Friday, June 27, 2008


I have been a little rough on poker sites lately so I thought I would mention some nice things in a series of posts. I will start off with Bodog.

Of all the sites out there only Full Tilt and Bodog have taken to supporting the poker blogging community in a direct way. Full Tilt ran the BBT3 series and Bodog ran a great tourney with thousands of added Bodog Dollars and a WSOP seat. All I see Pokerstars do for us is some 9000 person freeroll once a year sometimes. Way way way better treatment by Bodog.

The second reason I like the site is kind of counter intuitive. The software is rough. It does not support things like Poker Tracker and has only just started with sizable windows in their new Beta. All of this is bad right? WRONG! You have never been so wrong. This encourages -EV players to swamp the place and that my friends is where you make your profit. Iggy told me this long ago about Titan Poker. He was so fucking right. I quickly ran my bankroll up to 1K-2K from very small amounts. If it was not for the BlackJack tables they had I might have millions there by now. Millions I say. Bodog is exactly the same.

You need more proof? Instant Tragedy wins there. Never have I owned someone as bad as him and yet he can win at this site. Still do not believe me? Blinders has a nice write up on their beginner SNG games. More still? Man you guys are tough. Ok. Smokkee supports himself playing on Bodog in some form or other. He is terrible. He can do it. He needs a lot of money too right? I mean he has a hot blonde babe with big boobies. She has to be expensive right? heh. Little bit of ribbing there. Smokkee and Love Elf are really great people. Still Smokkee started winning much more on Bodog. Overwhelming proof.

Does Bodog have a few things to fix? Yeah sure. Small things. It would be wonderful to be able to transfer money to my loser friends. I think that would help the site out a lot. Anyway I will be playing on Bodog a LOT this month. I will share with you my total domination of the fish and you will be so amazed that you will sign up immediately. Good luck my friends.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Pokerstars Rakeback?

RakeTheRake has added Pokerstars as a rakeback member. However rakeback is in FPPs.. I think.. Check out details here.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008


I have a huge case of the blahhhhhhhhhhhhsssssssss. I even took a couple days off of work. In the meantime I have given myself a case of "WOW Finger". This is a real medical condition. Ask Iak. Apparently that fag (he said it not me) is writing some posts again. I guess he has stiffed Fuel out of money in a Donkette kind of way. Although I do agree with his analysis that Fuel was just going to lose it anyways.

Unlike Fuel the PokerGnome knows a good thing when he hears it. My forray into the 2/4 NLHE tables found him and Bayne sitting down with me. I tried to get Fuel to show up but apparently he hates +EV situations. I had an epiphany due to this experience. I lost around $150 which is not bad at all. However I played like a total jackass donkeyfucker.

I realize that when I get into big games my adrenaline kicks in. I mean this is why we play right? We want to win money that matters. Taking down a grand while not life changing would be decent money. Something that almost equals a few days pay. It is a step in the right direction. When I get in situations like this I just do not play my game. So my goal is going to be to play 2/4 more often. Until I can play the way I know I am able to. Now I do not want to ruin my bankroll doing this so I will start off with a monthly shot at the decent stakes and see where it takes me.

Best wishes to Dr. Pauly and Bayne. I am a little late in this. I have not been reading any blogs for the past few days. The former was in a car accident. I believe that pot saved his life. He had to have been stoned right? I mean he walks around in a cloud? no? Anyway the relaxation of his body due to the herb had to have been why he walked away without a scratch. Another reason to legalize the stuff. He declined medical attention because he is a DOCTOR. I mean Dr. Pauly right? It says so on the internet so it must be true. I am sure he self medicated later. Be well man.

As for Bayne go wish his wife good vibes or whatever you do in situations like this. Bayne is a really great guy and I am sure his wife is wonderful too. I hope that everything works out for them.

As for me I am going to continue leveling my 39 Ice Mage and critting for 760 regularly. I am a sick monster. I spam my ice bolts and things die. However I seem to run through my mana pool like a motherfucker. Any enchanters out there available to give me some INT boost. Check out Moosenipple for yourself. He has some mad Dagger/OffHand/Wand damage bonus. Sick shit if I can get some help for my mana pool. Also if anyone has some thick leather I reeealllllly want to make these. Hmm. Not sure that is the right set since the one I am making needs 4-Stargems and 4-thick leather. Did they change the mats? Hmm. Oh well.

I may park myself in PVP for a little bit and get a bunch of HONOR. Some of the rewards you can buy are really good.

Until later.

Friday, June 20, 2008


If Duggles posts about Don and nobody ever reads his blog does it count? I can see it now.. "I made fun of someone and no one listened. Why is that? What am I doing wrong? Why won't people comment?". So Sad.

Drunk guys CAN do some things right

No I did not have gay sex last night. I finally got my money from Full Tilt which was held up by AlCantTypeWhilePuking. So anyway to put a cramp in Al's nut sack the reason I wanted this 350 was to do something naughty. I have been grinding out nice nice and bankroll managing for the past few months. I need to get my gamble on. So I am thinking of sitting down and playing some 2/4 with my cash. Hopefully I can convince Fuel to step down a level and play with me. Got to get the fish into the game somehow. So this weekend I will be donkin' off my reward. Hopefully I can get lucky and double or triple it. If not oh well. It should be fun either way. I plan on playing Saturday Night. So if you want to get an invite IM me or drop me a comment with your FT name. See you then.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Fucking Idiot

While my other points about Full Tilt are totally valid and they do need better customer service my money was not being held up by them. Apparently AlCantStopDrinkingLongEnoughToReadEmail could not be bothered to send the list into Full Tilt. He was too busy living his over the hill burned out rock star life style. Jackass. Like I need more to rant about today.

Celtic Assholes

OMFG! I came about 3 seconds away from kicking a cane out from under a blind guy. I was so fucking furious about my commute today. The blind guy was not even on my train. They pack my fucking train with thousands of Celtics fans wearing those fucking green jerseys and these fuckwads are packed in so tight I can feel the guy behind me pushing his junk up the crack of my ass. Then this fucking nitwit turns to his friend and is like "I gotta get off the train now! I am going to pass out!" and he fucking leans on me for support! I COULD FUCKING CARE LESS IF YOU DIE! DIEDIEDIEIDIEIDDIEIDIE!!! ARG! STUPID FUCKING IDIOT COMMUTERS! Oh congrats Celtics.

While I am on the subject why the fuck are stock traders such arrogant fucks? I mean cmon. What the hell do you scumbags do? "Der, I will take 5". I mean some Walmart customer service clerk can do that shit. You fucking arrogant line cutting fucking tards.

Yesterday was much better. Carmen talking about me talking about masturbating is about as close to having sex with her as I am going to ever get. WOOT! Score one for me! I even got a visit by Bobby Bracelet. Does that mean my blog gets to go up a letter from it's current standing? I mean it must right?

I will leave you with this email I got as a last note. The lament of the loser. Anyone can win over a short period of time. It takes skill to win over the long term.
Have a nice day.

This is a letter I have recently sent to a poker site and I am waiting for a response. The facts in this letter are 100% accurate! - BlindRiver

This is obviously my first time playing at your site, but let me just say I have played at many other ones that gave me free bonus money as you did, some more some less. I would say in total I have recieved about 30 free money bonus offers in poker and much more from casinos.
Now here is the really funny part. Every single time I get a bonus from a site such as yours, and I mean EVERY time, I seem to at least quadruple my money to start. At your site I was able to make 5 and a half times the money up to 56$! Wow, but now, I don't have enough points to cash out right? So I keep playing and lose all the money on a miracle run of bad bad beats! Hmmmm, wierd how every single time a site gives me free money, I'm always able to make a lot off of it, then lose it before I am permitted to cash out. I do not think this is a coinsidence. How can it happen exactly that way over 30 times? It is not statistically possible!
So then I got to thinking... How does this benefit you as the poker site? Quite simple... you give me a taste of real money play, show me how easy it is to win, then take it all away. Now I believe that I can deposit my own money and make money like the last time, except this time I can cash it out right? Wrong! Because when I deposit my own money, I lose after winning a small amount, and lose my deposit. Very clever I must admit!
So now I get to thinking that if your poker programs are smart enough or programmed well enough to permit the bonus money players to win at the start of their bonus and lose later on, then how safe are the players actually depositing their own money?
This is not to mention the Absolute Poker scam, and the recent news about Ultimate Bet where in both cases, hole card information was given away to players.
Now please remind me why I should deposit money at your poker site?
I do appreciate the bonus because it is fun to play, but we both know I'm not getting anything out of it. Been there, done that. So in closing I would appreciate if you would give me a response to this e-mail regarding my concerns WITHOUT, I repeat WITHOUT ANY crap about a random number generator or anything along the lines of randomness, because anyone who knows anything about computers knows that it is impossible for them to generate random numbers.
Thank You

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


I think I hurt myself last night. I was finishing up playing on Full Tilt and hanging up my two buyin win for the night. I got myself settled in my chair and started the nightly masturbatory fantasy. So I finish wanking off to this nice blond school girl and get up to clean off and my whole right side just spasms in pain. I mean it is like I pulled a muscle lifting the thing or something. Like I am some Bobby Bracelet or something. For like five minutes I am in agonizing pain. I mean enough so I have to breath shallow. After I cleaned up which was not easy I crashed to the floor to wait out the pain. I have had a few of these in the past year. I think it is just from lack of exercise or stress or something but not sure.

As far as the comments on my post. ScurvyDog obviously never reads my blog as I have never claimed to be anything more than break even. He makes a stupid point that I could have floated the buyin. True but not everyone could. Which is why his comment is stupid. I choose not to argue with the wife over taking money out of our account to fly to Vegas and play poker. It is easier that way. Also if you look at the WSOP list of events there is no good NLHE weekend game left. As much as I would like to lose six hundred or more a day taking off of work I just can not justify that.

Al's comment was good though. Go read it if you have not.

I will restate that I love Full Tilt and think they are a great site. However I do not think that everything they have done for us warrants a free pass for a bunch of screwups and basic communication issues they have had. I really could give a crap about the $350 they owe me.. but other points in the post are valid. I have had many conversations with people wondering where their money is a month or two after requesting cashouts. Endless emails that get answered three or four days later. This whole operational procedure need to change. I will say every single person eventually got their money and I have no doubt Full Tilt makes good on everything. I just think they need to fix any cashout issues they may still be having and they need better more up front means of communication.

I will also say that they probably do not have to do any of this. I mean look at UB and Absolute. They had people who could SEE YOUR CARDS and I have not heard of a major downswing on the site. Sure they have lost customers but they seem to be largely unaffected. So Full Tilts minor problems may not cause them to lose any business.

I also do not think brown nosing them because they have been good to me and have given me advertising money is a good policy. If I see something I do not like. If my friends mention things that are not right I will post these things here. As minor as they are I think they need to be fixed. So keep on being a great site Full Tilt and fix your little issues.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Example for JJ

Dear Full Tilt,

First allow me to say you are MY FAVORITE site. Even though Bodog is much more fishy and has better MTT structures YOU ARE MY GIRL! You have given a TON to this community of bloggers and I thank you for everything. Putting up WSOP seats and 2K packages and all of that extra money was incredible. However. There is always a However. You really need to get your fucking act together. I mean seriously. I love you but your like some donk tricked out on heroine. You just are totally fucked up. I read everyday about people not getting payments from you. Having to wait for a ton of time. What is the excuse? I can understand if there is some processing problem but why not come out and let everyone know what happened. Instead your pathetic "Support" line handles it horribly. This is a sign of a rinky-dink operation. You guys have become one of the powerhouse sites. It happened a while ago. Grow up your fucking infrastructure. What are you owned by a bunch of cheap jew lawyers or something? Fucking step up and support your base. Otherwise you will lose it.

I also think you totally blew the fucking package deals. Why not pass them out early so people can go through your ridiculous withdrawal process and ACTUALLY PLAY IN THE WSOP!!!! I mean fucking two weeks into the deal and I still did not have my 2k? I would have LOVED to have a fucking FT hat on my head and some FT speedoes holding my cock up while I donked my way through some 2K event but by the time you sent the money all of the events I was interested in were past. This does not include the month it would take to get the check sent to me either.

Last but not least.. WHERE IS MY FUCKING MONEY! You owe me $350. I mean cmon. I won it right? This is your page right?

It does say my 5th place finish is worth $350? Right? I mean this was not Full Tilt points. It looks like cash to me? What the hell do I have to do to get paid? I mean I am willing to be patient if you COMMUNICATE! How the hell can you just leave me hanging though? I am very paranoid and think you are conspiring against me or something. Just tell me when my money is coming. I mean why did you not send it with the 2k? Why are you retarded? Please please please get a lobotomy and fix that fucked up brain of yours. I love you too much to see you do this to yourself. Grow up and be a professional company.

I will say I was amused by your first response telling me I was a loser and never won anything and sending me my losing MTT history for the last few months. I thought that was a nice touch.

I would ask for a Bonus for my troubles but it probably would be harder to figure out why my bonus was not credited to my account than it would be worth.

Thank You,

Blow Fucktard

What the hell is JJ thinking? I mean seriously. Rules of engagement to ranting? Nice little ha ha funny shit fucktard teasing of people. No fucking way. If your going to rant do it like a pro. Now I know I am semi-retired but by god I knew how to rant.

I did not sit down in front of my computer and make fake AP news stories and chuckle at my supposed cleverness. No. That is not a RANT. Possibly it is some fucking retarded argyle sweater wearing alligator polo fucking retards idea of a rant. Cocksuckers from Haaaavard may rant like that. "Oh good one George, here here, hip hip, you slay me". What kind of pussy ass rant is that? A rant should be just that. It should come right after the idiot sucks out on you with her ridiculous K4. It should have passion and irrationality and pure fury baby. Multiple swear words should be used and not stupid ones like "Your a dumb person". No real one. Like when I called someone a cum swilling whore for calling off on an all low flop with AQ. Fucking nearly crippling me at the end of a Mookie. Now that is how you fucking rant.

So in conclusion Blow yourself JJ and leave the ranting to the professionals.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Rant Fail!

If you are not reading the fail blog your dumb.

I am failing at ranting. I mean if I was a writer like Dr. Pauly or a stealer of content like Iggy I could continue on. My blog is about losing and ranting. So what am I to do? I am winning for the moment.

I am playing some Warcraft with MHG. We are looking for some players on our PVP server also. We are Alliance which kinds sucks but we are still low levels (28 and 14) so you can join up and we can smack down some loner Horde players. The current characters are Hunter and Ice Mage. I have also decided I suck at PVP right now. I never really played it on my other server. I soloed some pretty sick content with my crazy hunter and his pet. Now I have to learn to beat the crap out of other humans. Anyone who has a level 70 on my server and wants to twink out my mage for fun just send me some stuff!!! Whee! Here is a link to my character if you want to join up. We are currently residing in Stormwind I think. BTW - 40% Chance of crit on ever shot I make is pretty cool. GOOOO SHATTER! I am such a nerd.

Anyway to avoid these BS Warcraft posts I am going to start a mini-series of posts. These will be to honor and poke fun at some of the people I like to read. I have done some of these in the past. The mini-series is going to be me writing as another writer. I might as well start as the blog father. Why the hell not. Hopefully these can be amusing and enjoyable.

Thursday, June 12, 2008


Finally a winning night albeit only a little over one buyin. Also Abigal you bingo playing cunt and all of your spamming friends I have removed every comment you ever left so knock it off. Email me at if you want to PAY for a fucking Ad you stupid cheap motherfucking bastards.

I Really Fucking Hate to Do This

So Blinders wrote a post ripping Hoyazo a new asshole. I just totally disagree with every conclusion Blinders comes to. I really hate to say that because I do think Hoyazo is an arrogant fuck albeit a good guy and I would love to crush his spirits with a controversy but I just do not get it.

The first complaint he has is that Hoyazo played under an alias. This is totally untrue. Sure his name on Bodog was not Hoyazo but is there any reason you need to sign up to a new site using the old name? It is not like he has two accounts on Bodog. Fuck my screen name on Bodog is not SirFWALGMan primarily because I wanted a break from the notoriety that comes from being a Z-Lister like myself. He has no obligation to out himself. If he decides he wants to that is fine. I know a dozen or more people who have alternate Bodog names. Do I think they are cheaters? Of course not. Would I have an advantage if I knew it was Hoyazo sure but if I can not play POKER against someone then fuck me not him. If you can not adjust to his lagtard fucked up style of play then that is your fault not his. Any retard can stack his ass if they pay enough attention. So grow up and learn to play the game.

The second complaint was that Hoyazo changed the format of his game in the TOC to benefit himself. Is Hoyazo a 6-max specialist? I never really considered him one. Most of the MTT play he is involved in nightly is full ring.. all of those retarded screens shots of him calling off his stack with A3o seemed to have nine people in them.

He also incorrectly says that none of the formats of the games were changed. Now while I agree Hoyazo made the most drastic change there was one other so called scumbag who changed the format of his game.. the scummy.. MOOOKIE. Yes folks I am breaking the news here. That "scumbag" as blinders put it altered his format not just once but TWICE. First off he changed the starting stack size in order to benefit his old ass. He was so tired when it was deep stacks that the nursing home staff had to wake him up so he could bust out in 45th place. If you do not think this significantly changes the texture of the game you are a fucktard. Secondly he made one game a month a KNOCKOUT. Now this may not seem like a big change. However to us guys that have people gunning for them every night this is a HUGE change. Not only can the brokeback donkeys get a laugh at busting Waffles BUT they can get paid CASH MONEY to do so. This is by far the greatest format change in the whole TOC.

One last point on this format change stuff. One guy who had FAR more power than Hoyazo. Do you know who I am talking about? If someone should be called a scumbag it is for sure this guy. CHOAD. Here is a guy who was given the keys of heaven for the TOC. He could choose whatever game he wanted week after week. He could tailor these games to his strengths if he wanted to. Obviously he has no strengths against bloggers because his results were dismal but the power was there. Every week it was utilized. So you really can not say that Hoyazo did anything different by changing his format to 6-MAX.

The final point here is that Blinders claims that there was a stipulation that your blog had to be live for 3 months minimum. Now I will fully agree that Hoyazo broke this rule but who the fuck knew about this? I played several games and I believe there were some non-bloggers in these games. I never once noticed anywhere that there was some limitation on length of life of your blog you had to meet. I fully realize that Blinders may be a little more anal than me and tracked this shit down but seriously who knew? Did you know? I sure as hell did not. I also do not remember anyone asking me about my blog. I mean remember I was playing under another name on Bodog and nobody knew I was Waffles initially and they did not stop me from registering or ask me what my blog name was. I really can not fault Hoyazo here.

I personally think Blinders is way out of line here and owes Hoyazo a big apology. I am also equally sure that this is not going to happen but who knows. I am very interested in what other people think about this. I personally for the reasons above do not think he did anything unethical. I was far more upset about him buying a seat to the TOC until I realized that I wanted more dead money in the event. Look forward to hearing your opinions. Have a nice day.

One other note: I do agree with Smokkee that it is pretty lame to play in the Bodog events and call the site Blowdog and say you hate it.

Getting Better

I must be getting better at poker. I only lost twenty bucks last night. The 50/50 was a joke. I over thought a hand against a monkey who does not think. He basically jammed his QJ into a raised pot all in on a Q25 flop. I like a moron believed he was chasing a flush draw with his weak ass check-raise and stacked off with pocket nines. Ewww. Oh well. QJ is the nuts you know.

I did play some motherfucker though. AK on a KK4 flop. Pot that fucker. Turn Ace. Check. Stack the mother fucker who chased on a paired board with A9o. DONK! Was sweet when he fell for it and put all chips in. Not so good was the 8899J board not raised pre-flop where I had A9 and he had JJ. So only twenty up in cash and a few bucks in an SNG to cover most of the 50/50 buyin. Tonight I have work. So poker will have to wait until later. Peace.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Poker Post

Full Tilt finally sent me my 2K package. I now can not use it as most of the weekend NLHE events are done and I really do not want to throw away 2K on some shithead game like PLO. God I hate that game. I think it is better to just pad my bankroll. I also am a little annoyed they sent me the 2K but did not send the 350 I won as 5th best finisher of the BBT3. Um, why would you not just send it all together? Hell why did you not just send the 2K in May and then I would be flying to Vegas this weekend to play the NLHE WSOP event. Ah well. I do love Full Tilt and appreciate everything they have done for us. It is by far one of the best sites to play at. However it would be nice if they got their act together a little bit. Fuck I do not even know who to ask about the rest of my payout. Oh well.

So I played poker last night. Time for another break. Ha! Stupid fucking night. I think a lot of these hands were situational coolers but let me know what you think. First off I lost a buyin in LHE to the biggest fucking donkey ever. I would 3-bet pre-flop and 3-bet him on the flop. He would have a pair of fours against my queens and would turn a seven to make two pairs after putting 6-7 bets in to beat my ass. What a fucking retarded idiot. No way you make money in LHE long term calling every 3-bet pre-flop with 47o. So then I lost a buyin in NLHE. Here are a few hands. First the really questionable play.

I am in ep with AK. One guy bets $2 from EP. The next raises to $8 all in for his whole stack. So I call and the first guy goes all in for $14 more. There is $34 in the pot at this time. So I am likely behind but it is only fucking $14 more to call. So do I fold here? I dunno. So I call. What would you do? I was up against AA/KK and drawing dead to a straight so I lost that hand.

Next hand I was a little tilted and called a raise from EP with 78d. The flop comes T7x. Early position guy leads out for $5 which is about pot. I am not convinced he has a monster so I cold call. The turn is my 8 to give me two pair. So when he leads out for $10 I re-jam for my remaining $18. He turns over KT and I stack his ass. I am back up to my initial buyin. I like floating here sort of but I probably would not have invested that much in this hand if I had not been short.

Final hand of the night. I get dealt my first big pocket pair of the entire night. A pair of brokeback cowboys. I raise to $2. I get two callers. This has been a fairly loose table. The flop comes 445. I lead out for $4. One guy calls me. The next guy jams in for his entire $18. So here I am facing a big raise for all his stack for eighteen dollars and nobody has shown any strength all hand. Unless someone is slow playing to trap me. So I decide to isolate the raiser who I put on a big pair in the TT-QQ range and try and take this pot down. So I jam all in and the bitch next to me who has me covered instacalls with her 55 and IGH MAD as hell. Of course she played the hand great. I think this is one of those times where I was in the wrong position at the wrong time. If the guy with eighteen had raised and she had jammed and then I was left to act I think this is an easy laydown. However the way the hand was positioned really put me in a hard spot. Do you get away from this hand as a cash player? Am I just being too hard on my results or did I misplay some of these hands badly? I am not sure.

Anyhow on my first night back I drop a hundred. Real fun. Tonight I decided to save myself fifty bucks and just but straight into the 50/50 and lose that and go to bed. Pretty solid plan to save myself fifty bucks of my bankroll. See even the MTT is called the fifty/fifty which says I spend fifty to save fifty. See it is like pre-ordained or some such crap like that. Good luck to you motherfuckers. I really hope this streak ends soon. Peace.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

World of Haters

World Of World Of Warcraft's amazing level of detail makes players feel like they are actually in a cramped, dark apartment playing World Of Warcraft.
-- The Onion

That was funny as hell. Go watch this video. This means little dwarfs who pretend they do not like WOW while they masturbate to 13-yr old guys pretending to be dwarf females.

I am taking a slight break from Poker. I think I will take the week off and start back up on the 15th. No you fucking haters I have not gone broke. I have a very healthy yet somewhat decimated 544 bankroll. Down about two hundred in this horrible run I have been having, I.E. Reality. Poker is fun my ass. It is a stupid fucking horrible game that finds new ways to torture you every day. I will be burning my copy of the Psychology of Poker.

I rolled a new Draenei Ice Mage on the some Azerak Mountain Realm or some fucking shit like that. I have leveled up to twenty one and should soon be moving off the island to the city of sexy night elf females. I mean these are the CarmenSinCities of WOW. I can freeze them in an ice block so they can not run away too. RRROOOOAAARRR!

Until then have fun.

Monday, June 09, 2008

Depressed about Poker

Blah. I am pissed. Been going through a two week downswing. Not fun. Shoot me now. Thank you. I think I need some time off. I also think I projected a ton of my recent frustration on Loretta.

I must be jealous of lucky people. Although I deep down understand there is skill involved in jamming your sevens into someones queens I just hate that aspect of the game. Hoyazo makes an amazing read. Well ok I think he is a TPTK overplaying donkey because no matter how much of a bluffer OSU is any donkey can hit a better hand than A9. Just not worth stacking off there. I guess that is why I suck at MTT play I hate jamming my K6o, I hate calling with TP nine-kicker, and I hate re-jamming sevens into a guy who has shown strength and has me covered. If I could learn to do these things I too could be a champion.

See bad Waffles projecting his hate onto other people. Blah. I am depressed poker wise. Peace.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Stupid TOC

Out in ninth. Pretty disappointing but that is how MTT play goes. Normally the guy who jams sevens into queens wins. Stupid fucking game. I swear I am never going to understand these things.

Cash games are going pretty well. I pulled a nice gutter-overjam for value last night. It always makes me chuckle. In addition I did the ole limp-OESD made jam for value too. It always amuses me what people will call off with. In that particular hand the guy has AQ and flops TPTK after a small pre-flop raise. He checks the flop probably wanting to CR. I have a straight flush draw. I turn my straight and jam. He calls off with TPTK no draw. Niiice.

I think I may take a week and only play cash. Nothing else. I am curious how much I waste on stupid SNG and MTT play.

Friday, June 06, 2008

I do not Understand Poker

First off tonight is the KORD. Go check out the site for information. I am the reigning champion and there is a bounty on my head. It is 8.80 KO for a chance to tilt the fuck out of Waffles. Seems like money well spent.

I have switched my game to 25/NLHE lately. Stud has been slow and SNGs are swingy. So far in two days I have made eight buyins and have no idea why. I will be the first to admit I suck at NLHE cash games. My reckless spirit serves me well in MTT play but in a cash game it is just disaster. I have been running well this much is true. I even stacked Scott last night. It was an interesting hand. He had a set of fours vs my set of eights. I think I lead out and he cold called with one other person. The turn made a straight and this is when he got active. I called thinking even if I am behind I can catchup. The river was a blank and he jammed in for his final eleven. I was up a buyin already and I had played the hand too far to back down so I called and was DELIGHTED to see his lower set. I was really scared by the action and the way the hand went that he had the QT nut straight. Only because that fucker almost never gets all in without the nuts. I have mad respect for him. He said to me afterwards "You should always be willing to go broke there". It was an interesting comment and he is by far a much better cash player than I am but should you really always be willing to go broke with a set on the river and a straight on the board? Is there a reason for this? Can someone who plays cash a lot explain this to me. Scott just grunts a lot and tells me it is because he said so and he has won 100x what I ever will.

FUN hand of the night. This hand had me fucking scratching my head and french kissing the "RNG". So I am at a pretty good table and I look down and see POCKET ROCKETS BAYYYYBEEE. I raise my normal dollar and I have a REALLY tight image. So I get five callers. I am scratching my head and awaiting my inevitable doom. The flop comes down A28 ALLL FUCKING CLUBS. WOW! So I lead for pot. I get two callers and three drop out.

The turn is a TWO! Very nice card for me. I lead weak for three again. Then all of the sudden the guy next to me wakes up and JAMS ALL IN.. then the guy next to him JAMS OVER THE TOP.. I am fucking hoping nobody has quad twos because there is no fucking way I am folding. So I call. I am up against 69 of clubs for the flush and A2 for the smaller boat. BOOOOM BABY BOOOM! Too bad both of them together only had like one buyin. Fracking fish calling raises pre-flop with A fucking two. Wow.

I also bubbled a 45-peep SNG. So I have had 17th, 13th, and 7th in the last three days. Really this is getting me prepared for the 46-person SNG I have to play this Saturday for a fucking ME seat baby! OHHHH YEAH! This is going to be fun. I even bought a stranger into my 45-peep last night. He was playing 1.10 SNG so I sent him the buyin so I could simulate someone in the game who did not earn their seat. I am really looking forward to this weekend. I may even come out with my own odds chart and see how well my predictions do against the real game.

Tonight I will keep going where the fire is hot and hit some more cash games until they dry up. The KORD of course and maybe try and finally win a 45-peep SNG. That was the last thing I won to jump my bankroll up. See you at the tables.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Blah Is King Baby!

I had an ok night at the cash tables really just breaking even. I was up a buyin and a half playing NLHE with MiamiDon. It was fun matching wits with him and a few times I made big laydowns when I felt I was ahead of him slightly. He confirmed my reads were on. After losing half a buyin to flush over flush. Flopped. Sucked balls.

I got lucky against MiamiDon when I smooth called him with KK. I had raised and ScottMc smooth called and then Don re-raised fairly large to 2x the pot. In my head it screamed AA but I was not about to fold kings pre-flop so I called. I thought about jamming but my alarm bells were blaring. The flop came with an Ace and it made my fold easy.

I stacked Pushmonkey when he chose a bad time to bluff against my nut boat. I then spewed back a full buyin with terrible hands like AK vs AJ. Ug. Finally I decided to leave. I was going to go to bed but Pushmonkey convinced me to play on Pokerstars. I then got so fucking pissed off by that and also by getting fucked out of the 45-peep with 44 vs 22. I jammed from ep having this guy almost covered and he insta calls. He flops a fucking two and I go out in 13th. Second night I have been fucked out of a possibly huge score but some numbskull. On Pokerstars I got called down by the most ridiculous and idiotic players known to man. I finally exploded and called this one chick a fat hairy pussy.

I busted out my buyin and then FUMING mad I went over to Full Tilt at Pushmonkeys suggestion and watched Mookie on the final table. I saw this chick MoonJuice make some interesting plays and knock people out with some pretty sick suckouts. So I took all my frustration out on her. Was it a good thing to do? Nah. I need to stop doing shit like that. We verbally sparred for a little bit and I guess I won because she announced I ruined her night and jammed her hands all in and busted out like two hands later. I do not think I have ever caused anyone to tilt that bad. She then calls me fat and ugly in the chat window. She says she learned poker a year ago and is eighty nine and invalid and this is her only fun and I have ruined it and she will never play the Mookie again. I say she must have Alzheimer's too because she obviously forgot how to play poker. I also have to chuckle. When you call a fat and ugly guy fat and ugly well derr I already know that retard. Honestly taking my frustrating out on the old lady was kind of fun but I really did not mean to hurt her feelings. I do think she needs a thicker skin but I apologize for my bad actions.

I am seriously considering taking a night off. I am just caught in a small semi-downward spiral. I mean losing 200 in two weeks of play is not a big deal but I am waiting for things to break my way and it is getting a little frustrating. I also am encouraged with my last two sessions at NLHE cash and may fuck around with that again. I also am thinking a 180-peep on Stars is looking good. I also think that a 45-peep on FT is in order since I got knocked out TWICE on brutal beats and third times a charm right? FAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWK!

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

No Mook For You!

BOYCOTT!!!!! BOYCOTT!!! I am sure to get over my MTT burnout soon enough but until then Boycott all these fuckers. Hell I have not even seen a dime of my wins from the BBT3. I have like 2350 coming my way. Would be nice to get it BEFORE the WSOP is over.

In some ways I think this is one big hoax. I mean AlCantHang is like a big brother to me. The kind who smacks you in the back of the head and sticks your head in the toilet. Of course he always has your back when it is you against the world but normally he is just a pain in the ass. I could totally see him gathering the bloggers together and making this whole fake BBT3 thing up. I mean that is more realistic than me winning the fucking WSOP package and taking fifth in the whole thing overall. I could see the conversation now.

Al: Hey let's fuck with Waffles head he has been getting too stable lately.
Iggy: Yeah why not
Hank: I can help!
April: *Cackles with Glee*
Al: So here is what we will do. Hank. Can you get FT to post up a fake BBT3 event?
Hank: Sure. No problem. They put the Waffles doom code in so this should be a snap.
Al: Excellent. Iggy and I will call all the bloggers. We have their numbers on Dial-A-Shot-Speedial and will inform them this is fake.
April: *Cackles with Glee*
Iggy: How the hell are we going to get that idiot to win though?
Al: We will have to help him. We will get people to purposely spew to him. If someone is not in on this we will take them out with our superior poker skills. He will think he is the best player in the world. This will be so awesome.
Hank: As long as FT does not have to send him any shirts or hats I am in. I mean can you imagine having Waffles as a spokesperson for Full Tilt? We would lose more players than Party Poker on Frist-Day.
Iggy: This is going to be so good.
April: *Cackles with Glee*

I honestly appreciate everything Full Tilt has done for me personally and know that they will probably ship the money after the TOC or something like that.

April: *Cackles with Glee*

Motherfucking jokesters on a motherfucking blog. See I knew it was too good to be true. I think I am becoming way to paranoid. Anyway I am back to losing. Wheee!!!! Nothing horrible. Just not getting lucky in anything. A few nasty suckouts where 16th in a 45-peep when my T8 flopped 2 pair could not outrun KJo on a 2 spade 3 straight board with him holding a draw to the Q-hi straight only. No flush outs. Turn J. River K. Cya fucker. I also went out 3rd when my TPTK could not outrun the call by bottom pair ten kicker when I jammed him all in for all of his chips and he rivered a two. Gah! So Frustrating. I ran out of books to read today so I am reading Phil Gordon's Little Blue Book. I assume this will cause me to think I can play NLHE cash games and hilarious loses will ensue.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Off With Smokkee's Head

I usually do not shill Bodog all that much because I fucked up and went broke so will not be able to play there until September. Wahhhh. Anyway. Since there is a HUGE bounty on Smokkee's head I figured I would shill it a little. Bodog is a great place to play only because the awkwardness of the software and lack of PT support causes most of the sharks to avoid it. While fish piss us off they are good for the bottom line if you can deal with your anger. I think Bodog made a mistake putting a bounty on Smokkee since any one of us would do it for free. BOOOM!

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Monday, June 02, 2008

Losing my Cool

I would stay and watch you lose your last 4.25 but I am not spiteful.

Last night I lost my cool so instead of losing my money I quit. This is after I said a few mean things in chat..

[22:46] SirFWALGMan: 98 on 99TQ board
[22:46] SirFWALGMan: bet 1k
[22:46] SirFWALGMan: vs KQ he jams all in and catches a J
[22:46] SirFWALGMan: what a fucking idiot
[22:46] riggstad: hahahahahahaha
[22:46] SirFWALGMan: SirFWALGMan: great push moron
[22:46] SirFWALGMan: 600 chips left
[22:46] riggstad: lol
[22:47] SirFWALGMan: 98eclipsegst: I put you on a draw too
SirFWALGMan: what a #%&&ing idiot
[22:48] SirFWALGMan: SirFWALGMan: what are you retarded?
Dreit: uh duh, I am
98eclipsegst: not that I know of
SirFWALGMan: you like have a mental problem>
Cause thats the only explaination that makes
any sense

[22:48] SirFWALGMan: 98eclipsegst: lets just say I took a chance
[22:48] SirFWALGMan: SirFWALGMan: you take a chance breathing
because your too retarded to do it riight

[22:49] SirFWALGMan: im not happy
[22:49] riggstad: hahahahahahahahah
[22:49] riggstad: took achance vreathing!!!!
[22:49] SirFWALGMan: jesus fucking christ cmon
[22:51] SirFWALGMan: 98eclipsegst: if I win this tourney I may have all
my money back
Dealer: Dreit wins the pot (300)
Dealer: Hand #6671430007
SirFWALGMan: i appologize for calling you names
Dealer: Dreit has 15 seconds left to act
SirFWALGMan: its uncalled for
Dreit: feeling some love here now-keep it up
98eclipsegst: its okay now I know when the
[22:52] SirFWALGMan: SirFWALGMan: know what makes me the maddest
lol.. i mean I have not been playing like a
maniac hahaha
[22:52] SirFWALGMan: 23 of 26
[22:52] SirFWALGMan: fucking cocksucking gutshot river
Session Close (riggstad): Mon Jun 02 22:52:36 2008

[23:56] SirFWALGMan: haha set nice
[23:56] pushmonkey72: BOOOM
[23:56] SirFWALGMan: cmon gold
[23:56] SirFWALGMan: hold
[23:56] SirFWALGMan: lol
[23:56] SirFWALGMan: actually a nice flop
[23:56] SirFWALGMan: very harmless looking
[23:57] pushmonkey72: should have checked
[23:57] SirFWALGMan: 9t?
[23:57] SirFWALGMan: OMFG
[23:57] pushmonkey72: oooooooooooooooooh
[23:57] SirFWALGMan: so sick
[23:58] SirFWALGMan: i hated that
[23:58] SirFWALGMan: lol
[23:59] SirFWALGMan: i should quit for the night
[23:59] SirFWALGMan: im not in a good state of mind
[23:59] SirFWALGMan: who is the dumbest moron.. hockey who got hit in the head too man y times
[23:59] pushmonkey72: fucking canadians
[00:00] pushmonkey72: :)
[23:58] SirFWALGMan: 222
[23:58] SirFWALGMan: 77 calls me down
[23:58] SirFWALGMan: with Q
[23:58] SirFWALGMan: and other overs
[23:58] SirFWALGMan: a straight
[23:58] SirFWALGMan: rivers a 7
[23:58] SirFWALGMan: lol
[23:58] SirFWALGMan: fucking asshole
[23:59] SirFWALGMan: i told him to fuck a dumb person
[23:59] SirFWALGMan: it would make him smarter

SirFWALGMan: go hit yourself with a hockeystick again
SirFWALGMan: dumbazz

SirFWALGMan: cya money
SirFWALGMan: hahaah call call call moron
Dealer: SirFWALGMan wins the pot ($12.50)
Dealer: Hand #6672393009
SirFWALGMan: thanks idiot
Dealer: AUlm27 has 15 seconds left to act

Weekend of Despair or a Bright New Hope

Seriously had a terrible weekend at the tables. Dropped 200 of my 800 bankroll that was nicely ramping up. If I did anything wrong losing that it was probably pressing a little too hard. The real dangers are in thinking down these paths. Saying things like "I should be at [x]" or "I was at [x] last week I need to get back there". Poker bankroll management does not work that way. It will only cause you pain and sorrow if you think that way. I admit I was pretty bummed out. Totally the wrong attitude. However in some small ways I am encouraged and think this weekend was a good test. While I did lose more than I would have liked I did not go off the deep end. I did not play a single game above what I have been playing for the past two months. I basically handled it well if not perfectly. The mentality of winning poker is tough and it is the little things that swamp you.

Last night found me busting the slump with a nice Royal Straight Flush that got me back to the 625 range as I went something like 2,2,3,1,X,X in a series of SNGs last night. The third place finish was so sick too.. Got a guy all in on a 26x flop with 96 and he sucked out a two on the river for a win with the all mighty T2o. Ah well.

Bayne conceded our prop bet last night. It must feel good to lose to the Worst Poker Player Ever! Shipped a fifty my way to get me to 675.. and placing fifth in the BBT3 should add another few bucks back to the bankroll.. not to mention rakeback and advertising money. So as you can see the real trick in poker is to keep yourself in the game until the tide turns back your way.

I would like to say I had fun playing Iggy this weekend but the little drunken fuck sucked out on me after I got my money in on the turn. This is always the question I have in poker. I believe I did the right thing by getting all my money in the middle as a percentage favorite.. I was something like 10-20% favored on the turn with a pair and a gutter draw vs a gutter flush draw. My read was spot on that I was ahead of the tard. However he had a lot of outs. I think technically I did what you are supposed to do.. get as much money in the middle as a favorite as possible. Ah well.

I would also like to say I had fun at the Big Game. It was decidedly not fun. I went out on like the tenth hand. I think this was a cooler but you decide. I am dealt AK s000ted diamonds and with a few limpers I pot it to like 200.. The flop come an indifferent J9x two diamonds. I pot it here because I have two over cards to any Jack, and while either of those could be dirty, I also have the redraw to the nut flush. So I get one caller making the pot like 1200 and the turn is what seems at first to be a great card the King. However it was a great card for the fucknut with QT who called two big bets. I thought about not firing in this spot but I had like 2200 left and I would be committing 1200 to put a bet in.. So I just fired all in with the nut flush redraw.. and obviously never made it. Oh well I do not think fucknut went very far either.

Tonight is Avoid the Hoy night. Yes, a brand new holiday. I am pretty burnt out on MTT play for the month. Having finished as the fifth best blogger in the BBT3 has taken its toll and I for one am boycotting Monday at the Hoy. I hate that fucknut MTT anyways. I may hit it up again in a few weeks. We will see. I agree totally with my esteemed college Mr. Hoyazo that this BBT3 was great and I really loved it but having to play every single event is tough. I do believe that I deserve to be one of the top ten on the BBT3 list also. I fully admit to sucking at big field MTT play but my style works great for games where the field is under a hundred. I really play these well IMHO and think the results show this. No specific plans for tonight. See you at the tables.