I took a nice walk today. I was walking through the commons and there were little baby ducks. These little buggers were diving under water and getting something to eat. It was pretty cool. They would submerge all the way then pop back up to the top. So I strangled them. Nooooo no. Just kidding. I liked them. Almost more than the college students sun bathing.
Since I am in such a good mood I thought I would clear up some misconceptions people have about poker and how the game is played. I will start with some common poker terms and explain where the misconceptions come from and what they really mean.
Term: Pot Committed
Misconception: No Buddy Dank this is NOT your dedication to Mary Jane. I can see why your stoner brain might think that but we are NOT talking about drugs here. HEY! Stop eating those Cheetos and pay attention!
Fact: Pot Committed is a term that morons came up with to totally absolve themselves from moronic plays. It refers to having fucked up so badly that folding now would be even a bigger fuckup. If you have committed too many of your chips on your chump move then you yell "POT COMMITTED" and fall on your sword. A lot of people seem to become pot committed as soon as they raise one big blind. You are doing it wrong.
Term: Fold Equity
Misconception: When Lightning's wife tells him to stop making her a sammich in the kitchen and get to folding her granny panties. Lightning thinks to himself and figures it is better that he get folding then his wife beat the crap out of him.
Fact: Fold Equity is another donkey crutch. It allows people to justify the horrible plays they make. Shit if I just shove all my chips in to that EP raiser I have so many chips that he has to fold. I have fold equity. I can force someone to fold. It is probably best to use another donkey term to figure out if you REALLY have fold equity. This is the RANGE.
Fact: This is another donkey crutch. The math nerds love this one. The donkeys love it too. Basically what donkeys do is say "Oh yeah, your range was [insert something I can beat here] so that is why I made that terrible call". If your a math nerd it gets even better. You can say that the average person in that spot has this fixed range. You can ignore everything about how the person has been playing and what your eyes tell you and say "It's math!". If you have mad skillz like me you KNOW what your opponent has so you can make much better decisions. Leave the ranges to the donkeys and the math nerds. Seriously though it is good to THINK about what your opponent has and not just about what is in your hand. See how often you are right and this may show you how good of a player you are.
Term: Waffles Bust Equity
Fact: There are no misconceptions about this. It is fucking fun to bust me. Just admit it. Always +EV. Everyone takes HUGE shots at me. Normally my bad Karma makes these pay off so keep it up. Busting me is a lot of fun! You may not have a lot of chances after the BBT5 is over so get em while they're hot!
New Term: Hoy Logic
Fact: This is just the stupidest shit anyone can say. Like today when he basically said OSU is a shoe in for a seat. That is total bullshit. Look I respect OSU. He is playing a mean game AND he is running REALLY hot. Could this lead to a seat? Sure. Does it anoint him as the defacto winner? No fucking way. He could EASILY crap out first. It's just the nature of poker. Fuzzy math like Hoys is stupid.