Saturday, December 31, 2005

Happy New Years

Damn online poker. I busted out of an SNG with two hands. AA and AA. I was against a Gutshot Straight draw and two pairs QQ and TT in these hands. I did the odds just to torture myself but the hand I was against two people with pocket pairs I was 82% favorite. The worse hand (TT) won of course. The other hand I was 65% favorite pre-flop against his 9To and 79% on the flop when he was drawing to his gutshot. Why the hell do I bother with raising anyways..

On a lighter note I was playing Cribbage on Yahoo! and someone said that the site was rigged.. who knew..

Friday, December 30, 2005

New Years Musings

As we head forward into the New Year it is important to look back upon the mists of history to see where we might guide our ship in the future. It has been a hell of a poker career so far. The first year was filled with success and only success. As that came to a close the second year was filled with mostly insanity. However there were a bunch of great moment in-between the craziness.

Playing live at Foxwoods was an excellent experience. I enjoyed meeting my first Blogger and I do not think I could do much better.

Winning a “Saturday with Pauly” blogger event was also a high point. It means a lot to win any tournament but the better players at the events are people I really respect. Being able to get the cards to take them out was incredibly fulfilling. Not to mention busting out the Guiness touting dwarf and crippling my favorite Doctor. To top that all off I actually scored high enough in the entire competition to say I was seventh in all Bloggerdome. It impressed me since I am usually a solid middle of the pack kind of guy.

I think as I move forward into the next year I am going to let things be as they may. I am going to try and have a little more fun and take the poker a little easier. Probably play less of a daily schedule and more of whatever might be fun. I will try and turn the insanity down a little and play more ring games. I want to play more than just HE this year. Mix my games and types of games up a lot more. I still want to play MTTs but I think I will try and get a real bankroll going through limit ring games and once I have something established I will play more tourneys. I want to play a lot more live. I enjoyed it a lot and still need to add a live tourney to my resume. I intend to do this soon. There actually is a NL/HE tourney for $45/15 on Monday the 2nd of January. The downside is it starts at 8AM. So the easiest way to get to it would be hitting the NL tables at 1AM and then waiting for the sun to rise. That could be fun. I also have a theory that I play better online poker when I have something else to keep my attention. So I want to get a TV back into my office and have something to watch while waiting for hands.

I think the past two years have been a mix of extremes of both sides of the poker spectrum and the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. So here is to finding out how good I really am in the next year and of adding more balance to life and enjoying things more.

It Lives

Sorry I have been gone.. just kind of crazy over the holidays. I cracked one of my back teeth and so now I am existing between states of pain and ice induced relief. I had to laugh again when I noticed I did not mention that Gordo was playing in a Stud game. The smart people picked that fact up. Sean from Aniawhatchamacallit blog mentioned that most stud tables are eight players.. any seven other people want to see what happens when they run out of cards? It is good to see him back anyways..

Christmas was weird. It really drove home a lot of the reasons my wife and I can not get along. We just see every situation from different eyes. Some of our friends come by for Christmas which was nice. However we had an interesting altercation where she attack me with a spoon and freaked out into hysterics and then asked a few minutes later why I was downstairs ignoring everyone. Hello? You attacked me, right? Nooo.. just joking. I guess I can not take a joke. Some hands are way too hard to play. Hold-em or Fold-em?

My sister and I did not exchange gifts for the first time ever. I guess I pissed her off too much during Thanksgiving. I was contemplating buying her a prison outfit but held off. Her birthday is coming up though so that leaves some options.

Life keeps on going.. the question is do I really want to live this way when I am Fourty? Fifty? Sixty? Is the way we live really benefiting anyone? So many things to think about.. oh well..

Friday, December 23, 2005

I needed a good laugh..

I was working late today and chatting it up with Gordo and Veneno. I needed a good laugh and Gordo provided an incredibly good one. I think I shot coke out of my nose.

16:31] gordo: 9 players left
[16:32] SirFWALGMan: whats that pay 20$?
[16:32] gordo: they didn't put us all on the same table though
[16:32] gordo: royal vegas is weird

If that was not funny enough I then try and share the joke with Veneno.

[16:33] SirFWALGMan: Gordo is mad because the site wont let 9 players sit on 1 stud table
[16:33] veneno: ?
[16:33] veneno: why?
[16:33] SirFWALGMan: OMG
[16:33] SirFWALGMan: this is worth a writeup
[16:33] SirFWALGMan: duh!
[16:33] veneno: yes
[16:33] veneno: explain

Finally I had to explain to these HE dorks some simple math.

[16:32] SirFWALGMan: ya you cant play stud with 9 players can you?
[16:32] SirFWALGMan: 9x7=63?
[16:32] SirFWALGMan: 52 card deck?
[16:32] SirFWALGMan: hmm?
[16:32] SirFWALGMan: ya?
[16:33] gordo: oh yeah
[16:33] gordo: i'm a hold em dork
[16:33] gordo: lmao
[16:33] SirFWALGMan: LMAO
[16:37] veneno: lol

Thanks for all the laughs kids. If this is not proof of Felicia's theory I have no idea what is.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

People get STUPIDER every night

I played a little limit HE for the hell of it. In the course of 4 hands I got sucked out four times and lost ten bucks. The great hands that beat me are 2nd and 3rd pairs that either call 2-3 bets pre-flop with J2 or some idiot hand, flop the 3rd pair, turn either a set or nothing and then proceed to river a flush/quads/set on the river. I can not BELEIVE how bad people play and how much they get paid off.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005


Booyah! I AM A LUCKBOX! Scott told me so. Actually he said to be lucky you must feel lucky. All Yoda like. So I decide to be lucky.

I play JT for a 3xBB raise when I am low on chips. It is not necessarily the best play but alot of people are in and I like JTc. The flop comes a very nice all club array. I AM THE LUCKBOX! It is also, fortunatly, all low cards. Why is this good? Because the other guy has 88 and decides the best way to protect his dead hand is to go all in. I am up to 4K now.

It is down to three people and I call a min raise with 65o. I kind of am channeling Doyle Brunson in the Tourneyment of Champions HU final table play. The flop comes a SWEEEEET Q66. I AM A LUCKBOX! The other guy has TT and I bust him.

The final LUCKBOX move is as follows. I flop three hearts with an A4, the Ace of hearts. I have a 10K vs 3K chip lead or something along those lines. So on the flop I decide I might as well put my boy all in. He flips his Rockets with a triumphant little smile and the turn does not help me so I yell at the monitor "I WILL WIN BECAUSE I AM THE LUCKBOX!". Guess what.. the river card was a heart. I sucked out and took first in my SNG. I like being a LUCKBOX!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

I listened to Veneno and I lost

I know. Do not listen to Veneno. However, she is my, follower, tagalong, friend, pal, whatever.. anyway.. I needed to show her how wrong she was. It is a hobby of mine. Showing less skilled players that I AM ALWAYS RIGHT DAMMIT!

Anyway, that led to me going out with 99 vs 55 vs AT. AT spikes a T on the river and that is it for poor sir. Out on the bubble with .. let's repeat class.. "THE BEST HAND LIKE ALWAYS WHEN THE MONEY GOES IN!". The two guys against me only had to call off half and a fifth of there stacks respectively also. I had 760 in chips at the time vs 2K and 5K. The guy with 5K probably should have called since he was getting 3-1 on his money, although AT in a 3-way pot is usually not that strong. At least I am not letting these games bother me much.

The hand I knew I was beat on the 55 guy was in again. He re-raises me pre-flop with 55 when I have TT and of course spikes his miracle 5. I knew he had something big because he did not want to be it. Even though there were straight draws on the board. Slowplaying is cool but if your like this guy and can not fold if someone catches up to you need to be careful.

Veneno was cool about it too and she agreed to paid for her lesson. She credited my account with the 5.50 for the game. What a nice kid!

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Phil Gordon

I think someone should do this and ask him about his Roshambo match vs Mrs. Head for a half hour..

Phil's latest book, "Little Green Book" will be in bookstores nationwide on October 4th. You can preorder on

A portion of the proceeds from this book are donated to CRPF.

For people that would really like to make a difference, donate $1,000 and forward your phone number along with the confirmation email from CRPF. Phil will call you and answer all the questions you have about Celebrity Poker or strategy for 30 minutes!

Best of luck and thank you for supporting the Cancer Research and Prevention Foundation.

BTW - If you want to donate for real go to Phil's site.

Fuck, I am Phil!

Except from Iggy of a Phil Helmouth Article:

Bluff: You once said that if there was no element of luck in poker, you'd be unbeatable. Do you still believe that?

Phil: I will say this: if you watch all the telecasts, it's staggering. I always had the best hand. There was one exception -- in all those frickin' programs -- when I happened to hit a 10 against Johnny Chan. I had 10-10 against his K-K and I hit a 10 on the river. But you have to understand that when you're a champion, you always have the best hand in the big pots. That's what separates me from the rest. Therefore, it stands to reason that I'm more likely to get unlucky than lucky, because I don't usually need to get lucky to win a hand. That's the other guy's job.

Does that sound like a SirF Post or what? Ouch..

Friday, December 16, 2005

Sir Plays the 20/4 on Full Tilt

sirfwalgman: I busted a buyin on FT
sirfwalgman: I push 5 bucks
sirfwalgman: with Gutshot and Flush Draws
sirfwalgman: guy with just straight draw calls
sirfwalgman: he catches the one straight that doesnt include me
sirfwalgman: the poor girl with TPTK was just doomed anyways
sirfwalgman: lol
sirfwalgman: I love every site
sirfwalgman: because I get my money in with the best hand
sirfwalgman: every time
sirfwalgman: (almost)
sirfwalgman: lol
sirfwalgman: ive decided to win this 9K game
sirfwalgman: it is my destiny

sirfwalgman: 381 and I am seated
sirfwalgman: I have changed my Icon
sirfwalgman: from Angry Monkey to Happy Plant
sirfwalgman: I totally forgot about happy lawn gnome

sirfwalgman: 381 entrants
sirfwalgman: 2K+ for first
Scott: nice
sirfwalgman: 41$ for 26th
sirfwalgman: 1 all in already
Scott: homany pays?
sirfwalgman: 36
sirfwalgman: sorry
Scott: ick
sirfwalgman: 36th Pays $41
sirfwalgman: im all about first man all about first
sirfwalgman: i cant stop laughing about the Phil Gordon Story
Scott: ???
sirfwalgman: 1 all in already
sirfwalgman: Mrs Human Head Played Phil Gordon at Roshombo
Scott: yeah I read that one
sirfwalgman: its so funny
sirfwalgman: especially since Phil Gordon is my new Poker Hero

sirfwalgman: 5 minutes in. Have played zero flops
sirfwalgman: ultra aggro table
Scott: shit in the poker stars MTT stuff I might not get one in until 2nd level
Scott: 3rd sometimes
sirfwalgman: lol
sirfwalgman: I like to limp early and often
sirfwalgman: when the cards dictate it
sirfwalgman: 40 entrants down
sirfwalgman: 349 to go

sirfwalgman: I watched Doyle in the Masters Championship the other night.. he tilted his guy HU BIG TIME
sirfwalgman: I was SOOOOO impressed

Scott: I titl players so fucking bad I have been banned from games
Scott: I had a guy send me a 4 page e-mail telling me never to comeback
sirfwalgman: lol
sirfwalgman: If I won as much as you I would send myself that email too
sirfwalgman: level 2: 326 Remaining
sirfwalgman: still have not played a hand

sirfwalgman: ak, qq, 55.. 55 flopped the set before the big bets
sirfwalgman: he now has 7600 cheeps
sirfwalgman: and is the cheep leader
sirfwalgman: qq put his whole stack in with an Ace on the board
Scott: lol
sirfwalgman: oooh I may get to play my second hand
sirfwalgman: ATo
sirfwalgman: in MP.. little early for my liking but I have not played anything
sirfwalgman: OMG
sirfwalgman: some guys goes all in with KJ
sirfwalgman: and AQ with overs calls
sirfwalgman: umm.. ya, AQ, thats a good time to fold
sirfwalgman: level 3: 286 remaining
sirfwalgman: 1255 chips left
sirfwalgman: 2 hands so far

sirfwalgman: I think the secret to me playing good poker is... A cable TV in my office
sirfwalgman: ooh I may get to play my 3rd hand
sirfwalgman: I am so excited
sirfwalgman: dammit
sirfwalgman: fucking bluff steal raise
sirfwalgman: 2 all ins
sirfwalgman: qj, tj, 66
sirfwalgman: qkt flop, q river
sirfwalgman: sorry fives
sirfwalgman: sixes
sirfwalgman: time for me to get a run of cards about now..

sirfwalgman: AA
sirfwalgman: 3xBB raised
sirfwalgman: everyone gonna fold
sirfwalgman: yip
sirfwalgman: i should steal from the cutoff
sirfwalgman: this tables WAY tight
sirfwalgman: or check-raise my aces
sirfwalgman: lol
sirfwalgman: Level 4: 261 left
sirfwalgman: 30/60 blinds
sirfwalgman: 1255 cheeps

Scott: this is my most favorite post I ever wrote
sirfwalgman: a8 BB
sirfwalgman: lol
Scott: read it at break
sirfwalgman: k
sirfwalgman: 30 mins till break
sirfwalgman: A8 twice
sirfwalgman: BB and SB
sirfwalgman: its a sign!
sirfwalgman: 214 of254
sirfwalgman: not too good
sirfwalgman: better than 255 though
sirfwalgman: semi-bluff raising in the CO
sirfwalgman: everyone folds and I make some scratch
sirfwalgman: 1330
sirfwalgman: 196 of 247 now
sirfwalgman: SirF Rulez
sirfwalgman: took 2 limpers and the blinds
sirfwalgman: SWEET

sirfwalgman: AA again
sirfwalgman: raised 3xBB
sirfwalgman: flopped a set
sirfwalgman: AA vs A9.. he was drawing dead
sirfwalgman: 2625
sirfwalgman: the semi-bluff check-raise worked well
sirfwalgman: I.E.
sirfwalgman: I bet 180 pre-
sirfwalgman: I see the flop
sirfwalgman: I bet 100 into a 400 pot
sirfwalgman: I get raised
sirfwalgman: then I come over the top for 600 more
sirfwalgman: why cant people fold A9?

sirfwalgman: this cock keeps raising every freaking hand
sirfwalgman: (he's playing the rooster)
sirfwalgman: he has dropped 4000 in 3 minutes
sirfwalgman: flopped tp weak kicker
sirfwalgman: T
sirfwalgman: i am super bluffing
sirfwalgman: all in
sirfwalgman: with a flusg board
sirfwalgman: I was ahead anyways
sirfwalgman: 4870 for me
sirfwalgman: he had Q5
sirfwalgman: and calls my 1800 dollah bet
sirfwalgman: fuck
sirfwalgman: I am shaking now
sirfwalgman: lol
sirfwalgman: ADRENELIN RUSH
sirfwalgman: It was a bet based on the read that A) This guy lost 5K in 5 mins, B) He bluffed alot, and C) Fuck it.
Scott: you won it?
sirfwalgman: ya
sirfwalgman: for sure
sirfwalgman: 4870 chips now
sirfwalgman: 80 blinds
sirfwalgman: 206 left
sirfwalgman: I am in decent shape

sirfwalgman: he calls 1800 with Q5, vs my QT
sirfwalgman: he was right
sirfwalgman: I was bluffing
sirfwalgman: but he still didnt have me beat
sirfwalgman: fuck him anyways
sirfwalgman: I did the classic I have a flish draw move
sirfwalgman: and he called me anyways
sirfwalgman: I call his 300 bet
sirfwalgman: then I push when the 3rd heart hits the board
sirfwalgman: its a classic tell online
sirfwalgman: lol
sirfwalgman: now I dont want to play a hand for 3-4 more levels
sirfwalgman: I am within spitting distance of first place
sirfwalgman: 3K
sirfwalgman: oh oh cock is out
sirfwalgman: QQ vs AA
sirfwalgman: 7K to zero in less than a level

sirfwalgman: 99
sirfwalgman: calling 200 raise
sirfwalgman: crappy flop
sirfwalgman: crappy turn
sirfwalgman: 8 mins to the break
sirfwalgman: 190 left
sirfwalgman: gnomes scare me
sirfwalgman: bluffed at a pot with K9
sirfwalgman: won
sirfwalgman: 4760
sirfwalgman: 39 of 177
sirfwalgman: 5 mins to break
sirfwalgman: I took down a Gnome btw, I am very proud
Scott: lol

sirfwalgman: ako
sirfwalgman: EP
sirfwalgman: scary
sirfwalgman: some bitch went all in
sirfwalgman: 1260 to call
sirfwalgman: 1300 pot
sirfwalgman: 2 overs
sirfwalgman: down to 3500
sirfwalgman: on AK and AQ
sirfwalgman: maybe I am playing too weak
sirfwalgman: 55 loses me another 300
Scott: right as i get dealt 55
sirfwalgman: lol
sirfwalgman: 3185 and the first break commences
sirfwalgman: down 1700 with 3 good hands
sirfwalgman: arnt good hands the bane of poker players, lol
sirfwalgman: great hands and bad hands are easy to play
sirfwalgman: 158 left
sirfwalgman: your truely is in the middle of the pack
sirfwalgman: at 78th

sirfwalgman: raised A9 pre-
sirfwalgman: 1 caller
sirfwalgman: bets out 780 on the flop
sirfwalgman: I think I am being picked on
sirfwalgman: so I am going to take advantage of that
sirfwalgman: very soon
sirfwalgman: im out
sirfwalgman: got too cute with an OESD
sirfwalgman: and TPTK couldnt lay it down
sirfwalgman: 1 card away from doubling up though
sirfwalgman: LMAO

Naming is Hard

I am trying to come up with a good name for DA but nothing is clicking yet. Nothing inspires that "Oh Yeah!" kind of feeling. I will post some of the reject ideas in case someone needs a name for there Blog. Let me know if you like any of them:

Double Ass's Gay Blog
Suck my Wank O'Riely
Curz Dogs Bitch
Waffles > As

Anyway, I shall continue to research DAs previous posts, and other people's posts about him and come up with something good.. I hate to settle for second best. Please feel free to make any suggestions in the comments..

I live..

I have returned from my sleep study. It was strange as hell. I felt as if I was awake all night but I guess I slept. I am tired as hell from a few hours of sleep but I have some weird energy thing happening. Anyway.. it was interesting. Especially the drive home, in the ice, at 6AM, with a donut tire. The 180 spin on the turn was probably the best.

However good things abound.. I am going to play a 24/4 MTT on Full Tilt tonight. I think it would be fun to take a shot at a decent payday. I also have been tasked with renaming DoubleAs Blog. BWahaahahaha! If you did not read the back story, DA held a contest to see who could guess what place he would bust out in the WSOP event. Of course being the genius I am I said "21 - Blackjack!". I was close enough, and the other contestants were deadbeats, so I get to rename the site. I fully intent to take the full 48hr deadline period to decide on a suitable name.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

So Tire-d

Why is my life so complicated? I am not really sure about this.. one theory I have is that I was Hitler in my last life but somehow this does not make sense. I am driving to work this morning as I do most mornings and about 100 feet from my place of employment I hear a boom and the road suddenly becomes extremely bumpy. Now from past experience I know this can mean only one thing – FLAT TIRE. So I turn into my work and hop out of my car to see what happened. Well, let me tell you, this was no Fix-A-Flat jobby. Huge sections of the tire had holes in them that looked as if the Loch Ness monster had wanted a snack. I plan on changing the tire myself during lunch.

I go out to my car to change my tire. Now this is not a common occurrence for me. I am lucky if I can change a light bulb and tires are at my top skill level. I received some advice beforehand about not jacking the car on ICE, something about slippage or some sort of nonsense. I decide to heed this advice and move the car over to a dry area. I open the trunk and get the car-lifty thingy. This is easy stuff! Nothing to it. I am a man! So I open the storage area for the tire and pull that out. It was covered with soda from some cans that spilled in my back seat but no worries. I then try to get the handle thingy that operates the car-lifty thingy. It is plastered to the bottom of my car in a two inch film of coke-glue. I am finally able to get it lose after breaking one snow scraper and prying it out.

Now I do not know what kind of car you have but my car is a Subaru. Apparently people in Subaruland are extremely smart They make this bar that operates the car-lifty things that looks as if it should work. It has a hook, and a square bend in the middle that seems like you could just keep turning it and the car would go up. Be not deceived by the demon spawn because that thing does not work right. Either that or I need some more mechanical aptitude. I finally ended up using the handle end to turn the crank one rotation at a time, removing it after each turn, and placing it back in on the other side. After about fifteen minutes of showing my plumbers crack to any passing motorists I stand up and marvel at my work. The car is suspended in air. Woo hoo! Now we are talking.

So I go to the back of the car to find the wheel-removal-thingy. Umm.. where could it be hiding? Come on, this is no time for hide and seek. Damn mechanical nuisance. I march back into my workplace and ask a co-worker for a jack. Between smirks and concerned looks he lends me his Audi crowbar. Now that is a cute little setup. The bar is tiny, sort of like an Iggy crowbar. It has a little person crossbar for leverage to. The fine gentleman I work with showed me how to use the crossbar for leverage and I was in business.

I get to the car and try to take off the first nut. It is REALLY tough and is not budging. After consulting my one piece of mechanical knowledge – Left Loosey, Righty Tighty, I try to apply the crossbar skills I had just learned. Unfortunately I do not think I was paying attention enough because I could not figure out how it worked. What to do now? Hmm.. I know! Try a different nut. Same result. Ok, maybe the bottom one is looser? Nahhhhh. So tired and discouraged I decide to use my last resort: Strength! Now I do not have much of this so of course that promptly failed too. Finally I was able to figure out that if I kicked the crowbar hard enough I could loosen the nut and hopefully the car would not fall on my toe. Finally I was able to force all of the nuts to bend to my will. Sweating, tired, heart racing I completed the removal of the tire. I threw it in the trunk along with the car-lifty thingy turner and put the extra tire on. You know the small one? As a bonus the Audi leverage bar provided a much better way to get the car-lifty thingy to go down. I tightened the tire and walla. I went inside, sweaty, and all manly like, and returned the dwarven crowbar. All proud of myself until the gay guy at work say “Why didn’t you just call AAA?”. Fucking bastard! Shut up! I am being MANLY here.

So I am all set until I try to drive to my sleep study tonight. I am HOPING that the tire does not fall off or something. It would not be a whole lot of fun. I also am not sure how air is going to react with my body in this study. I am not much of an air or light kind of guy. So if I survive I will give you an update tomorrow.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

The Color of Money

The hustler isn't what he used to be, but he has the next best thing: a kid who is

Have you ever seen that move .. the color of money. You know the one. About pool players going into pool halls and pretending to not be playahs and then taking the mark for every dollar they have. I feel like Gordo did that to me tonight. We had our first money matches of Cribbage and he kicked my ass. The other night I held my own but tonight was different. I think he set me up. At least it was only ten cents a peg. I am beginning to think that I should not play any card games involving money. I just have a knack for getting beat. Not because I play poorly but because the other person is BOUND to be a luckbox against me. I was getting SEVERLY TILT angry after a while tonight so I quit. I am however going to give Gorodo another shot tomorrow.

I played a little Poker tonight too. Busted out a few bucks I had on Party and Titan. I played some NL/HE. Basically I had pocket 9's that flopped a set and lost to 67 diamonds on the river. Great call idiot. I then had overs that lost to runner-straight on the river. Again, great call. It is tough when your competition is so inferior but every hand they have catches.

Oh well. I probably should quit online poker and play live more often. It would be fun hitting Foxwoods once a month. Has anyone played in any of there weekly tourneys? I beleive there is a $80 tourney and some other one they run every day. If you have played in it let me know how it is and what the final payouts were in your games. I am curious.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


Hmm.. Never played it before. It is fun. I like playing Gordo in this game. It rocks. You should hear the name calling. If any of you b*tches want to play let me know.

If you have not done so yet go to YoSoyVeneno's blog for a tribute to your's truely. It is very creative and turned out super interesting.

Still on the semi-Poker break. I am seriously considering playing most of my Poker live from now on. The run I have had lately online has been brutal. I know you get some of the same stuff live but at least it is fun seeing your opponent cry in person.

I am finishing my sleep study part duex this Thursday. I get to sleep with a machine pumping air into my throat so that my passageways stay open. Sounds like fun. Apparently it could give me a good nights sleep for oohh.. the first time in my entire life, so I am kind of excited.

Life still bites. Way too much stress. I think it is turning me into an insomniac too.. hmm.. that would be interesting, stay up all night, and when you do fall asleep, unable to get to REM land.. hmm.. Perhaps I have already been driven insane..

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Stud Hates Me

Ya, I think it does. Tonight I get knocked out by runner-runner-runner 6's. Now I know the idiots at my table that did not notice me never playing a bad hand all night would think that MAYBE if they caught one pair they could win or something.. however, if they just paid a little attention, they would know I had a good hand. Of course it does not beat a runner-runner-runner river set but thats it besides the point. MTTs. Bah.


I made the money in Titans Freeroll. I went out in 21st place or so for $15. Not bad for free. I got knocked out when I tried to get cute against a MONSTER hand. I have A4 in cutoff and I raise all in. I had 1800 chips left because my pocket 5's lost a race with AK a few hands before. The blinds were like $600 now, so I figure I go and get called by at most 2 people. I get called by two people. I am not sure what the second one had. However, at the river, the other guy turns over THE HAMMER! To kick my ass out of the tourney. Ouch. If I knew it was "The Hammer" I would have folded.


I just finished a totally depressing game of stud in which I went out with two pair on 4th street to a runner-runner-runner-runner straight. I mean I know these people suck but do they have no concept of a crummy hand? I mean the crap people played in this tourney would make you sick.. and .. they kepy catching the miracle one card out they needed. Wow! Serves me right for playing stud with idiots.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Winter Wonderland

It was a dark and stormy night in New England. The snow had been falling for hours and some lightning, hail, and thunder mixed in the make an average day for the region. As always I was busy working away until the wee hours of the night. At eleven o’clock I decide to leave my toils and hesitantly head for my car. My trepidation was caused by the fact that I was low on gas and was sure to run out soon. Why I was driving around on one of the worse nights of the year with no gas, well, my friends, that is just my way.

The car slowly turned over. Barely sputtering and the engine roared to life. For once I had avoided the suckout and was cruising towards home. Until the river card that is. Now I have no idea why I thought the laws of physics would bend for me this one time but the inevitable happened and the car sputtered to a stop. The winds howling around me and the temperature dropping I used my lifeline and called AAA. As a gold card member I was told that I would receive special treatment and they would have someone come by before 3AM. So with my last chance at survival dashed I sat in my car slowly freezing to death in my tee shirt and fall jacket.

Several moments later she rode up on her dark blue stallion. A hero come to rescue me before my frigid yet deserved death. She stood tall in her 4 wheel drive jeep, tight jeans, and even tighter ass. She had no fear as she approached my car to see if she could help. Even though I had a weeks worth of scruff and a ganstah jacket on she bravely approached and offered her assistance. I would find out later that she was an army brat and could kick my ass if need be. What a turn on.

She drove me to the gas station and spoke a strange, mechanic’s language, to the gas troll guarding the bridge. We secured a container and some gasoline and headed back to my broken down steed. We were able to get some gas down its throat, even though it took me a while to find the lever. Perhaps I wanted to prolong this encounter with this enchanting lady. We laughed and joked about things. I told her that I had no mechanical ability even though my father did.. she instinctively said “You must be into computer then”.. I learned that right brained mechanical people lean towards the cerebral sciences. Smart. Tough. Pretty. Mechanical. Wow. What a savior. As she road off into the night she just asked one thing “Pay it forward”. I guess I will never know if she was an angel from heaven or a hero of earth, but I thank her for being a special person on a bad night.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

How about this one CJ..

Ok. I am going to take my break. Really. Its all Veneno's fault. Anyway, how is this for a nice little suckout tonight:

HIM: Q6 S0000000000000000000000ted

ME: 87.8%
HIM: 12.2%

Flop: 782.

ME: 90.6%
HIM: 9.4%

Turn: 6

ME: 95.5%
HIM: 4.6%

And.. you KNOW what the river card was..

Nice quote..

That old saying, ‘it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game’ could never be more apropos. If you ‘play’ the game, not just sit through session after session but actually ‘play’ the game, and play your best game while you’re doing it, you will end up in the + column over a period of time – no matter how bad you’re running right now. You have to give every session your best effort. No whining! Just play the damn game.

Very nice quote from Table Tango

In case some did not get the somewhat self-depricating humor. No, I do not think I am the best poker player in the world, or particularly special, and yes, I love to whine. If you did not like it you would not read it.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

It's Hard Being This Good

Well, I have had it for a bit with Poker. I am going to enjoy a little Poker/Blogging vacation. Only for about a week my dear readers, so you can come read about my pain back around the 15th. I just need a break. I actually will be playing in the Titan Poker 3K Freeroll this weekend, because it is free, but I will not Blog about it unless I take first place.

Drizz asked if I would have been upset if the other guy had turned over Q9 in my hand yesterday. The simple answer is: Nope. The problem with me is I am so good. I am almost NEVER wrong about my reads. It is almost psychic. I do make mistakes and read hands wrong like everyone else. However I would say about 95% of the time I put my money in the middle I have the best hand. The other 4% my opponent has a 5-7% advantage. The last 1% is when I like to bet into Full Houses and Quads. It is a hobby. Everyone has to have one. If you think I am exaggerating just ask Trauma or Veneno, they have seen it up close and personal. Ok, maybe I am exaggerating a tiny bit but not by that much.

It just seems like every time I have the edge I get beat. I am not even getting beat by good draws. Usually someone hits between a 1 and 3 outer on me to win. Sometimes I wish I sucked at Poker. If I was a donkey and was behind every time I put money in the middle it might be easier to take. I have been considering a frontal lobotomy in order to even the playing field but I have not made enough playing poker to justify this.

If you do not understand what I am saying then you’re just not good enough. When you reach my level you will understand. Some day I will reach the next level of Poker.

Level 1: You see what you have and think you have a chance to win with those Aces
Level 2: You see what you have and you know what your opponent has so you think you have a chance to win with that set.
Level 3: You see what you have and you know there is no way the online poker site will let you win with that so you push anyways.
Level 4: You see what you have and you know what your opponent has but you KNOW the online poker site will torture you with a cruel suckout but you push anyways.
Level 5: You know what you have, and you know your opponent has you beat, but you KNOW the site will for sure let you hit your one out because your opponent is on level 4 or below so you push.
Level 6: You just fold every hand except 72o because you ABSOLUTLY know that is the only winning hand in online Poker.

I shall return soon. Until then Via con Dios, mi amigo’s.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Keep Heaping it on..

arg! DONKEY MANIA! Here is a question. You have 89. The flop comes 953. One guy bets his whole stack, you cold call, and the best and brightest player in the world who always gets all the chips in with the best hand and always gets sucked out on comes over the top of you for 60% of your stack.

You A) Think person 1 and person 2 are bluffing and call.
B) Think person 1 is bluffing but what the hell call anyways
C) Fold and lick your wounds
D) Suckout on SirF who has J9 and ends up in 3rd when 89 rivers an eight and 24
runner-runner's a flush.

I also bubbled out of the 180 SNG. I was actually slightly behind on this hand pre-flop. However, can nobody lay down jacks? I dunno. I might just be steaming from the hand before where I was called by A4 after I raise 3x. "EHHHHAHHHHAWWW", yeah, I did that joke before, and called to the river with Ace high nothing.

I dunno what I need to do in order to win.

Monday, December 05, 2005

180 SNG Blues

The last two 180 person SNGs have been the height of frustration for me. I have gone deep in both of them, felt that shiny brass 1K ring at my finger tips only to have it yanked out of my hands by some donkey.. I guess I should be happy that I could beat 170+ people multiple times. I probably should be glad that I played nearly perfect games. I never once sucked out on anyone. Aside from a small mistake with the Jacks I think I played flawlessly.

The JJ hand is a hard one though. The flop only helps someone who should not be in the pot. If you chicken out on the flop and do not bet you do not give your opponent a chance to fold. However, the pot is so large, that any bet that does not commit you to the rest of the hand is too weak. I have no idea how I should have played that flop but I think I would do it again the same way.

Anyhow, it was not the JJ hand that knocked me out of the tourney. It actually was a hand where I was 80% favorite when the money went in. I had amassed enough chips to survive the JJ incident and if my AJ hand stood up against KJ as it normally would then I would be back in the game.

By far I am outplaying my opponents. I am happy with this. However it gets REALLY frustrating. I mean A4? Heeehaww! “What was that? Ohhhhh it was s0000ted, ahh”. Why would you risk 1/3rd of your stack on a hand that only hits a very small percentage of the time? Anything except 3 diamonds, and an A4, or 235, and he HAS to fold to my flop bet. What kind of brain damage do you have to have to think your hand is that good? A9!?!?! That one still stings. One guy in the whole tourney has me covered and he has to fall in love with A9. Heeehawww! “What was that? Ohhhhh it was s0000ted, riiiggghhttt”.

If the donkeys survive the 180 SNG longer than I do what does that make me? Perhaps I should start eating carrots and eeeehawwwing at the moon. Sometimes it is hard to be at peace with the right play. The luckboxes of this world seem to be too numerous to defeat with solid play. I can not even blame it on online poker, just read how Pauly’s Aces got cracked. I guess I will just have to try again tonight..

Sunday, December 04, 2005


Man. Second time I made it deep in the 180SNG only to be donkeyed out. Some JACKASS calls my raise with A4 this time and flops A4x. I have JJ and bluff into him. So I am down to 3K and get knocked out as usual with a 74% favorite hand, AJ vs KJ. Damn. At least I was not bubbled out this time.

Oh yeah, I defeated the evil rest of the world in the US vs ROW games. Of course I bubbled in that game.


Ouch. Just horrible results. 4 for 6 has to be my worse stand. Oh well. Whatcha gonna do. I saw alot of things about my SNG play that sucked. Some was good. I also broke even and am up $39 for the past few days so no complaints.

My last bustout was 78 s00ted vs AJ. He called my all in. I liked the play though. If your going to go all in you might as well do it with 2 live cards. It was a toss up. I probably could have waited a little longer but got a little impatient I guess. Oh well.

SirF: 1 1st, 2 2nd, 1 3rd.
Donkeys: 6

Saturday, December 03, 2005


I played my crabs a little too hard. Doh! Got too aggressive on the bubble. Oh well. The donkeys win another one. Last one. Best I can do is 50%.

SirF: 1 1st, 2 2nd, 1 3rd.
Donkeys: 5

The profit stands at $11, so whatever I make in this final one will be the decider.

Bah Humbug

Not much to say. Flop the nut straight. Bet hard. Other guy has same nut straight with a nut flush draw. Lose entire hand on river. Out in 6th.

SirF: 1 1st, 2 2nd, 1 3rd.
Donkeys: 4


Well, I got a little impatient. So I was taken out in second place. Not much to really say about this one. Used the Anti-Suckout shield and survived until the end. Came in second. Did get beat up a littl early. Also pushed way too hard at the end with second pair. Oh well.

SirF: 1 1st, 2 2nd, 1 3rd.
Donkeys: 3

The Secret

I have figured out the secret of Poker. Come closer. We do not want the Donkeys to hear this. It is very important. Please do not tell anyone else. The secret is: "Close your eyes". YES! You heard it here first. I will not charge you for this information. Please use it at your own discretion. If you find it useful you can always send me a few bucks on Stars.

I have a couple theories on why this works. The first and most obvious one is that if you are not looking the suckouts do not hurt enough. So the Poker Gods(tm) are not amused enough. They enjoy it when each card makes you wince and the river causes you to outright cry. It is fun for them when they give you a straight on the turn, only to give your opponent a flush on the river. If you are not looking they can not be bothered to screw with you. The joy is removed from torturing you and there are plenty of other people who do look at every card.

The other theory I have been mulling around in my head is the fact I am a Power Channeler. Psychic. Energy. You see when I focus on the table I see the cards of my doom and hence bring them into being. If I close my eyes then I can see nothing and I escape my evil power. If only I could think about positive cards in these situations.
This has a very truthful, spiritual feeling to it and could be the cause.

Either way I think I am done with the suckouts and river beats. Ask anyone who has seen me play. I never win the 80% in my favor hands. Even the 97% ones are tough. Trauma, Veneno, Chief, all will attest to the fact that I have the WORSE luck ever. My favorite saying is "If I was not so good at Poker my bad luck would kill me". However, I have figured out why and now as I cower behind my hands until the hand is over I have broken the curse. Not a single bad suckout today. It works kids. Try it.

Either that or I am really am insane.

Final table again finally..

Well I made the final table again. Check these blinds out. I was playing a LHE MTT and was close to first. However with these blinds it was a crapshoot.

So anyway, it was not much money. I made 39x my buyin and took home almost $40. I enjoyed myself and made the final table which is always nice. The hand that took me out was TT vs AQ. He had TT and the flop was 66T.

Take that Donkeys!

My best game yet. I kicked Donkey balls and it felt good! Basically EVERY hand I played flopped perfectly. The 16 outs draws all hit. I basically played a really tough game and won.

SirF: 1 1st, 1 2nd, 1 3rd.
Donkeys: 3

Oh Oh Donkeys winning

SirF: 1 2nd, 1 3rd.
Donkeys: 3

Funny. Funny. Funny. Another thing I am trying to avoid. Pushing pre-flop with hands like JJ. SB raises me. I think it is a steal. I push. He calls. I flip JJ, he flips AA. Wahh.

Next hand though. Five people in. I limp with the Gordo(T7) S00ted. The blinds are $100 so doing this is dangerous but the odds dictate trying. The flop is an amazing straight and flush draw flop. So I push and walla. I hit and am back up to the same chip stack I had before I goofed.

Was short stacked and decided to play with KQ at the end. Busted by AK.


SirF: 1 2nd, 1 3rd.
Donkeys: 2

This one I can not complain about. I have a tendancy, like alot of people, to overvalue TPTK, or in this case TP2ndKicker. Early on I get crippled when my KJ runs up against AJ, not raise pre-flop. Ouch.

I then go out with 22 vs AA. No chips. Pocket pair. Had to try it.

People, let me say this, because it means something. TPTK is not a good hand. It will cost you more than it makes you. Let it go.

Friday, December 02, 2005


One guy takes me out after almost giving me the whole SNG. I have AQ. He has Q8. We both have even chips. The flop is Qxx. He bets, I re-raise him twice what he bet. He calls! Some people just can not lay down. Of course when the 8 on the turn did not scare me and he pushed I called. My bad there. SO I am down to 300 chips. I go all in with K3 and AK against him. He gets me up to 1K chips again. Now here is the good hand. I have A8. The flop is 8T. The turn is a 9. I push. I am fairly sure I am ahead. So he has to call off half or more of his stack. Of course he does with 73 of diamonds. Of course the river gives him a flush. He was 20% at best with one card to go. What a donkey!

SirF: 1 2nd, 1 3rd.
Donkeys: 1


Busted out of Wil's Tourney. I can never freaking spell his name. First or last. Anyhow. I had pocket 4's, three people left to act, so i raise $800 which is over half my stack but only 3xBB. Someone comes over the top of me. I know at best I am 50/50, but I am probably dominated. However, I am left with only 6BB so I decide to call and hope for AK. It turns out to be KK and I do not suckout. Blah!

Back to the SNGs. One more for the night then I am calling it a day.

The Donkey Hand

SirF: 1 2nd, 1 3rd.
Donkeys: 0

I got cheated out of first by the BIGGEST donkey ever. I raise 1K pre-flop with QQ and he decides it is a GREAT idea to raise me all in with the DONKEY HAND: KQo. Of COURSE he flops a king and I get four to a flush but never improve. DONKEYS! I am getting sicker of you ever day! Anyway, at least I cashed. Back to Wil's tourney. Hope to get some help there. Have been sucked out on once so far. So not too bad yet. At least Kat and her horseys are at my table to keep me company!

Thursday, December 01, 2005


Took second in an SNG. Could have had first. Made some good and bad plays. Got lucky. Got unlucky. I actually feel good about even making the money. The blinds were up to $200, I had 1K left and was doooomed. However, I came back, horded my large stack, watched alot of people go out, and finished up second. So nine of these left to go. Score so far:

Sir: 1-2nd, Donkeys: 0.

The bankroll stands are $128 for anyone who is counting also.

10/1 SNGs

I am going to play a few of these on Star. About ten to be exact. Try to build the bankroll somewhat responsibly. Best case: up to $500 by the end, worse case: down $100. We shall see. I tend to be good at SNGs and think I can probably win 7 of 10. I think something like 2 1st, 1 2nd, and 4 3rd. This is my goal. We shall see. After that I am going to go back and try the 25/NL tables.


Back to work today. Cool. Can makeup the days off. Freezing my ass off. Waiting for AAA to send a truck. What the hell. Battery died. Not a good week.