Does it bother you that you are only up so little over so much time? - Jordon
In a lot of ways that is a hard question to answer. I am actually very happy in a lot of ways that I am not in the hole. I know ALTO of people who have played this game and never caught their stride until year 5 or 6. I have heard the stories of large loses until something finally changed and they become winning players and finally made back the huge loses they had initially. Not to mention the perpetual losers who keep dumping thousands of dollars into Wes's banking account.
Anyone who has read this here blog for a while knows I have the potential to put my son down on black-7 and let it ride. I can always have another one, right? I know that the gambooler part of me exists and that is one reason that I have kept my personal finances and my poker finances apart. It is one of the rules that I have stuck to while playing poker.
I also feel like I get poker a lot better than the majority of people out there. I do not consider the time invested in the game to be a waste in the sense that I have learned a lot. I would at least feel comfortable playing against most any player I know. I will not say I could beat anyone out there as many people are better than I am, but I think I would put up a decent game. Like everyone else I have my bad days but for the most part I think I have a solid game that I am proud of. A lot of room for improvement but it has come a long way.
I think one of the best things I have gotten out of playing for the past few years.. the invaluable part if you will, is this blog. I know it is no Tao of Poker but I think it is unique and worth reading. It has put me into contact with a lot of great people and I have had a lot of adventures that I will remember for the rest of my life. I am sure a lot more is coming in the future too. I had a great time playing in the Hoy last night.. just because it was against people I enjoy playing and I could chat it up a little. (**Sorry if I was annoying Soxy! You know I love you! I forgot to ask Jordon if your snipped or not.**)
In a lot of ways I have HUGE standards for being successful in poker. While I respect the hell out of the guys who have been able to grind the roll up to 10K or 20K in the past few years I would hardly consider that successful. I know a lot of people do not blog how much they have made.. but if you have been playing over a year and have not made 70-80K at least then IMHO so what? I can work at a fulltime job and do better than that by a longshot. No offense to any of you who have worked hard and built up something but my notion of "success" in Poker from a monetary perspective is taking down 200K or more a year. Hell I will even take 100K a year playing part-time.. anyone? No? Yes? ok. I totally believe someone like Wes, since I am picking on him, could absolutely do this. I have not seen any Blogger who is this successful though. I am sure there might be some but both in public and private chats I just have not seen it yet.
As we all know my main problem with being successful at this game, even at the low standards of the rest of you, is my TILT factor. The game just drives me insane. I have come to the point where I mentally realize that shit happens but I still can not take it well.
**** SKIP BAD BEAT SECTION IF YOU WANT ****
Might as well get some venting out. Last night alone was pretty fun as I got 3-card rivered in Stud twice. I have JJJ showing ON THE BOARD and I get called down by a guy who gets a 5th, 6th, and 7th street Ace to beat me. I start with a 4 card low and a draw to the flush high and lose BOTH when a guy with a ten high gets a 456 on 5th, 6th, and 7th street to beat me.. less we forget our favorite HE, I raise with pocket tens (which I hardly do) and get two callers. The flop comes 356.. nice right? WRONG! The guy with 33 beats me as well as the guy with 66!!! I can understand one set hitting but 3-pairs and two guys hit a two-outer on me at the same time. I also do not have to tell you how my AJ, Ace on the flop, was cracked by T6, bottom pair on the flop. Not necessary.
Crazy shit. Just to throw in some bad plays of mine combined with bad luck, I had two situations where I was short stacked in a tourney, was in late position, had a weak hand but only two people left to act, both people call me and flip over AK, and AQ. Umm. Ok. I totally understand the risk I am taking when raising with crap -- sometimes you need to do this -- but it is crazy the hands I end up against. Just so you do not think that I NEVER suck out.. I tripped up on one of those two hands when I had AJ s000ted and flopped the nut flush. Poker is Rigged. Not just online either.
**** END BAD BEAT SECTION ****
So anyway I am sure you guys have the exact same nights as I just described.. That was actually an average night and most of the time it is a lot worse. Ask JJOK he has seen me play Razz. The point being though that you need to be able to accept these beats and even want them. I totally buy into Mr. Anonymous saying that you want people to play this badly. It is a given. It is true. It is still frustrating and easier said then done. If I get a handle on this it may make all the difference.. who knows. Either that or the Schooling Fish Theory of Poker has a lot of merit and the bad players who chase flushes will ultimately win.
Right now I am enjoying playing live. It is new. Fresh. I do not play with a Bankroll.. I just grab a few hundred from home, run off to Foxwoods, and play for the enjoyment of the game. Sure I get sucked out on and one of these times I will lose. So far not having a bankroll and just playing to play has worked though. Winning of course is fun. One of the things that has killed me online has been the ole' bankroll watching. You know the story. You get into that stretch where you start losing a little every night and eventually see your bankroll go down and try and play catchup. Playing live this way I have none of that going on.
Eventually I will probably need to incorporate a live bankroll and start playing the 2/5 games but until then this is working fine. I hate the two hour drive to Foxwoods so I only end up playing once a month or so. In the five sessions I have had so far playing 100$ buyin NL I am up over 9 buyins so that is working out well. Small sample size so it means nothing but feels good. I see the beats I see online playing live but not as often. You basically play one table and slightly tighter (as the table dictates) so with the fewer hands played you will not see the same beats and they will not happen to you as often. I still have felt myself tilting at times.. and with the slower pace of the game been able to bring it back and turn those times into winning sessions.
So with my lofty goals and short comings I may never win a lot of money playing. I may not play online anymore. I may score huge in an MTT. Who knows what the future might hold. I do think I will be playing for a while to come. I am pretty sure I will stay break-even at worse and who knows I may actually win something I consider worthwhile someday. Does it bother me to be break even or just a little ahead though? With the people I have met and the outlet the blog gives me I have to say "Resoundingly Not!".
*** SideNote: Sorry I missed the Bash!!!! I am really pissed but the fates conspired and I could not make it. It sounds like it was a great time.
*** SideNote II: I was VERY impressed by Slb's play in the MATH this Monday. He made some EXCELLENT plays that were very Un-Slob like. Well played sir, this post would probably be all about you if Jordon had not asked me this question.