Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Fucking Easter

Some people have nice Easters. My Easter went kind of like this. My wife comes downstairs to wake me up at 7AM. She is all up in my face asking if I got her email about taking the Easter Baskets out of the car and hiding them for the kids. I am like what fucking email you stupid cunt. I am grumpy in the morning. So sue me. She tells me Sarah is in tears that the stupid bunny has not come. I quickly run out to the car barefoot and grab the bags. I hide them downstairs where the kids have not been yet. The kids make their way downstairs and start yelling at me for scaring the Easter bunny away with my fugly ass butt stank. So I am like what the fuck? What the hell is that in the corner? I think I see something. They look and see the baskets and all is well. Kids are fucking stupid.

Nevermind the jew has to go get the fucking Easter basket and propagate the great Christian holiday when the Easter Bunny rose from his grave and gave holy Easter Chocolate out to the kids of the world. He said "Eat of my Body, and Broketh off a Piece of his Chocolate Ear for his disciples". Fucking hell.

The rest of the day was better. Talked with mom about my sister being in jail. Blamed her for not ever punishing the kid. Mom says my sister is mentally ill because she can not deal with the fact she sucked as a mother. Mom will try and get sister committed to a mental hospital. Looks like my sisters kid will end up adopted by my mother. Probably better for the kid to go to some foster home. My sister has not even called him since she has been in jail. I feel sorry for the kid but I am not adopting his fat ass.

We ended up playing Soccer and Football out in the yard. That was a lot of fun. I am so fucking out of shape. I think I am getting clumsy in my old age too. I crossed over my body to kick the ball a few times and ended up on my ass. The wife and nanny thought this was funnier than I did. Ok. So I thought it was kind of funny too. The kids had a good time until we started smoking my daughters team so she fell down and quit and then pretended that she broke her leg to get attention. She was crying for like twenty minutes. I totally believe it was all faked. She is a sweet heart anyways.

The boy was totally pissed off at this and the fact the game had to end. We ended up playing some more football later on. He needs to learn to just cut his losses and go with the flow sometimes. He is really stubborn and stays pissed off for a while instead of enjoying the activity that is going on.

Fun times. Fun times.

5 Comments:

Blogger KajaPoker said...

Vintage Waffles. "Kids are fucking stupid." Love it!

9:11 AM

 
Blogger Champ said...

So awesome.

2:47 PM

 
Blogger VinNay said...

"He is really stubborn and stays pissed off for a while instead of enjoying the activity that is going on. "

Sounds familiar...

1:55 PM

 
Blogger jjok said...

well said

11:58 PM

 
Blogger NewinNov said...

Your posts are just so funny. Some of the comments to your posts are also great stuff.

9:19 AM

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home