Thursday, May 07, 2009

Bizzaro Waffles

Holy freaking Christ. I feel like Bizzaro Waffles. You know Bizzaro Superman? He is from another world and he is a bad guy which is a good guy in Bizzaro world. I explained for everyone except Jordon. So the last two weeks I have had several chicks throw themselves at me. It is insane. I mean check this out. This is from a chick I knew when I was 18. We got back in touch through Facebook. So she has seen my picture. I told her I would call her a few times but have kinda blown her off because I am undecided.

5:04pm Marshall so whats a good place in for food and drink
5:06pm Julie nothing really there is the lake we could go and make out


I mean wtf? Then she goes on and tells me that she is going to fuck me until I am sore. I mean whaaa? I never had any chick throw herself at me. I guess one or two got sick of waiting for me to make a move and threw their tits at me.. but that was after a bunch of dates. I swear if I go to this lake she will whip my dick out and suck me off in public. I think I might need to buy a book on STDs so I can recognize the dangerous ones. Weird shit.

10 Comments:

Blogger Instant Tragedy said...

I'd advise you to check the legal eagles (LJ, CK **Herro*** etc)... who would probably advise you not to post this on here till after your divorce is over.

I will try and distract her...

"Attention Wawfuls fans, to your left you will notice a shoplifter being chased by night manager, ScottyMC. This young man will be caught, deep fried in a vat of hot oil and served to our first hundred customers. Just another tasty treat from the gang at Ramblings of a Mad Man"

Peace brother

10:04 PM

 
Blogger KajaPoker said...

I want to commend you one your ability of typing with one hand. Good job.

4:32 AM

 
Blogger HighOnPoker said...

First, why wasn't I listed in IT's list of lawyers. Second, I think I know why...I have no advice for you.

But that said, as you were explaining Bizarro, I was thinking, hehe, silly readers, and then I got a shout out. Pretty sweet. I knew those years of social misfitism would eventually pay off.

As for the STD thing, don't worry about it. It's largely a myth. Most shit can be cured, AIDs is not easily transferable to a man via hetero relations (oral or the vaj), and 1/3 of the country has herpes, so at least if you get it, you'll be part of an elite group.

6:54 AM

 
Blogger DrChako said...

I love when lawyers give medical advice...

My advice? Double wrap yourself and if any sores DO show up, give me a call.

-DrC

PS. Are you sure this isn't Al playing an elaborate Facebook prank?

8:12 AM

 
Blogger Schaubs said...

Facebook prank would be the ultimate... omg.

Having said that... you did say you are seperated right? Is it in writing?

You should get that stuff down on paper so that you can go and bang away...

8:46 AM

 
Blogger Instant Tragedy said...

Highonpokr,

You were mentioned. You are the ETC ;-)

IT

Even Blogger knows I'm back.
Word Verification : de man

roflamo

9:38 AM

 
Blogger Bayne_S said...

Sometimes you have to ask yourself What Would MiamiDon Do?

10:02 AM

 
Blogger BWoP said...

I can't provide any assistance. I am now officially blind.

12:56 PM

 
Blogger lightning36 said...

Wow -- sounds interesting. Please post afterwards. I'd love to hear your take on tranny sex.

10:56 PM

 
Blogger jamyhawk said...

dating women <25 = -EV

dating women >35 = +EV

Your gonna have soooooooooo much fun!!!!

7:29 AM

 

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