Lets turn the sands of time forward...
I have spiraled further down the path of morbid sense of humor. I never thought I could go further down the path. I have always loved shows like Monty Python “’Tis But a Flesh Wound!”, Black Adder, “I want you to walk forward ten paces, step on that land mind, throw yourself 30 feet in the air, and land over there”. Last night on the ride home I was thinking how different bloggers might pass away in their old age. Here are a few of the untimely deaths I have come up with for you:
BadBlood: While playing in a Casino in Vegas he suddenly succumbs to Roid Rage and while trying to take out six cops, and doing a good job at it, he is shot to death and his chips are confiscated by the casino.
AlCantHang: Well this is a no-brainer. Lando and Al are having one of their late night binges by the pool in Aruba. Lando decides to try his swimming trick while drunk again and starts to drown. Al being the good friend he is dives in after him and their entangled bodies are found at the bottom of the pool the next day. Rumors soon start flying as to how they got that way.
Pauly: He is doing a tour for his latest best selling fiction book about Poker, Babes, and Booze. Little does he know that a fan of his had built up this elaborate imaginary relationship with him. Unfortunately some small reply he makes about one of her comments in his Blog causes her to spiral downward into a drug induced, paranoid delusional, schism in which Pauly has destroyed her life. She, rightly so, shoots him dead at his book signing.
Grubby: After years of pulling the slot machine handle he develops a clot in his right arm which dislodges and gives him a massive stroke which kills him instantly.
Iggy: Playing a high stakes game in a back alley poker house he wins an amazing pot with four of a kind A’s vs four of a kind K’s. Unfortunately the midget he won it off of does not like losing and pulls out his pocket knife, jumps up over the table, and plunges it through Iggys heart. His last words heard are “Oh the Humanity!”.
Aeq: After years of getting ahead in a very successful corporate law firm, I.E. Sleeping with the Boss, he tries to get cute and blackmail her. She hits a speed dial entry for her a hit man and he ends up sleeping with the fishies.
And so as to not to leave the readers out, BigChiefTokem: Eaten by an Alaskan Polar bear.
Finally your favorite Sir Waffle: After several years of success and amassing a small fortune playing Poker Sir Waffle goes on an all night binge of the highest stake NL poker and loses it all. In an attempt to build back his bankroll he borrows millions from a local loan shark and puts it all on BC in the NCAA. This does not work out as planned and that’s it for Sir.