To All The Chacko's Ive loved Before
Ok really just for Doc Chacko. OMFG! I had the MOST frustrating fucking night of poker. I played this guy who I just owned. I knew every move he was going to make before he made it. I 4-bet him pre-flop with weak s00ted Aces BECAUSE I knew he had fucking crap. His crap then like hits top pair when I have an over and a flush draw. Of course the money is going in there. Obviously his hand is good to a 4-bet pre and a push on the flop. If it was not and I had a hand like Aces the other Queen he smacked on the turn was good anyways. Fucktard. Worst goddamn hand of the night! The dude has a set of kings vs my 84. I turn the straight because he min-bets pre, and puts out a pussy weak bet on the flop. I then massively overbet as per my gutterball strategy and the fucktard calls and rivers the goddamn boat. I mean fuck! How much of a better spot can I get him in. I so fucking owned him at every step and still I lost 4 out of 5 fucking games.
Finally I quit to play some Stud-8. Know what the worst fucking hand is in Stud-8? TRIPS! I am doing fairly well when I get dealt the death hand. Whenever you get this hand you will lose painfully. TTT. Any fucking rolled up shit is BAD BAD BAD BAD! So I cap it pre-, and cap the fourth and fifth streets. This retard has all high cards and no fucking flush draw at all until fifth street. You know this is going to end badly right? Scumfucker rivers a fucking flush after capping from behind on every goddamn fucking street up until then. I slowed down on sixth and seventh since we were heads up and he finally had the possibility of a flush.
I finally went out on the worst fucking retarded ahole hand of the night. I have a 345 of diamonds and turn a 6 of diamonds. I make my low and a straight for a high. I loose BOTH WAYS to a better six and a fucking flush. OMFG! I capped it pre- and post flop to a FAR inferior hand. SO. FUCKING. SICK. Poker can lick my asshole after I take a shit.
On a better note go play "Where's Waffles" with the lovely Love Elf. Creepy pictures of lightning a bonus.