightning's wife *gag*

8:44 AM

 
Blogger Josie said...

*gag* was meant:

1. as an insult to lightning, not his lovely wife.

2. in no way imitates a sound that a wife of lightning's would make. lolllll I should really "think before I comment".

8:54 AM

 
Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Well if my KJ holds against an inferior hand then I have a good stack to make a run for a top 3 spot. I need more chips but at least I am not too low. Eight off the bubble sure I can fold to the 18th pay spot. Not really what I am interested in doing. If I had shoved Aces I get the same result anyways.

I like making fun of lightning we should start a blog Lightning-Sucks.

9:33 AM

 
Blogger Josie said...

I'm in!

10:51 AM

 
Blogger Bayne_S said...

title of new blog should be "Lightning Folds"

11:37 AM

 
Blogger Bayne_S said...

If you had gotten off your ass and bought a car wife not waking you would not be a problem!

I think this adheres to my stfu comment 2 WEEKS ago

3:59 PM

 
Blogger Loretta8 said...

seems highly unlikely shoving KJ from late position could ever be that bad

5:16 PM

 

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