Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Not So Bad

Well seems like most of the credit crap was not in my SSN so I should be spared the evil stick from the credit bureaus. It is still pretty lame that companies like Comcast and Verizon allow people to signup for shit without checking anything out.

She is still sitting in jail for the bench warrants. Apparently she has to wait in jail for 30 days until her trial. Not sure what is going to happen with her kid. My mother is looking after him for now but who knows. Honestly I think he would be better off with someone else.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Fucking Great

I have spoken a lot about my sister on this site and she is at it again. Today in the mail I received around twenty verifications for credit in my name and a name that is not my wife's. I found out that my sister has been putting all her bills in my name and who the hell knows what else. Not really what I need right now since apartments and car places do credit checks.

She is now sitting in jail for some other bench warrant's that I had nothing to do with. I am going to press charges on her for fraud as soon as I figure out the things she has done.. so it looks likely that she may spend some time in prison. She has been in a cell since Thursday. I really hate my family and feel a little sad for my sister.

The wife and I sat down to talk a little today and I was like "If I give you like 50% of my income and you have your job will that work?".. I came up with this number as a fixed 4k for the kids by MA formula and 1K for her. In my state they really have no guidelines. I asked this mainly because I know it will not and the main reason I have avoided divorce up until this time is because I am not really sure I can afford it.

One of the things I hate about my wife is her near sightedness. She looks and see's that something needs to get done but does not look at the details. Like how to pay for the house or other things. This has gotten us into trouble in the past. Anyways we are going to probably talk to a mediator and see what we can come up with.

I really do not want the kids to move for a lot of reason. I had to deal with moving around as a kid and it sucks. I was not as bad as an Army brat but the three times we moved all sucked. So the less I can upset their lives the better. On the other side I am not moving to Worcester so I can support my wife forever. I might as well have stuck with plan #1 and stayed with her until the kids were 18 if I was going to do that.

So anyway life is pretty weird right now. Hopefully things will work themselves out and we can get on with our lives.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

My Other Type of Girl

I was checking out PC prices today.. Not for the kiddos systems but for big daddies game and porn system. I was pretty impressed by some of the stuff. Since it has been years since I have build my own.

HDD: Samsung 1TB $89.99

One terrabyte of storage for 89$! Wow! That is pretty freaking crazy. I remember the day when we had 1MB of storage and were happy about it. It costs us a thousand bucks too.

So if I was to build my own I would probably go for something like this.

CPU: e8400 $164.99
MoBo: MSI P45 Neo3-FR $109.99
GPU: GTX 280 (with a copy of CoD:WoW) $289.99
RAM: OCZ Platinum 4GB(PC2 8500) 59.99
Drive: Sony Optiarc DVD/RW $26.99
HDD: Samsung 1TB $89.99

Cost me around 1K with monitor, speakers, keyboard, etc., etc..

But this baby is only about 1200, and someone else builds it. Will have to make sure it does not have some weirdo Brit power supply:

* Microsoft Windows Vista Home Premium
* Intel Core 4 Quad Q9550 Processor
* 4096MB Corsair DDR II Memory
* 1000GB SATA II Seagate Ultra Fast Hard Disk Space
* ATI Radeon HD 4870 PCI Express Graphics Card
* NEC 7200 Multi Format DVD/CD ReWriter
* Intel Deluxe Motherboard
* Multi Format Memory Card Reader
* 10/100/1000 Ethernet LAN
* 5.1 High Definition Surround Sound
* 12 x USB2 Ports
* Firewire
* 12 Month Classic Warranty
* Microsoft Office 60 Day Trial
* Microsoft Windows Live Essentials

Or if I wanted to go cheaper which I totally could.

* Microsoft Windows Vista Home Premium
* Intel Core 2 Duo E8500 Processor
* 4096MB Corsair DDR II Memory
* 750GB SATA II Seagate Ultra Fast Hard Disk Space
* NEC 7200 Multi Format DVD/CD ReWriter
* ATI Radeon 4850 Performance Graphics
* 5.1 High Definition Surround Sound
* Intel Deluxe Motherboard
* Multi Format Memory Card Reader
* 10/100 Ethernet LAN
* 12 x USB2 Ports
* Firewire
* 12 Month Classic Warranty
* Microsoft Office 60 Day Trial
* Microsoft Windows Live Essentials

Which is essentially the same thing just no quad processor and slightly less Graphics card, HD, etc.. nothing that will kill me though.

The wife and daughter are going to get stuck with something like a Compaq, Gateway or HP. The boy is a tossup. Not sure I can convince him to get a desktop. If I could then I would hook him up with a nice one like mine. Otherwise I just will get a Compaq with a better video card than the ladies. The wife and daughter only surf the net and play no video intensive games so they do not need great machines. Just something reliable and decent.

My Kind of Girl

Kimberley says i had a wet dream about you last night, you got ran over by a bus an i pissed myself laughing!!


Sucko and LJ are a perfect couple. They both like putting their entire stacks in with A4o. Nuff said. Haha. To be fair to Sucko he had every right to think he was ahead of my draw. Fun times though.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

A Clash of Kings

I am really loving these books. Mucho thanks to The Wife. I will have to give her a "thank-you" ass grab next time I see her. Ok, ok, I just want to grope her fine behind so sue me. Seriously though these books are a fun read. Every day almost I have someone come up to me and say "OMG! Your reading those books! I hate those books!".

I think it comes down to the fact that we can not stand books that have any kind of realistic side to them. We want the whole midget finds ring and defeats great evil power love love feel good story. While I am a big fan of midget heroes like Iggy, I also am a HUGE fan of realistic stories. I love when you kill my favorite character. Not because I wanted them to die but because you did your job, you were a good enough writer to make me love this fake person, and then you had the balls to destroy them and make me sad. I find it very refreshing. Movies are the same way. ET always has to go home instead of getting his ass cut up on the operating table. Fantasy is good, and a little cold reality is good too, it is nice to have a mix of things to enjoy.

Good Guy

See Heffmike is a good guy. He gets that as much as I call people moronic idiots I do not mean it personally.

I actually think things like Pokerstove can be useful BUT I find it difficult to beleive that such an objective tool should be used to validate a play you made in a game after the fact. My problem with it is so much of what it says depends on what you THINK the players range is. The accuracy of what your opinion of their range might be is highly dependent on your skill in reading people. I normally can narrow someone down to two or three hands and I am usually correct. Other people always think that their opponent has this hugely wide range and mostly are wrong. Putting someone on a range of hands post game with the bias of knowing what they actually had just somehow seems wrong.

Waffleizing the Pirate Shizzle

My good friend the Pirate Whiner asked me to take a look at his rant. I gave it a fail grade but agreed to Waffleize it. I will be more than willing to help any of you with this service. Here is my conversion.

Play With Retards Get Smacked in the Face with Their Dummy Sword

I was fucking amazed at the totally retarded play so far. Even more amazing was the fact that I actually managed to avoid a total riddonkulous beat by one of these fucktards and kept a top ten stack for most of the night.

Then two things happened to change all of that. First off I flopped a nut flush and some retarded asshole with two pairs thought that they were good. On a fucking all flush board. With me goddamn capping you. Are you fucking serious? I mean cmon. Of course the poker gods favor the brain dead and he spiked a boat on the river costing me a ton of my chips.

Next up I played my favorite hand the ever tricky 85 s00ted. I three bet it pre-flop to disguise the strength of the hand against my opponent so that when I flopped big I could take him to value town. The flop was a fucking monster. 877. I do not think the hand could have hit me any harder. I knew Heffadonk was fucking bluffing his ass off because he wouldn't know a good hand if it came up and bit his tiny little dick off. So I capped my monster hand and got ready to rake a huge pot in. Of course I underestimated the stupidity of my opponent.

I knew I must be way ahead when the donkey check-called the turn. I mean that idiot might as well have been playing with his hands up. Shit he might as well play blindfolded since his decision making is something akin to a retarded baby monkey on acid. The river brings a fucking fourth club and of course I do not have one. I lead out anyways as a blocker bet but Heff the donk calls. Do you know what he had? One guess? I mean he had to have had something strong like JJ or the Ace of clubs right? No this fucking retarded idiot turns over a pair of fours!!! I mean a retarded whore with a first grade education could have folded fours there. What the fuck do you beat? I mean seriously? Even if you do hit your flush it is a baby four flush. What the hell are you trying to do there? I mean I have seen some bad play in my days but this is just ridiculous. It just goes to show how players put no thought into playing hands and just pray for a miracle win.

I guess he might have thought he could represent a big hand and bluff me but like I said earlier this guy would not know a big hand if it came up bloodied his asshole with its giant man tool. It is amazing these people can even chew gum and breath at the same time. I mean are you fucking kidding me? Learn some basic hand reading skills you stupid fuck. Figure out where the fold button is when your bluff is obviously not working. Oh well there is always another torture session during the BBT and I will see you at the next one.

Waffles Funny Stories To Tell JMAN

My son is fascinated by any crazy or retarded story I tell him about my life. Sort of like you losers. So he constantly bugs me for something but I have selective memory. So here is one I just remembered.

I was out partying or something one night and the designated driver took me home. I went up stairs and fell asleep. In the morning I go outside and the guy is there asleep in my driveway. I guess he wanted to catch a few zzz's before heading home. Being the good guy I am I slide up to his window and YELL AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS "OMFG A CAR! WATCHOUT! AHHHHH"... He bolts out of a sound sleep and grabs the wheel in abject horror twisting it in every direction trying to avoid the car. Funny as hell.

The Skillz Game

I have finally figured out why they call it the Skillz game. It takes a ton of skill to play that badly. Really. I mean you could not accidentally play that badly. You would have to hone and refine your skillz over years to get to that point of baditude. I am truly in awe of the skill our community is able to muster.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Stupid blogger series. I am running really bad when I am not playing bad. The first hand of the night I end up with 77444 boat vs quads. I somehow get away from that because Astin makes a small value bet and I just feel like he has me beat. I think my game will improve when I just say fuck it and fold there.

So I am getting low and call an all in bet on the turn with KJ on a Jxx board vs AT. Why this guy jammed I will never understand. He had nothing. So I dodged the Ace on the river there then get involved in another head scratching hand. I raise from EP with my hand. Representing something big. I have mad respect and a shortish stack so I get like 4 callers. Being the ballah I am I pot the flop of AQ7. Represent and you can win. The pot sized bet leaves me with like 600 behind. Obviously no fold equity. However I am representing strong so why not. Retard that jammed his AT jams me again. Now I have to be way behind here but the night had been up and down and like I said I had zero fold equity. So I call with my 53 s000ted bayybeee. The guy turns up his AQ.. BWAHAHAHA This is the Riverfuckers. Obviously he turned up 56 s000ted. Honestly a totally retarded play. I was totally shocked. He did have the flush draw though so I guess that is worth your entire stack as well as 10% of your stack pre-flop. I guess representing hands against total morons is bad poker. So the turn peals off a seven and I am like highly likely to split the pot, save my ass, and make a few hundred chips from the other lame ass folds. The poker gods were cruel last night though and a six peals off on the river. Any non-diamond seven or higher or a three and I am saved and the fucking six comes.

Scott then convinces me to go play HA with him. I told him my luck was horrible and I did not want to play but he bribed me. Eventually we get into this hand where I have the second nut straight with the second nut flush draw heads up against him with the nut straight and the nut flush draw. Seriously fucking nasty cooler HU. At least I think it is but who the fuck knows. I actually was hitting some hot hands in the game but got no action at all. Some of my better hands got totally fucked too like when I had A267 two diamonds and flop comes 349 with two diamonds. Scott calls a pot bet with 49, and turns a four of fucking diamonds of course. I slowed down at the paired board but lost a little. At least I only lost twenty five on the night.

On the political front I was kind of wondering why our country can come up with billions of dollars for war, and trillions of dollars for bailing out business ventures but our schools go to hell and people cry that we have no money to invest in our future. I guess what it really means is rich people who can send their kids to private school decide that public schools are not worth it. No wonder our kids are getting dumber and our innovations are becoming limited to stuffing more porn on our hard drives. Not a very good sign.

See you all tonight at the Skillz.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Waffles On.. The Ecconomy.

Now I am no genius business person like Riggs, hell I barely understand how I have a job. However here is my take on the AIG bonus issue. I have been against corporate bonus payouts since their inception. All across the board these have been structured wrong. Basically it seems to my simple brain that CEO type people design these bonus ideas for other CEO type people. So obviously they have no real incentive to improve the company and basically are just there to make some people rich. If they do happen to have incentives like "If company makes x dollars you get y" then this just deflects the executives attention from what they should be focusing on: building a healthy company, to how they can line their own pockets with gold. I think this ends up leading to things like cutting staff so the numbers look better so they can reach their bonus number but leaves the company with disgruntled workers and unable to keep up with demand. I also think a lot of these golden parachutes really give people incentive to do a shitty job and get a big fat check. Business appears to be stupid to me. That is all.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

To Uniball or Not

I appreciate all the comments but you really should congratulate me. Either that or offer me a conciliatory blow job (No not you Sucko! Only women!). I mean being miserable in an unhappy marriage where both people know it is over but can not pull the trigger is no fun. Sleeping on the couch causes neck cricks too. So really this will be a happy time while sort of weird. Also nothing big is going to happen for a little while. Like I said we want to plan this out and do it right. I think like at least three to six months before I even move out and tell the kids and all of those things. Possibly shorter but who knows.

So I figure I will start a series on the plans after the divorce. Might as well look forward to something right. Now the first question will be: To Uniball or not to Uniball. What does this mean. Well the first statement out of a certain bloggers mouth (not Don) was "So now you can buy a hooker and get laid!".. Since MiamiDon gets a bad rap from his escort service ways we can call this Uniballing. Other uses of the word can also be made such as Ballah poker play and stuff like that. However for the purposes of this post we are talking about whoring it up.

I have often contemplated if I would take an option like this. On the one hand there is a nasty side of me that would love this. I would so enjoy making some chick bark like a dog or do whatever else the fuck I told her to do. I mean that is such a power trip. Who would not like that?

On the other hand I tend to try and be a good guy in general and think most of these chicks are really broken. Either bad childhoods with abuse or huge drug problems. Am I wrong about that? No idea. I think I am right though. So it seems to me I would be further abusing and taking advantage of these people. I guess some people might be normal, well rounded, business ladies but the majority have to have something wrong with them right? My girl CJ seems normal (She is an awesome read if you do not have Happy Endingz on your Bloglines put it there). Of course if they are fucked up anyways why not right? Someone is gonna do it? Why not me? The slippery slope between morality and getting your rocks off. Am I just old fashion? Such challenging questions.

The biggest issue though besides all the good Waffles vs Bad Waffles is: What if she rejects me?

Going Green

I commute in a green fashion like a granola eating hippy. I do this because I hate driving not because of any save the planet bullshit. I find it very difficult to commute however. My two options consist of the following.

First I can take the Green Line. Normally besides the 500 stops on the way into Boston this is pretty pleasant. However it is also very uncomfortable. Normally I have to stand for forty five minutes. While this is probably good exercise for my Mr. Potato head body it is not very comfortable. Add to this the days when they cram a zillion people in and I have to actually touch people *gasp* and it becomes very annoying. Leaving town on the Green Line at any point normally consists of waiting for 5-6 trains to pass until I can finally squeeze into one. While it is not as bad as this it is still retarded.

The other option I have pisses me off to no end. It is called Back Bay Station. Now for years people have complained about this shit storm of a station and have been told that things are fine. I have a different opinion. For my monthly payments to the MBTA I get to enjoy having smoke pumped into my lungs from this piece of shit unventilated station. I mean how fucking hard is it to stop smoke from infusing the entire platform.. and I do not mean the downstairs one. The entire upstairs of the station ends up choking the hell out of me. I can not imagine this is healthy for anyone.

I also have the same issue of not being able to find a seat most of the time on the outbound run. To make my ride even more enjoyable though the train gets to smell like fucking piss. I mean I am not sure how the piss smell gets so bad. I think I could drop my pants in the middle of the train and piss on the Asian chick next to me and it STILL would not smell as bad as it does. I mean what are these people doing in there? Is train piss a feature of this mode of transportation? Do people not know how to piss? I am at a loss.

So while I continue to subject myself to the horrors of Green commuting I do not enjoy it at all. Perhaps the real solution is Soylent Green?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Tough Bustout

AK vs 99 on a AA9 flop. I turned a nut flush redraw which I guess does not effect the hand but that is hard to get away from especially against an aggressive player like TBA. Oh well.

The End is Near

Looks like the day that all my female blog readers have dreaded is coming. Soon I shall be single. I think saying that here and other places makes it kind of sink in. On the good side the wife and I get along well enough. We will work together and do this the right way. No scumbags involved until the very end and only for finalizing things.

It is probably for the best. I was ready to suffer for the next twelve years or so until the kids were ready for college but her idea is probably better. We really were more infatuated with each other than in love. We also are very stubborn and never really merged together. We always had issues compromising on things which is bad. The world sort of conspired against us too as the first 2-3 years of our marriage was full of new kids, dead parents, and all kinds of things that conspired to keep us from spending any time ourselves. I do not think this divorce will go very fast. We have a lot of things to figure out but I assume in another six months or so I could easily be living La Vita Loca.

It does feel weird though. I mean someone you have spent every day with for ten years will suddenly not be there. Wrapping your head around that is weird. I will keep you all posted though.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Skillz Recap

Maniac57: hope your dog dies of aids from you

I am a sicko

This made me chuckle.

Monday, March 16, 2009


blah. Got in deep with KK vs 77 on a ep raise by 77, I re-raise pot, he jams his sevens and of course I lose. Doubled up next hand. Then jammed 95 in the SB vs BB and flopped a 9, lost on the turn ten to ATo. I really hate 2 outers. Also Kings. To be fair I donked out on him earlier when I jammed 78 s00ted against his EP limped jacks. Both hands I think he played horribly. The 78 hand was me getting a little short and deciding I would double up so I could play or leave. My hand at least had draw potential where he was searching for all of two cards. The earlier bad play probably setup my 70% chance to be a top five stack deep. Oh well that is poker.

Facebook is Mean

dont eat 2 much..coz u look Mr.patato hhehehe
-- Lisa, My Malaysian Maffia Wars Friend


I was talking to my boy JJ of the Ghey Blow and asked him "Why are you interested in Politics?". I mean personally I find it stupid. I do not feel like either "side" does anything useful. Our votes do not change a thing. Fuck I am not even sure what I should hope changes. Do you people find Politics interesting? Do you think your vote matters and makes any kind of difference or are you just a worthless cog in the wheel who does not really get any say in what happens. Opinions?

Friday, March 13, 2009

Hoyazo is a Cunt

I got nothing else. See you all on Sunday for the Brit game.

Thursday, March 12, 2009


Had a fun time in the Mookie. Went deep. I promised Mookie that I would jam his hand whenever I got it, so when Smokkee jammed his piddly stack in the EP, and I rejammed, I was pretty happy to be up against AK. Unfortunately luck was not on my side and between that hand and a crappy T2 diamonds I had to shove with I ended up out right near the points bubble. No worries though. I think I needed a night where I just took this whole thing as a big game. Sometimes you get in as a big favorite and lose, and sometimes you get in as a dog and win. Next game up is on Sunday. I feel like I am playing well and expect the results to flow. See you then.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

PLO Sucks My Balls

I got in as a minor favorite at 58% to 41% after the flop. Stupid fuck raises me all in with an OESD on a two flush board with him having none of the flush cards. I obviously was ahead and had a bunch of his outs but he hits one of his miracle six outs for the win. I fucking hate NLHE enough with its 2-card combo ways of fucking me but PLO has 4-card combo ways of fucking me which makes my asshole exponentially more sore.

I guess my real problem with my opponents play is when someone shows that much strength post flop it is not like your jam is going to make them fold. If you do jam with six outs your just a retard. Period. End of story. I mean you bet out, you get raised big, then you decide to shove your stack in as a dog. Good job.

I also received this bad beat this morning. I eat here fairly often. At least it is not as bad as a few years ago when I would become violently ill after eating their food. Luckily I am bringing lunch more often.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Random Ramblings

Yesterday I went and bought myself a Dungeon Masters Guide, Players Handbook and a started kit with some dice. Ages 12+. Nice to see being forty has not changed me at all. I actually have an ulterior business motive for doing this but I felt like a naughty little geek.

Did you know you can find 129 pictures of the lovely Maggie online? Is the internet not a place of wonders and marvels. I will never stop being amazed and amused by this digital land. I still miss my green hacker command prompt though.

I was thinking of doing a series of old postings of wisdom or something.. like, you know you are old when your stomach grumbles and your ass farts, and then three days later you poop. I do not think I have the motivation to do this though.

Oh yeah.. I was just reminded that as a March birthday boy that I was born under the sign of the fish.. Pisces baby all the way. How appropriate.

See you all at the Skillz tonight.


Went out pretty early in this hand. I felt my opponent had a good hand I just was not positive he had a better hand than I did. The hand was QQ vs KK. I saw the flop of 887. He stayed aggressive. I felt it was possible he had a higher pair but it was too difficult for me to let it go there. I could easily have dropped the hand and still had a nice stack. I knew my opponent had a strong hand. I think he also would have overplayed a hand like JJ in that position too so I am not too crushed by my play. If it was someone like Astin I might have folded pre-flop. I did respect this persons bets though and his re-raise of my initial raise threw up some warning flags. Perhaps next time I will let it go. Who knows. I really should have been gone a lot earlier but Blaaaargg folded AJ in this hand..

Full Tilt Poker Game #11057295951: PPI / Riverchasers Tournament (82290086), Table 2 - 20/40 - No Limit Hold'em - 22:12:17 ET - 2009/03/09
Seat 1: dueyv9 (2,895)
Seat 2: 125Will (2,610)
Seat 3: Yikes_1 (3,100)
Seat 4: Tony Eusebio (2,360)
Seat 5: blaargh86 (3,170)
Seat 7: Roberto55 (2,910)
Seat 8: hoyazo (3,890)
Seat 9: Maniac57 (3,065)
Maniac57 posts the small blind of 20
dueyv9 posts the big blind of 40
The button is in seat #8
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Maniac57 [Ad Td]
125Will folds
Yikes_1 folds
Tony Eusebio folds
blaargh86 raises to 120
Roberto55 folds
hoyazo folds
Maniac57 calls 100
dueyv9 folds
*** FLOP *** [Jh 8s Th]
Maniac57 checks
blaargh86 bets 220
Maniac57 calls 220
*** TURN *** [Jh 8s Th] [As]
Maniac57 checks
blaargh86 bets 500
Maniac57 raises to 2,220
blaargh86 has 15 seconds left to act
blaargh86 has requested TIME
Maniac57: blaarrg fold now
blaargh86: crap
blaargh86 folds
Uncalled bet of 1,720 returned to Maniac57
Maniac57 mucks
Maniac57 wins the pot (1,720)
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 1,720 | Rake 0
Board: [Jh 8s Th As]
Seat 1: dueyv9 (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 2: 125Will didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: Yikes_1 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: Tony Eusebio didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: blaargh86 folded on the Turn
Seat 7: Roberto55 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 8: hoyazo (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 9: Maniac57 (small blind) collected (1,720), mucked

Sick fold by Blaarrrgg. Way too much respect there. Heh. Apparently Full Tilt was out to get me with setup hand last night. Oh well. See you all at the skillz.

Friday, March 06, 2009

Stupid Poker Bloggers

Look I know you can not write so you feel you need to put naked chick pictures on your blog. I know the other half of you poker Bloggers are more desperate than me so need to post these pictures. Normally do not give a fuck and love a naked woman in the morning but I try and read all of you at work and this is not good. How about like linking to the pics instead of embedding them? Would that work? Thanks, Ghey Dad Waffles

T-3 Days Until I hit Forty. Good thing I am already a grumpy old man. Got it down pact.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

PLO8 Fun

I decided to play a little poker on Bodog tonight. I tried a little PLO8. Lost a few bucks but it was a fun game. Not sure if being looser but folding more or being really tight is best. Seeing as my best hand of the night had a 94 for the win I might lean towards more hands...

Waffles Presents: Real Men of Genius

(Real men of Genius)
Today we salute you. Mr. Whipped then Snipped Vasectomy Patient
(Mr. Whipped then Snipped Vasectomy Patient)
Having all desire to live leeched out of you by your wives you finally give up your precious balls
(Bye Bye Little Buddies)
Hanging out with your friends pretending to be a man when you really know your nothing but a Eunuch
(Sissy Boy Eunuch!)
Sitting on the toilet to pee, wondering where your boys have gone, you try and figure out how you got to this point
(She used to give Blow Jobs)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Pansy Boy. 'Cause we all know, that your wife is watching your balls jingle on her bracelet while fucking the real man next door
(Mr. Whipped then Snipped Vasectomy Patient)

Mook Day

I played the Mookie. It was fun. The End. Hah. It was really an unremarkable game for the most part. I went through a stretch at the end where I could only play 3 of 73 hands. This sucked. What can you do though? I was getting dealt 34o and 83o hand after hand with raises in front of me. I am all for stealing and re-stealing but not with that crap and the aggressive table I was at. Even when I got hand that looked like gold after that long and raised that KTo Chad snapped me off and re-raised all in with some 97o crap hand. I thought he was making a move but let him have it.

Long after Chad was gone I got to the point that made the game for me. Three hands in a row. I was down to ten blinds and resigned to jam something when I got a very weakish AT. I pulled my ball sack down from my stomach and jammed it all in only to inevitably be called by ActPyr and his AK. Of course the T on the flop and river made that work out. Now with the donkish rep I get AA. SmBoat raise, short stack jams, and I re-jam. After thinking for a bit SmBoat decides to call all in. I ended up being against something like QQ and SmBoat's 56o. At least make it s00ted donk! So now I am sitting on 25k and on the CO. I do ActPyr a final disservice by raising AQ for 3K into his tiny 5K stack. When he jams I am of course pot committed and have to call. He flips over KK and promptly gets rivered to end his night. Brutal man.

So with two far behind hands and a pair of aces I have a nice stack going into the final table. I was a top four. The final table was pretty tight. I think we lost one person in the first hour. Finally I got tired of IT raising crap on my blind and re-jammed him. I had about ten blinds left and had a weak K8c. He unfortunately had just enough of a hand to call with a pair of snowmen. Even though I flopped two crubs I am no BWOP and went out on the hand. I probably do that again against IT since his range is really wide in that spot. Although I could have also folded and probably moved up a spot or two.

All in all I think I did the right moves at the right times and got pretty lucky on a few hands. I would not have played those hands any differently. In those situations I was in a spot where I needed to make those moves. The luck in poker is such a joke sometimes. Drives me crazy. However you just have to roll with the punches and hope it goes your way sometimes.

So far I have started the BBT pretty well. In the first five games I have hit the points twice and the money once. I am probably somewhere in the twenties as far as points go. I think I have played a good game in every one of them except the Riverchasers. I look forward to getting a good steam going and really trying to make a splash in this thing. I am going to enjoy the few days off before the Brit invasion and possibly play a little a Bodog. However I am going to keep a light schedule during the BBT to avoid burnout. Good luck to everyone.

Holy shit I just read that BoneDaddy won! No fucking way!!! I think that is great. He is a good guy and after some of the screwjobs he got last night it is AMAZING he was able to pull it off. Also it is pretty wild that Tragedy blew such a huge fucking lead. What a donk.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

New Blog

Iaatg who you have probably seen do well in some of the blogger games before the BBT started has finally caved and started a blog. He writes like a crack tweaker on a binge but he has just started so give him a try. I have not decided if he has any poker skillz yet. I do believe I have called him names in the past though so I might as well pimp his blog.

Skillz Game

I came close to the points in this one. It started off rocky when I caught trips on fifth and BuddyDonkey was showing KK on his board.. So when he lead out I raised him. Now this would be a sign for anyone who had a brain that KK is not good but not for Buddy.. Nope, his stoner lifestyle has lead to zero brain cells left which caused him to call and of course hit his one outer on 6th street. He then proceeds to fuck my rolled up eights with some bullshit gutterball hand. The worse part about all of this is HE IS NOT THE STUPIDEST PERSON I HAVE PLAYED IN THE BBT!

I kept plugging at it and had a nice stack of around 6k with around 30 people left.. but I missed some big draws or would start a hand with 234 and hit two face cards. It was a little frustrating. I finally went out when a guy was bluffing that he had a queen.. He then proceeded to catch said bluff queen on fifth street and catch a set of said queens on sixth street to beat my two pair.

Tonight the retarded gather at the Mookie. Be prepared to see shoved with the almighty tourist and guys who can not believe that their ducks could ever be beaten pre-flop. Long live the BBT!

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Thank You Mr Friends

I know it is hard to believe but sometimes I have to ship in the hatred. I just do not feel it as much some days. Thank you all for letting me call you morons and really, truly, mean it with all my heart. This blog is nothing without you. I love the BBT!!!!

Bad Beat

Falling asleep at 9:00 because I am old is a very bad beat. Ug. I woke up at 3AM to see a blue full tilt screen and thought for a moment I folded to the final table alas I ended up 37th. Sick. Tonight assuming my geriatric ass is able to stay up will be the Skillz game. I will post a state of the BBT4 at the end of the week but all I can say so far is at least I got a few points so far and I am playing fantastic.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Poker the Game of Skill

I played about two hands in the big game. Here I just about owned someone as much as possible. I think I could have folded the river instead of jamming since I pretty much knew he hit whatever he was drawing to.. I put him on something like TT-QQ, and then possibly some draw on the turn. Which was pretty dead on. The problem with the river is I know TJ is a decent player and if I check to him I have to make a hard choice because he is going to bet huge just because checking is so weak. I could have bet less but he is raising me anyways. So sort of a frustrated jam possibly but its a hard spot. I think the rest of the hand to the turn I had TJ exactly where I wanted him. His cold calls instead of raises tells me he was pretty sure he was beat but prayed that he might be ahead. I know the feeling. I have done that myself before but it is bad and usually gets me in trouble. So I called TJ a fukkin idiot more out of frustrating than him being an idiot and apologized later.

Full Tilt Poker Game #10915589606: Blogger Big Game (81289088), Table 5 - 20/40 - No Limit Hold'em - 21:41:31 ET - 2009/03/01
TuscaloosaJohn: played that hand all kinds of awful from this seat
Seat 1: Rake Feeder (4,770)
Seat 2: Roberto55 (5,275)
Seat 3: sellthekids (5,185)
Seat 4: nzgreen (3,990)
Seat 5: TuscaloosaJohn (4,840)
Seat 6: Maniac57 (5,400)
Seat 7: sophie2002 (4,820)
Seat 9: smokkee (5,720)
Maniac57 posts the small blind of 20
sophie2002 posts the big blind of 40
The button is in seat #5
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Maniac57 [Kc Kd]
smokkee folds
Rake Feeder folds
Roberto55 folds
sellthekids raises to 140
nzgreen folds
TuscaloosaJohn calls 140
Maniac57 calls 120
sophie2002 folds
*** FLOP *** [9c 2s 7d]
Maniac57 checks
sellthekids checks
TuscaloosaJohn bets 300
Maniac57 raises to 900
sellthekids folds
TuscaloosaJohn calls 600
*** TURN *** [9c 2s 7d] [6d]
Maniac57 bets 1,800
TuscaloosaJohn has 15 seconds left to act
TuscaloosaJohn calls 1,800
*** RIVER *** [9c 2s 7d 6d] [8d]
Maniac57 has 15 seconds left to act
Maniac57 bets 2,560, and is all in
TuscaloosaJohn calls 2,000, and is all in
Uncalled bet of 560 returned to Maniac57
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Maniac57 shows [Kc Kd] a pair of Kings
TuscaloosaJohn shows [Th Td] a straight, Ten high
TuscaloosaJohn wins the pot (9,860) with a straight, Ten high
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 9,860 | Rake 0
Board: [9c 2s 7d 6d 8d]
Seat 1: Rake Feeder didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: Roberto55 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: sellthekids folded on the Flop
Seat 4: nzgreen didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: TuscaloosaJohn (button) showed [Th Td] and won (9,860) with a straight, Ten high
Seat 6: Maniac57 (small blind) showed [Kc Kd] and lost with a pair of Kings
Seat 7: sophie2002 (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 9: smokkee didn't bet (folded)

With 500 chips left I have to jam or fold. I thought sellthekids MIGHT have a good Ace but I felt I had to gamble. I saw him turn over A7 and I was extremely happy looking to have some chips to work with. Of course the Skill of poker defeated me again. Lot of fun.

Full Tilt Poker Game #10916056850: Blogger Big Game (81289088), Table 5 - 30/60 - No Limit Hold'em - 22:08:33 ET - 2009/03/01
Seat 1: Rake Feeder (5,865)
Seat 2: Roberto55 (6,010)
Seat 3: sellthekids (4,690)
Seat 4: nzgreen (3,840)
Seat 5: TuscaloosaJohn (10,385)
Seat 6: Maniac57 (525)
Seat 7: sophie2002 (3,675)
Seat 8: ChampSampson (11,031)
ChampSampson posts the small blind of 30
Rake Feeder posts the big blind of 60
The button is in seat #7
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Maniac57 [Qd As]
Roberto55 folds
sellthekids raises to 180
nzgreen folds
TuscaloosaJohn folds
Maniac57 raises to 525, and is all in
sophie2002 folds
ChampSampson folds
Rake Feeder folds
sellthekids calls 345
Maniac57 shows [Qd As]
sellthekids shows [7h Ah]
*** FLOP *** [4s 6c 7d]
sellthekids: nh
*** TURN *** [4s 6c 7d] [Ad]
*** RIVER *** [4s 6c 7d Ad] [8h]
Maniac57: gg
Maniac57 shows a pair of Aces
sellthekids shows two pair, Aces and Sevens
sellthekids wins the pot (1,140) with two pair, Aces and Sevens
Rake Feeder: gg
Maniac57 stands up
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 1,140 | Rake 0
Board: [4s 6c 7d Ad 8h]
Seat 1: Rake Feeder (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 2: Roberto55 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: sellthekids showed [7h Ah] and won (1,140) with two pair, Aces and Sevens
Seat 4: nzgreen didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: TuscaloosaJohn didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: Maniac57 showed [Qd As] and lost with a pair of Aces
Seat 7: sophie2002 (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 8: ChampSampson (small blind) folded before the Flop

So I signed off with a nice "I hope all you inbred rednecks drown in your own drool".. and called it a night. I am actually pretty encouraged by the games so far. I signed up for the wrong Brit Bloggerment but took third for break even. Went deep in the real one and lost a race TT vs AK. I think I played the big game pretty much the best possible. Had two 70% or better chances to make big amounts of chips and the cards just fell the wrong way. Feeling really good about my chances in this thing if I keep playing this well.