Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Like Do you Like these?

No Manly content whatsoever.. this one is for the fashion mavens like Carmen. So I wanted to pretty myself up for work yet stay comfortable so I went and got a haircut, new razor and then decided to get some shoes.

Now the shoes I have now are pretty comfy. They are Memphisto's and when I bought them I thought they cost WAYYYY too much.. as they dug into my heels I started to hate them even more. I mean cmon. I do not mind spending a bit on shoes but at least make them comfy. So finally I broke them in and now they are soft and lovely and I enjoy them a lot.

So the shoes are nice and I like them and all but I wanted something a little more casual and comfortable. I was looking around and I was like "These boots are expeeeensssivveee" but then I was like yourrrr soooooo worth it boyyyyyfriend.. so I decided to go ahead and buy some boots for myself. I settled on a pair of Wolverine mid-height boots. They seem comfortable but I have to get used to the higher neck since I have been wearing sneakers for the past two years for work.

So what do you think? Too Brown? Do they match my hair?

Shout Outs

I have not done a lot of pimping my fellow bloggers lately so I figure a nice Uber post pimping the people destroying your workplace productivity every day is in order.

First up is MiamiDon's post of the blog.. probably his best post ever. You look at Don the first time you meet and you can mistake him for some big dumb jock guy but this player has a great head on his shoulders. I am more and more impressed every time I talk to him.

Our favorite little sellout has separated himself from the Evil Overlord Linda at Pokerworks and is back to his little slice of heaven at Guinness and Poker. I actually met Linda at the last blogger convention and she is really a nice lady.. if I could only stop her from blinding me with that monster picture machine..

Speaking of old school bloggers where have some of them gone.. I miss guys like Chris Halverson the scotch drinking leather chair sitting bastard. I also miss Felicia. I was a perennial favorite for "Worst Blog Ever" on her site.. still brings a tear to my eyes. Now she is sitting in her wheelchair on the love boat sailing all over the world with old people as Glenn gazes longingly at her from his walker. Living the life baby! You go girl!!!

Raveen is hanging in there fondling cadaver balls and shit like that. If he starts blowing the dead guys stiffy then I am going to get concerned..

I start my new job on Thursday. Until then I am sitting in my Boxers making about 2K a day finishing up a fixed bid project. If you have never done a fixed bid project they can be very good and very bad. When you overbid your price and get the contract you can spend a few days lounging in your undies combined with a BUNCH of goofing off so it looks like it took a long time. In the end you send your mammoth bill and chuckle all the way to the bank. If you underbid you end up making about as much as a Taco Bell employee and cure the day you signed that damn contract. I am thinking of taking on more smaller fixed bid projects on the side. If you can componatize the majority of the requests and cookie cutter solutions your asked for over and over again you can make some good money.

The Mookie is tonight. I love MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK. He is one of my favorite bloggers. So get out and see him. Also go an see CC over at Poker Stars on Thursday for his bash. Thursday, 9:30pm ET. Password: Pokerworks. I usually do not shill CC or Hoyazo for some reason but I feel bad that he tilted off and lost a good chunk of his roll. Only thing I can say to the guy is that almost every great player has gone through the experience at least once.. of course I have perfected it to an art form but that is another story..

Dr. Pauly and crew continue to pump out tons of great content. Speaking of great content I hardly ever shill if you have not read an issue of Truckin' your missing some good freestyle writing.

Last but not least Irongrrrrllll has tearing it up lately and is going to play in the Foxwoods "No Bar in the Middle" Tourney.. you know, ladies only.. I never understood why guys got a bar on their bikes and women did not.. Seems a little reversed.. anyway, I am going to try and get out for March 25th if she is playing and cheer her on. I will be the big hairy guy in the skirt and pom pom's. Who knows maybe
I can kill the cash game while I am there too.



Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Night with Veneno

So just for the comment peeps I have only been playing games when people have forced money on me and made me play. I think that when my blood pressure gets under 2000 people need to ramp it back up so they stake me for stuff. Tonight was nothing new. Veneno stakes me for a token at 50% of whatever I win in the game I play.. Wes, Fluxer, Veneno and I all decide to play the 26K on FT.

So V sends me 8.70 for a Multi-table turbo and first hand in I have a guy bluff off 80% of his stack with a gutshot straight draw. Of course he hits it on the river and that is all she wrote for me. I should have gone with my initial plan of being a donkey and pushed the turn. I refuse to have any money left to bet on the river in Donkeyments.

So I play a second one. First hand in dude puts ALL his chips in on a gutshot straight draw.. and hits on the river. Lucky for me the flop was KK, and the turn was a ten giving me a boat and a nice start. However what are the odds of getting knocked out on your first hand of two back to back two table SNGs on two over-bluffed at gutshot straight draws.

So I get to the final table and end up losing a few chips when I raise AJ in ep only to have one guy push all in and another re-raise all in. The two donkeys turn over AK and AJ and the AJ guy (yes same hand as me) spikes a .. yes, straight, on the river.. I am now down to 1800 with 500 blinds. I get A8 in the sb. UTG thinks. I say to the girlie chatters: It is going to fold to me, I am going to push the BB, he is going to call with AQ and that will be it for me.. so it folds to me, I push SB vs BB, he calls, turns over AQ (with seven people left) and.. ok, I spike the eight and fuck him up easily cruising to a token win. What, it's Full Tilt, of course the A8 is going to win you retards.

We all decide to split 10%, and Wes and I (like the smart people we are) end up donking out early. Let the other two make the money for us!! I actually donked off a bunch of chips and was left with like 700.. so 3 off the button raises 120, 2 off the button cold calls, I have 700 left.. so I push.. BB insta-calls and I expect to see AA or KK. He turns over 88 and IMSOL (I am Shit Out of Luck). At least it was not a bad beat.. I can not condone this play from him because he has 3 other players that potentially will call his 88 push and they all have him covered at 2K.. so if anyone actually had a hand then he easily would have been out. Not that my move was any better.. but I either fold or push and I felt like gambooling. If everyone folds I am back over 1K and have a little room to work with. Wrong decision this time but what can you do.



L.A. Poker Classic

I am too lazy to post some good linkage to Pauly and Change100's coverage of the LA Poker classic.. also Amy and some other dudes I do not know are tag teaming this event. So straight from cut and paste on Mookies site here are some links.

If you haven’t been following the action at the LA Poker Classic, be sure to head over to Pokernews and check out the excellent coverage Pauly, Change100 and others are providing.

Ok here are a few of my own to the good Doctors pages..


I Love these guys..

I am in my boxer shorts working from home making shitloads of cash! WOO HOO! So I thought I might put some happiness into your dull cube dwelling lives. I will be joining you in hell on Thursday when I start my new job. Check out this workplace productivity destroying cartoon. It has bad language so watch at your own discretion. Celebrity Rant.


Monday, February 26, 2007

Bonding Moments with the Wife

So the wife loves to watch the Hail Mary channel. She is a Catholic by upbringing (brainwashing) and she will watch these religious shows on occasion. She is not a religious nut just the basic run of the mill Catholic. In order to bond with her I sat down to watch a bunch of nuns say Hail Mary's.

Me: If there is a god why does he choose all fugly nuns?
Her: Oh Marshall!
Me: I mean it.. does god not like hot chicks?
Her: God does not think like you.
Me: He made me in his image so he must think like me right?
Her: I hope not.
Me: I bet that fugly head nun has whacked her share of knuckles with a ruler.
Her: They are not a teaching order, they are contemplative monastic nuns.
Me: What does that mean? They blow monks?
Her: Oh Marshall!!!

I think I am going to burn in hell.


If you can't play..

Take tests about poker so you can seem smart. I took the Donkey IQ test. Interesting to say the least. I think the whole premise is wrong though. No reads. No player info. I do not see how you can really answer alot of the questions without being dialed into a game. However I finished the test and scored and pretty average score:

Your PokerIQ is: 122.
115 - 129 Low to Mid-Stakes Pro

Hey at least I am a pro. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Anyways.. start my new job Thursday. Should be fun. I am actually looking forward to it. I am also going to take 1/4th of any sidework I do and put it into a fund until I get my 2K stake. I am currently at $300 in funding. So I have a little ways to go. Probably is not going to take 9 months though.

I am seriously considering hitting AC with Jordon... umm, $700 to fly to AC? It did not even cost me half that for Vegas.. Jesus! I may have to miss this one Jordon..
I will keep looking though.



Friday, February 23, 2007

Jesus Fucking Christ

What the fucking hell do I have to do to win a fucking hand? I trap a guy perfectly.. he has bottom pair and a flush draw (Queen Hi) on the turn and I re-raise his smallish turn bet for most of his remaining chips.. obviously he calls, spikes the flush that gives me two pair, and thats all she wrote for me. Fucktards. Learn to fucking fold. How the fuck do these people know to feed themselves?


NSFW Poodles

The poodle is a lovely creature. If you wish to find information about the breed then you can check out the Wiki entry for poodles. I think that there should be more pages dedicated to this facinating creature even a wikipoodle site dedicate to these brilliant beasts. However I know you all came for snuff pictures of poodles so without further ado here are the lovely ladies.

Just look how this one shaves her ass. It is a truely amazing site. Much better than anything you have ever seen on Wicked Chimps Poker site.

Ohh.. an look as this wonderful girl on girl lesbien action just for your pleasure.

For those of you who are into it some bi-racial, human, poodle-poodle action. Where else on the internet can you get this kind of porn? huh? huh?

More Poodle for you tomorrow. I do not want to over excite Bone Daddy.


Thursday, February 22, 2007

I am a retard

No poker content here. Only personal stuff. You may or may not find any of this amusing and if your bored blame Raveen.

I have the kind of personality that causes me to do retarded things sometimes. Like the other day I decided to drive to the airport and pick my wife up without my glasses. Ok. This was not a decision per say since I put them in my shirt pocket the other day and decided to push the kids on their sled at Auntie Christies house. Now I must have failed geometry and physics in school because glasses in pocket and me bent at at least a 45 degree angle towards the ground or possible slightly more is a recipe for.. well, lost glasses. I only wear my glasses to drive a night. So I sort of needed them to pick up the wife at 7:00 at night. To compound my problems I was driving her tank. I drive a Subaru she drives a MONSTER TRUCK. I made it pretty safely to the airport but unfortunately I could not read any of the signs. I keep making out blurry [P] signs for central parking but ended up at the other end in the Hilton lot and had to walk half way across the airport to pick her up. She was not pleased.

The next retardo thing I did this week was trying to save time by being impatient. This is NEVER a good idea. I go out to my car having to get to my pseudo-job and get some work done. I see the wife has parked her TANK in the driveway blocking everything. Now a rational person would go back in and tell her to move the fucking thing out of the way. I however decide it is much smarter to try and go over the ice on my lawn and plow myself out the other side. Needless to say this delayed me many hours and did not make me a happy boy.

Today I felt old. I went to the MBTA and they have this new Charlie pass thing. Now on the surface this looks easy but it is insidiously evil and un-needlessly complicated. Basically if you have a Charlie card you pay 1.70, if you have a Charlie ticket you have to pay 2.00 for a ride. Now it does not tell you anything about what your suppose to buy. I have a Charlie horse staring at the board and trying to figure out what the fuck to do. Thankfully they posted MBTA officials at each stop to help the old and feeble like me. The GUI for these Charlie machines is HORRIBLE. First you have to push the screen. After that it gives you like 4 options that are not intuitive at all.. you then get a screen with denominations of money you do not need to spend.. and have to click the other button and type in the amount of the fare. I feel sorry for old people like me.

I wonder what the world is going to be like when I am 92.. Will I know how to use the Chase World Bank Cock ring? Will I figure out how the humping poll works to pay your fare (Don't event ask what the ladies will need to do)? Imagine what Chase does when you do not pay your bill too.. I hope that technology never passes me bye since I am supposed to be very technical but sometimes I wonder..

I had a job interview today. I woke up at 2AM and could not fall asleep again. Not the best state of mind for an interview. I guess I just want to get this job search crap over with and have a job. So today's company was a pretty good deal. I contacted an old friend of mine from a past job and it turns out he is the CTO of a financial company in Cambridge. It also turns out he is looking for someone for a two month contract with an extension of a year if that goes well. Possibly even more. So I go in with my nice shoes, khakis, and short sleeve collared shirt.. not really a dress shirt, more like a polo.

We shooot the shit about our old boss. This guy was a total asshole. Besides screwing dozens of contractors out of hundreds of thousands of dollars he was a total dickhead. He liked to start the morning by getting the group together screaming obscenities in general and directed at specific people. Apparently we were all worthless cocksuckers or something. I think the reason he was always so angry was because his life was fucked up bad. One example. He gets his girlfriend preggers and tells his partner that he is having a baby. So his partner assumes it is his wife's baby and sends a bouquet with a congrats on the baby card. Needless to say this did not work out too well.

Anyway after that he brought in the PHD. Really cool guy. He explained the project was going to be some heavy duty number crunching on financial portfolio data. Some serious regression calculus shit. So when I told him I barely finished 2nd grade math class he was fine with it. As a developer our job is not to be the matter expert our job is to know how to decipher the matter experts business rules into code. So anyway we talked and he was cool and it went pretty well. I told him I thought it would be an interesting project and I looked forward to learning a little more about the business.

Next I went to the tribunal of programmers. It was three guys in a room. The SQL guy started out giving me a fucking test. I was really not feeling good about it. Like I said before I hate the "test" taking types.. but I aced the questions. It was really pretty short. I will post the questions for anyone who feels like taking the test with me. When they said like 80% of people failed at least one if not two of three of these questions I was floored.

Table structure for the questions.

Customers Table
Customer ID
Customer Name

Orders Table
Order ID
Customer ID
Order Amount

Question 1. Write a SQL Query to return all of the customer data and any orders the customers might have.

Question 2. Write a SQL Query to return only customers with more than 5 orders.

Question 3. Write a SQL Query to update the Notes field in the customer table to say 'No Orders' for all customers who do not have an order.

I then got to chat with the C# part of the team. These guys were much cooler and we just chit chatted about different aspects of programming and my background. By the end we were all laughing and having a good time.. which is a good sign.

All in all I was impressed with the place and the work seemed like it would be mentally challenging and stimulating. I took the train home and by the time I got to my car I had a cell phone message offering me the job. I start on March first. Whoo hoo! So AC might be a real possibility. Catch you all later.


Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Style and Stuff

First off let me say that if you use Bloglines beware because I have lost ALOT of blogs lately. It kicked Jordon off my bloglines which is why I was like "WTF?" when people mentioned his post I never read. Of course perhaps Bloglines is smarter than me and I should not re-add him.. heh.

Just kidding. I really like Jordan alot and I hoped he would pick up on my sarcasm of the last post. I am hoping to make AC with him but I really need a job.

I botched an interview good today which is always fun. I am not sure if it would have worked out or not anyways. There are alot of types of developers and I tend to be more of the type who knows how to get things done instead of just talking about them. The guy I interviewed with was a classic whats the square root of pie kind of guy. Very intelligent. Very good architect type and if you have two years and ten billion dollars to spend he will make you a nice system. If you need to merge reality with pie in the sky development then you do not want this type of developer. I respect these kinds of guys but I do not want to become one. When I was eighteen I was an asshole like these guys who could quote decimal point precision on all datatypes in any language.. I have since gotten old and do not give a fuck what a decimal is. I think I am a much better person because of it.

I was giving alot of thought to what kind of poker player I am and what ways I can improve my game. I am a very intuitive player. I pick up on the subtle signs and get better and better every time I play someone. Hence the ability to pickup on things like Raveen being full of shit with his push. Well that one is easy since he is often times full of shit but that is another story. I tend to pickup on the subtle un-seen actions and plays of people on a more sub-conscience level. I am often times right in my reads as I normally find myself losing 80/20 and 70/30 "flips" of the coin.

Having watched some pretty damn good players like Mr. Dreamy and MiamiDon I think I can take this to another level by watching alot closer. Normally I sorta tune out and let my brain take over and it works great. However I have noticed if I can really focus in I can pickup more conscience reads and tells and get super dialed in. I am going to work hard on really merging the two types of reads together and improving my game. Of course I am not exactly sure how I can get my money in any better than I have been.. oh well..


Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Clean out your ears

Hello Jordon!!! Knock! Knock! Anybody home? I said I quit did I not? Fucker. Listen when I blog. How the hell can you make money as a lawyer without any comprehension skills? Jesus. I love Jordon. Anyway. Let me clarify a few things about my last post and Jordon's comment.

First off I do not believe that live is any better than online. Having played enough live this past year to get a good feel for it I can confirm the beats are just as horrid or possibly worse. I could go through the nasty one and two outers I have received live.. or pass you on to Smokkee who has been getting ass raped live lately. The only reason online seems any different is entirely the fact you are seeing so many hands. I am totally convinced of this from live play, watching poker on TV, and just common sense.

As to winning online. It is obviously possible. I was more making a statement about how I have been going about it for the past year. It will never work for me. I am totally convinced I need to play cash games and at a stake level that means something to me. Period. If I worked at McDonalds and was single I might be able to do something differently but I have seen the light and I know my path.

I of course need to get a freaking job in order to buy in to a site at a suitable level to play and be fully rolled. I think I am going to start with 2K at .50/1. The play is somewhat like the 1/2 level and I think doubling up to 4K and the 1/2 game should not take an overly long time. It will also give me some time to deal with the issues that plague me as a cash game player and improve my game.

So in summary: I can not win online or live the way I have been doing things and all that is going to happen is some tool like Raveen is going to think its fun to bust me out and make a ton of stupid calls and drive me crazy.

My next post is going to be about poodles. No no. Actually I have what I think is an interesting post about my style of play. Of course I get more comments when I talk about poodle sex than poker so maybe I should stick to that. Go Bestiality! Booyah!


Monday, February 19, 2007


I would give Rav a better rant but his play was such a pre-school move that it does not even deserve it. I know for a fact and he did not disagree that he made the play just to fuck with me.. so if he wants to be that kind of person then so be it. I am not going to comment on it any more.

Poker is getting depressing. I am thoroughly sick of consistently playing far better than anyone around me and yet losing. It is really incredibly insane. I mean what is the point of poker? I used to think it was a game of skill but it has nothing to do with skill. You can be the best player, outplay everyone around you, embarrass people if they had the sense to be embarrassed and yet what do you have to show for it? Nothing. Loss after loss after loss. Poker is entirely about luck. It has nothing to do with skill, learning, or anything else. I am glad the government finally decided to shut down poker. I hope you all burn in hell.

Ok. I do not hope you all burn in hell.. maybe a few of you.. I mean what a waste of Carmens boobs.. although she might look nice in a Devil tail.. succubus.. mmm.. anyway, I digress..

I am going to stop playing poker for the next nine months or so. So you will probably just get boring posts and crap like that. It is not worth it to play the "Big Game" or the Mook every week. In any single game and especially playing only a game or two a week you have no chance of getting ahead. It will just lead to brilliantly outplaying your opponents and losing. This is the only logical conclusion. So I quit until I can play for real.


Sunday, February 18, 2007

Big Game My Ass

Apparently Rav doesnt read Hoy as he calls my large re-raise with AJ against QQ.. and of course the board makes a 4 flush. Fucking brilliant play for all your chips Rav.. I hope to be as good as you sometime. Let's be real too.. You made the play for all your chips pre-flop just to piss me off. Well congrats.


Friday, February 16, 2007

Expert Opinion

I finally get to make an opinion on something I am an expert in: Personal Attacks. First off let me say I am loving Hoy's descent into madness. I need a partner in crime and pretty soon we can share straight jackets.

Ok. So anyway. Let's review. I am going to use JJ as my subject because he is a C-lister and nobody reads his crap anyways. Possibly throw in a recent Don comment too because I love him.

Ok. So if JJ limps Aces and gets cracked and I say "JJ you are a fucking retard limping Aces! What the hell are you thinking with 4 limpers before you!". Am I attacking him personally? No. I disagree with how he plays poker and I am telling him that. I may be wrong. I have called Lucko a fucktard in the past and in talking to him decided he has a strategy that works for him. No way am I going to stop calling him Sucko but I have grown to respect him. So here I am saying your play sucked. Not you. I really like you. I am expressing a strong opinion.

Now if I said "JJ you have hair growing out of your ears and you look fucking stupid". Now that is a personal attack. I have attacked the way that he looks and he can not help it if he is fugly. Personal attack.

Ok. Let's try one with Don. Here is a recent comment I made in his blog. "Ok, I do not know why everyone is sucking your dick so hard but drawing to a gutshot straight on a paired board is.. hmm.. how do I say this delicately.. STUPID!!! You got what you deserved there.". Personal or opinion on poker? See this is an opinion on Poker. I actually think Don is very smart.. you do not start a business and make it successful if you are not smart. I also think he is a smart player. I have a ton of respect for him. Here I am disagreeing with his play.

Now lets try another one. "I wish I could be as popular as CJ for being Otis's lackey. *sigh*" in response to a post on Hoy's site. Now this is totally a personal attack. CJ attacked me before and and I knew he was joking so I took some liberties and attacked him back. Since there is some background to this: I.E. He started it, I am justified in my attack. Even if I am not who gives a fuck. Damn lackey.

One last thing to think on. Now I have played with many a blogger and tons of them think I suck and others like my game and have confidence in me. In all reality it does not matter one bit. If your going to succeed in poker you have to believe in yourself. Many different methods of winning exist. They all have some things in common but just because someone does not like how you play does not mean anything. Believe in yourself Mr. Hoy as I know you do. Take other people's comments for what they are: people expressing their belief in something you said about poker. They could be right or wrong. All that matters is you play, learn, improve, and do things your way because if you do not make your own way you will lose.

I keep trying to tell Ick this but he never listens. He fucking wins huge MTTs and all of a sudden his game is not good enough. What the fuck you retard (personal attack) why the hell would you want to change that much? Always learn and grow but you have to play a style that fits you. A tight player would die if they tried to play Lucko style.. it just does not fit right.. they could incorporate pieces and learn to change up their game but playing straight out lagtard is not going to work. Figure out what fits you and use it but be yourself.

The reason a style of play like Super System worked so well was because it was different. It was Doyle's take on how you should play and it was different from anything people had seen before.. thus it worked.. The easiest people in the world to play against these days are Super System addicts.. you know what they are going to do and what it means. You can also play in a way that says something to them. Think about it.


Booze Interview

So the job search continues. It is a little hard searching for a job while working 30-40 hours a week. I keep thinking every week the side gig is up and they keep adding on new work. It works out well that way.

I might be hanging out with a friend tonight who is CTO of a Financial company. We are going to have a few beers and see if the positions he has are a good fit. The commute is short but it is to Cambridge which besides being the liberal capital of the world is also somehow hard to get to no matter where you live.. unless you live in Cambridge of course..

Nothing else going on. Going to try and win a token for the "Big Game" and see how that goes. Oh yeah.. and if you girls have not gotten a Valentine present Alexa reccoments the OgMyBod iPod Powered girl toy.


Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Valentines Day!


Monday, February 12, 2007

Eastmotherfuck Mexico

So if any of you have been talking to me lately you know how much I hate recruiters. I get the whole gambit of incompetant people calling me. The people who word match on These guys can not speak English as well as my four year old.

"Hello Mr. Waffles.. I am Mugujicia Imma Hamafakah. I am very intterested in hearing about your interest in being a lead brain surgeon. I see you have worked for hospital once fifteen years ago and I think this is a match made by Vishnu himself. Yes! Yes! Oooooohhhhh and Mr. Waffles the Pay! An amazing fifteen dollars an hour! How can you beat this.. hello.. hello.. Mr. Waffles?".

Now I have no problem with the phone calls if the guy puts in the work and figures out that no, I am not a brain surgeon. It really does not take more than five minutes. If your going to waste my time I am going to think your an asshole.

Now today I got a call to top all calls.. A job doing C, Sql Server, and C#. Sounds pretty good so far.. for Manufacturing company.. ok.. and.. there is travel.. err.. to.. MEXICO. Now I know a guy who used to be a developer for manufacturing software and when they say Mexico they mean places like Dante's rings of hell. I mean abject poverty. People who might kill you for your shoes. People who travel in tents so they can make two cents more from one of the factories on the border. When one company raises its rate by a penny the whole labor force quits and starts up at the new place.

I know these people did nothing to put themselves in this situation. It is really a sad commentary on the way our world is. HOWEVER that does not mean I want to risk my life hanging out with them. Especially when the pay rate for the job is comparable with what I would get working fulltime and not traveling. If you want to pay me a ton of money to go into the depths of hell I might think about it.. but if your asking me to go for no reason at all forget it. No more fucking calls about Eastmotherfuck Mexico!!! Jesus. Although I bet I could get some action there..



Ok.. So my stomache thing was still bothering me today.. so I decide to do something I rarely do: go to the doctor. Now I expect a doctor might see me when I am dead but I do not want them to get too familiar before that time. So I get to the appointment at a decent time. I go in and some short chineese dude is sent in to take my vitals. I am hoping that he is just an intern. You see I have a female doctor for a reason: if someone is gonna fondle my nutz, it is going to be a chick. I need to get whatever action I can.. and it helps that my doctor is a cute oriental hottie herself. Coughing has never been the same.

So anyways we sit and talk and she decides that it is probably excess gas. Now I know I have been farting alot lately so perhaps she is right. She prescribes this Zantac 150 MAXIMUM STRENGTH over the counter shit. If I am still in pain in two weeks I am suppose to go back for an upper GI or some gay sounding thing like that. So I swallow down my acid and gas reliver with a glass of coke and call it a day. I actually have to take two of these puppies at once. Perhaps taking them with coke defeats the purpose? What the hell do I know, I am not a freaking doctor. Thank your stars for that ladies cause you know what field I would go into..

Not much happening on the job front. Still spending day to day with my good friends who rent me out by the hour. Been making the 30-40 hours a week still but this is most likely the last week. I know I said that last week. Jesus these guys are un-organized. I have absolutly no leads going on.. been too busy working to look for work which is good I guess. Full Tilt funds coming on Wednesday.. then I will take my shots at tokens for the Big Game. I thought it was this past Sunday but was wrong.


Sunday, February 11, 2007

New Synptoms

So I am still coughing and all that but now I am getting shooting pains in my upper stomach in the middle. Like three fingers under where the ribs meet in the middle.. Sometimes these are triggered by food (maybe) and sometimes they just go off in the middle of the night to wake me up.. Not a lot of fun. I guess you could officially call me a mess now not that you could not before.. I looked up some symptoms and possibly I have an ulcer, gallbladder disease, pancreatitis, or I am pregnant. Serves me right for using a free online health quiz.. I may have to call my doctor if this really starts annoying me. Good luck to you all.


Friday, February 09, 2007

Survival Slighly Overestimated

Ok. While I am for sure on the road to better I am still sick. I was able to make it all the way through the nightly number two tonight without falling off the seat... Hear that ladies, almost fourty and pretty regular, what more could you want in a guy? I am still not at 100%.. Hopefully I can kick this thing soon..

On to headline news.. Is Anna Nicole Smith dieing "Tragic"? I mean would she be any other crack hoe dead on a winters night in Chicago if she didn't strip for playboy, have a nice body, and marry some old fart? No. Her life unfortunately is pretty damn common. We all succumb to our demons at different levels and while it is sad that her life swallowed her up it is not exactly tragic. Tragic is me being a break even poker player.

I was following that story of the parents who over-medicated their child and the little one died. So a two year old.. is on Bi-Polar medicine.. ummm.. ya.. Hello America.. it is NORMAL for KIDS to be SPAZZZEZ! You can not have drugs be the baby sitter. While making your kid a zombie seems like a good idea it IS NOT! Why the fuck is the whole medical system that would prescribe medication like that to a two year old not on trial? The parents were giving the medicine on order of the doctor, right? People like Ick and Raz make me sick!! heh. Just kidding guys. Seriously though if a drug is not tested for children I doubt it should be given out.

Some poker content for a change. I entered a HA MTT today. Why? Cause I suck a Poker. HA! HA! Seriously though I played one hand super aggressive and not sure if I should have or not. For those of you who do not know HA is Hold-Em OmahA high only.. no Eight.. Ok. Here is the sitch. I am 3rd in chips.. Blinds relatively low. Four spots pay. I limp into a pot and have AQ of clubs with some other garbage. I flop the nut gutshot draw and a nut flush draw. Nice flop. First to act bumps it 1500.. I am hoping he has a hand like KJ two pair.. I cold call and the dude behind me bumps it to 3K.. Now I am down to 4200 chips and still in the top six or so if I fold. If I push I have a chance to have twice the amount of chips as the current chip leader assuming everyone calls. So I push. The turn and river let me down. I was up against a set of Jacks and Sevens. The blinds at the time were something like 300.. So not too bad. So did I overplay my hand in order to try and get a strangle hold on the money? What would you Omatard players have done? Ok.. you HE special needs kids can answer too.

Almost forgot.. get a fracking trim you donkey... You look like this guy for christ sakes.

Beards and geeky ex-Trekker do NOT go together.



Not Suitable for Anyone. Please avert your eyes and go read something else. So I am finally feeling somewhat better after a terrible night. I was so freaking sick. I went to the bathroom.. So I am trying to crap, my head is so stuffed up I can not hear, the room is spinning.. I finally decide to collapse on the floor naked and enjoy the sweet embrace of the cold cold tile. Whoever invented cold floors is a genius! The wife was nice enough to come in and make sure I was not dead. After trying to part me from my new lover: the floor, she finally gave up and went to bed. I finally felt well enough to get up and wipe my ass a few hours later. I crawl into bed. Today. Walla! I can breath! I feel human again! I am still a little sick but I think the worse is over. We shall see.


Thursday, February 08, 2007

Cough Cough

Short post. Me sick. Fever. Cough. Pain. Ouchie. The last post was a pseudo-tribute to Hoy being in his style. Thanks for noticing. Sorry to miss Hammer Day. Death imminent.


Wednesday, February 07, 2007

New Blogger

I am using "New" Blogger now. I feel powerful.


I present to you a pictorial of the night of Waffles. I had a decent night final tabling two MTTs but not making any money.

I start out the night with the 2$ rebuy on FT. I flop a GREAT hand and on the flop this donkey re-raises me all in.

He runner-runner flushes me instead of catching his gutshot motherfucking straight draw and I am rebuying early and often. I then end up winning an 80% fav hand just after the break and suddenly I have some chips and can try and make a run for it.

Late in the game I end up with an interesting hand. I raise my 9's 6K and get cold called by the doofus on the end. The flop is not too bad. Either I am crushed or I am ahead. I decide to go ahead and push here since I do not have a hell of alot of chips left and my opponent insta-calls me.

As you can see his calling of my pre-flop raise and my push on the flop was retarded. My play of the hand was only slightly less retarded. I honestly put him on a big Ace and was happy to see his actual hand.

The next hand the same guy leads out weak and then bets the turn weak. I have two overs to the remaining cards and only the jack beats me. So I decide to go for it and push. He folds.

The next hand was interesting. I raise with my Jacks and he cold calls again. Bad habit of his. He then makes a good move by betting out small on the flop.. about 4K into an 8K pot.. So here I have to decide if I am ahead or not and if I think he has a heart.. I decide he is a donkey and go ahead and raise 12K.. In hind site this pot commits me and was a horrible move. If he had lead out with a pot sized bet I would have insta-folded but he tricked me into getting pot committed for a good chunk of my chips and well.. I actually won.

So I get near the chip lead.. I may have taken it for a while.. Meanwhile I am doing this at a Razz MTT.

I final table the fucker but only 3-spots paid so no luck for me. I just never could get any momentum going and went out on a hand that was close.. If he misses a 5 on the river or I get a low card it could be a different story.. however that is Razz for you..

So now I am concentrating on this table..

I end up going out in 7th place when I raise 12K with 99 and get pushed in for 26K more by KK.. Now I am not sure this call I made was good. It is hard to say. At 38K I was a shortie. Not the shortest but pretty short. I had an M of just over 10. However every spot from here on up is an extra chunk of change.. sooooooo.. I dunno.. I think folding here and not raising in EP in the first place would be ok. I do not think the call was horrible since I needed chips and this guy could easily have been on tilt from his last hand and/or been in a race situation.. Normally I like folding these kinds of hands when I am deep cause 8th just does not feel worth it.

Anyway.. perhaps my three week drought is over.. A normal amount of suckouts tonight and I even won a few hands I was suppose to.

I even had a HUGE suckout I did not report.. I had some hand like A2 in the SB.. and it is raised in EP.. 1 guy calls before me and it is 2BB to call.. So I call at the discount price. Hey it was s000ted! The flop gives me a gutshot straight draw. The guy leads out for a near pot bet and my middle friend once again calls.. So what the fuck.. getting 3:1 on my money and maybe implied odds? lol. Loose call but it was a rebuy. I turn a flush draw. I then decide to get cute and bet out 3K.. If I lose here I have 3-4K behind and will be hurt but ok. The original guy cold calls me after the middle guy folds. The river brings me the nuts.. I push the rest of my stack in and the on a flush and straight board I get called. He turns over somewhat badly played Aces.. I mean what does he beat there except a pure bluff? I dunno. Anyway.. he screams, whines, and yells at me for a while as I enjoy calling him a donkey and telling him to learn to laydown Aces.. Funny as hell.

Hopefully I am back to just having horrible luck and the super-extra-wicked-horrible luck is gone. We shall see tomorrow night. I am not totally sure yet because I got coolered in the Midnight Madness really early.. I have the Moooooook(T8o)! I flop my eight and turn trip eights.. so I push.. and the guy who flopped a set of jacks and turned a boat of course calls.. I was nowhere close to ahead at any point so maybe that does not count.. we shall see..

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Tuesday, February 06, 2007


Still looking for a freaking job. Jesus. I actually have yet to have a week off but that is not the point! I have two days of work left here at least and then I landed a week long gig with an old employer for 90/hr.. then its back on the unemployment line.

I actually would not mind a day off as I was going to hit Foxwoods this week and play off some of my excellent Bodog monies.. Since I could not get them into a Poker Account I might as well play them live. I am going to try out the 80/20 MTT and see if I like it.. then play some cash.

Most of this week I have spent nursing the kids to health again. The girl got a nice fever and cough first.. then it spread to the boy.. now the wife has it.. I think I am next on the list. However I never take medications and it is VERY rare that I get sick. Now that I wrote that I am doomed for sure.

I am planning on hitting the Riverchasers / 72o game this Wednesday night. Not sure what else in on the schedule.. Do not really feel like pimping CC for his Thursday night gig.. although it is a fine game and CC is a good guy. I was reading his blog and I would actually like to see him play like Raveen. I think you have to have alot of balls to play like Raveen and you also need to be good at switching it up. It is not an easy style especially on a full table but he seems to do well. I think CC should play more like Don or Scott. It would fit him well and he could do good.

I have no idea what else I plan to do with Poker.. been busy lately.. Have not played all week.. and really, since I have not won a hand in three weeks, I am not missing it right now. I am going to try and win a few tokens. Play the 30K 20K HORSE MTT possibly or the bigger Razz MTT.. See if I can make a decent score.. I will have to save a token to try and get into the "Big Game" also.. I beleive that is this Sunday.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Holy HU Match Batman!

So I am not sure if you have been following this but Veneno's X has challenged her to the ultimate poker game.

so your a HU pro lets see what you got. I say i will smoke you so lets play for real. race to 5 if you got any poker guts at all. if i win you never play online poker again. if you win name your price. tic toc tic toc do you have game or just all talk behind a picture of some other girl. post this challenge on your site!!! - Ex Jackass

So a bunch of people have chimed in on what she should do myself included.. So Wolverine Fan posts:

No, you have fun playing heads up and other games of poker. His deal takes the fun out of everything. I think it is a bullshit offer and don't think he can give up something as valuable as poker is to you. Know what I mean? Hope I expressed that all right.

Standard comment. Veneno enjoys poker.. the social aspects of it since she is not very good at the game. heh.

Anyway.. the Ex loser comes back and asks:

How about family, friends, religion and country. I think those things are a little important in the grand scope of life.

Now obviously all of this is part of him trying to control his Ex-Wife and pretty pathetic at that. However I can not even fathom how the guy can talk about Family, Friends, Religion and Country being important. I mean he cheats on his family, breaks it up, and goes off and hooks up with some other chick. Is that the importance of family? Now the kids get to spend time at multiple houses.. I bet the new girlfriend is going to dump his ass anyways.. Ok.. How about religion? Thou Shall not Fuck the Shit out of someone besides your wife? I think that was in there? No? Try reading again.. What a fucking hypocritical comment to make. You know nothing about how to treat the important people in your life so you should just shut the fuck up. Enough Said.

Crotch Rot

Is it not ironic that wives never want to see you lying down. I swear it is like a crime to be on your ass when your married. As soon as I get comfortable on the couch.. "Honnnnney, can you get me something useless that I could get myself"..

I have probably two days of work this week scheduled and then it is off to the job hunt. I booked 30 last week which is good enough. I am thinking of heading out to Foxwoods on Wednesday.. take some of my new found ad wealth and play the 80+20/MTT and a couple buyins at the cash table.

I am sending good wishes and luck to Smokkee.. I was reading the SNG Machine and hearing horror stories.. now usually when I see Smokkee getting cracked I cackle in glee and rub it in. However when he starts to run WORSE than me then I have to take pity. I have grown to like Ray Ray since the AJ debockle and I hope he fries some fish big time today!!!!! Go get 'em Ray!

Time to shower and head to the office. I think I am getting some weird crotch rot disease. I swear my thighs are chaffing like a motherfucker lately.. not since that hot Vegas walk with Ick and the Canadians have my thighs been sweating and itching so much.. It is like 15 degrees here so I can not blame it on the weather.. really annoying. Later on boys and girls.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Bill Rini

You know the more I read Bill Rini the more I like him. He has a nice post about Full Tilts new payment processor. I agree with everything he says. My first thoughts on seeing the "steps" to signup was "What the hell is with a 6$ fee on a 20$ deposit".. Bill of course did the research and has outlined both all the fee's involved and the possability that this new service will be shut down also. Now if I could only get Bill to go off on a crazy ass rant against someone!!! What do you say Bill? Cmon! You can do it! It is fun, Just ask Hoy! Do you even play poker Bill? Not sure I have seen a post about a hand you have played.. ahh well..

I have been reading about all of the scandals that Bluff magazine has been involved in lately.. Nothing seems all that scandalous and I really have no opinion. I do not read Bluff. I do not read Card Player. I might pick up one of these types of magazines if my boy Pauly is writing something or some hobo hands one to me in front of the poker room.. None of it really interests me.

I will say I have met Jason once before and he made a great impression on me. He was a very nice, interesting, standup kind of guy, and if he called Daniel out on something then so be it.

It appears that Daniel is a bit of a hot head anyways.. mixing it up with alot of people lately. I appreciate the way Daniel plays poker. It is great how he makes some amazing reads on the hand his opponent has. You should do what I do though Daniel -- Flame 'em and leave 'em. No appologies. Oh.. yeah, I have appologized a few times.. I gotta stop doing that. Screw you all you know you love it anyways.

Oh yeah, and Daniel, just because Fluxer thinks your gay does not mean I do! Really man, it is ok to be effeminant these days.. The world has all gone metro and it does not mean your gay. Also if you are.. there is nothing wrong with that.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Breaking News, Um.. Ya, Who Cares..

I am, to the concept of Full Tilt Poker, what Hugh Hefner was to Playboy in its early years. By that, I mean that I think my real life mirrors how the site is marketed to players.

Learn, chat, and play with the pros? That’s me, me, and me. - Michael Craig

So Michael is a paid writer for Full Tilt now. Ug! I really liked Full Tilt too.. Oh well, I guess I can still play there.. I like his arrogant and hopefully tongue-and-cheek lead in. I mean what the fuck have you ever done in poker? Learning from you would be like.. well.. learning from CC.. Slow and Painful, and just plain wrong.

To be fair I have never seen Michael play in a game he has taken seriously so he might be a good player.. however his contention that "Because I hang with good players.. well, I must be good".. is just riddiculous. So if I hung around a great professional Football player I would suddenly be Payton Manning.. Sorry bud, you need some skill to start with.

I guess I might be too hard on the guy.. It is funny though. As big of a dick as I can be to people sometimes when I think they have played horribly.. I normally have good intentions and I am ALWAYS there for my friends. I have a great way of picking friends. I have the .. for better words.. Fucktard-dar. Sort of like Gaydar but it detects Fucktards. I have NEVER in my life known it to be wrong. When I first saw Michael Craig it starting blaring and nothing I have seen him do since has shut it down. So good luck to Full Tilt.. I hope they hire more fucktards. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Foxwoods Schedule

I may go up and try out an MTT at Foxwoods this week. It appears as if work for my current side-job might be drying up this week.. I nailed the interview for the job halfway to Foxwoods but then some tool that worked for them before decided to come back. Bastaaaad! So while I have been making good scratch I really will need to look for a job this coming week.. unless that side gig from an old employer comes through.. hmm.. I could be semi-unemployed for a long time..

I was reading NYHotties this week. Alexa is a hot escort from New York City.. while I have not met her or anything she does have ties in the blogger community. I also like how she writes. It is pretty facinating. Anyway she mentioned that I could turn myself into a diamond from this place. You know what kind of mad diamond my fat ass would make? Shit man that would have to be like ten carrots at least!!!! Booyah!

Friday, February 02, 2007

Nah, Boston did not Overreact

It looks like a bomb to all the Homeland Security "experts" but to my 3 year old daughter: a light bright.

It had the same components of a bomb.. like.. um wires.

I think those punks should fry.. cause they are long haired hippies.. and we should kill anyone who is a long haired hippy.

I can not state seriously enough that seriousness of this offense. Stop fucking spamming me with god damn ad's everywhere!

Get some sleep bitch.
Mooninites rule!
The Moon Rules
Bomb Hoax
What the fuck is this retard saying?

If you feel like seeing the terrorists then there are many episodes on You Tube.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

This is a paid advertisement for Review Me

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The fine folks at at Cardroom Supply are advertising their fine Cardroom Tables. A funny thing happened to me once on a poker table. I won. I know amazing. I have actually read a bunch of blogger reviews of Cardrooms poker tables and everything I have heard so far is good. Excellent quality. Exactly what was ordered.

One blogger mentioned how great it was that Cardroom Supply pays for shipping for any order over $100.. I agree.. if it is Free it is for me. He bought the 10 Player Texas Holdem Folding Table Top which is a full 10 player table with padding ALL around. Chips aren't included. This Trifold Table Unfolds Easily and will Lie Flat on any Playing Surface. Once Unfolded, this table, complete with Ten Drink holders and Felt Playing Field, is the Perfect Surface for all of your Home Casino Need.

I still have not gotten any free product from them *hint* hint* but from what I have read I would recommend them if your looking for a table or any other poker supplies.

I keep forgetting..

I guess I am on a roll today. Iggy does Uber Posts.. I do Uber number of posts. Did you all hear about what happened in Boston the other day? I am listening on the radio and highways are being shut down and trains stopped. Apparently someone as a publicity stunt for one of my favorite shows: Aqua Teen Hunger Force placed fake "bombs" all over the city. Now when I initially heard about this I was thinking: What the fuck are these crazy idiots doing?!?!?! I mean planting something that looks like a bomb on bridges and in train stations!!!!! However I reconsidered when I saw the "Bombs"..

Now while I think the final Jihad might start with a fuck you and a cartoon charecter.. I actually can not even fathom a mayor that is so moronic or a police chief or anyone who would even call those light bright looking things "suspicious". I mean give me a break. Now the two guys who possibly had a slight lapse in good judgement might face 2-5 years in prison for terrorism? I think the mayor and all of the idiots in the city should face the electric chair for stupidity. At the very least they are all up for a Darwin award in my book.. at least I hope so..

I mean does this look like a smart man? There is a reason we call him Mayor Mumbles. He is a moron. Only reason he gets elected year after year is only inbread Southie people can vote for him or something like that.. I can understand if it was a black box with a small picture on it but this seems a little overboard to me.

Mr. Diety

I like this show alot.. Of course Satan would be a woman.. Just ask Obie.. heh.

I am so proud!

If you have not read this yet.. well.. All I can say is "Magnifico!". Fire! Yelling! Icy acerbic name calling!!! Hoyazo really gets the idea of ranting!! My little boy has grown up and I am so proud. I have a tear in my eye.

I do disagree with his contention that people will not call an all in with A2 as I was crippled in the Mookie the past week when I re-raised HUGE against someone and they though shoving with A2o was a peachy keen idea, of course they beat the fuck out of my queens but that is another story..

Waffles Invitational

I am thinking we need another weekly blogger game. I know Monday is with Hoy, Tuesday is WWDN, Wednesday is the Mooooooook, Thursday is with CC.. Some Sundays and WPBT and "The Big Game" with MiamiDon.. so Saturday seems free..

I was thinking of a new kind of event. The Waffles Invitational. By invite only. It would be a 2-table MTT. So it would not last too long. I would invite people by the following criteria.

1 - 14 players who I think are good competition. If your a push monkey donkey motherfucker this probably does not include you. I will swap people in and out of this list and may include some of the standout winners of the week.. I.E. If someone scores a final table at a big event, or wins back to back Mookies, or something like that.. Possibly the WPBT winner of the week. Mostly just people who I think play well.

2 - 2 Hotties. What the hell is a poker game without some lady luck? No Bobbie will never be invited at least in this category. I am sure there are plenty of hot female poker players who could fit this role.. otherwise I can leave it open for Love Elf and Carmen every week.

2 - 2 Donkeys. What the fuck is a poker game without dead money? I mean it is kind of fun to beat the best but you need some wildcards in there to make it fun. I hope these two spots constantly get the shit beaten out of them. If I invite you in one of these spots it is not because I liked you. It is because you have surpased all others in your ability to suck this week. You probably will feel honored.

So would anyone be interested? I have not figured out what buyin to use, how often to hold it, or anything like that. I think I know enough good players to fill the 14-spot roll every week.. probably be a few regulars and then some alternates. The Donkey spots will be hard to fill.. choosing just two is going to be a monumental task.