Oh Fuck!

I almost forgot the #1 thing I would buy if I won the lottery. Jesus what was I thinking... TAZER GLOVES! I always wanted a pair. You look all harmless but if someone fucks with you "DONT TAZE ME BRO!". BOOM! Gimme some!

Here is a fun peek into my life.. Wife and I are discussing this huge Raccoon we had in the garbage today. Tazer gloves so would have worked.

Me: Well.. Do we get to make a hat of him if he is dead? I mean the hat would be worth it.
Wife: That's right because you are so artistic and manly... (... = Sarcasm)
Me: HEY! That was not an eek when I saw the Raccoon it was a Battle Cry!
Her: Well then your battle cry sent it into the woods...the AC officer said it ran off...sure to be back tonight so get ready for battle you hunter you!

I better get those Tazer gloves soon.. hmm, might be good for the wife problem too.. (Evil Chuckle).

DISCLAIMER: If any law enforcement officers are reading this no raccoons or wives were harmed with tazers during the making of this blog post, no said entities will be harmed in the future with said devices either. All right reserved.