I do not think I would have posted the hand I had vs Sean at all except for the fact that it bothered me. I had to think through why it bothered me and posting and hearing people comment is the best way for me to get things out. The reason it bothered me was because, honestly, I like Sean from reading his Blog and respect his opinion and could tell he was at least annoyed at the hand.
If it had been someone I did not read every day and have a good deal of respect for I would not have even thought twice about it. I have made much worse bets than this for much worse reasons before.
Some that come to mind is sucking out on Felicia’s Aces. That hand really bothered me. I made a mistake with a King in hand and one on the board, and she did the right thing in trying to make me pay. I hit my 2-Outer and happened to win. Again the hand bothered me because I like to think I know Felicia a little. I read her a lot and like her as a person from what I read, and really respect her opinion.
Hands like these do not nearly bother me as much when they are against people I do not know at all. One hand like that I can remember is a recent one with 9’s. I had about half a stack left. I put out a $2 bet pre-flop with two people left to go. The guy after me raises to $5, and the guy after him re-raises. I think about it and make the reckless move of putting the rest of my $10 into the pot. Both people call me immediately. The cards look bad as it is AA vs JJ vs my puny 9’s. I was hoping for at least one AK. However the Poker Gods are kind to me that day and I spike a nine on the flop.
I felt a little bad about my extremely bad play being rewarded but not even close to what I feel when it is someone who I read a lot.
Poker is a cruel game. Even the best NL players make the wrong reads. I am not saying I am even close to good at NL. However there is not a game I see where someone either makes the wrong call with a hand, or tries to bluff a pot and gets called. It seems the nature of the game. Sometimes your good play costs you money and other times your marginal or down right horrible plays make you a lot. It is the nature of a game where you can put it all on the line without knowing what the final few cards will be. So this is the last I am saying on the hand. I am sure I will get over it soon.
So maybe I should stop playing with Bloggers, or at the very least become a hardened stripper. Either that or get some more self-esteem. I am such an idiot to let this bother me at all. What the hell is wrong with me? I doubt Felicia or Sean would throw me a quarter if I was a bum on the street. Ok, maybe they would, they seem like nice people, but really it is not like we went to high school together or something. Ok bad analogy, I would definitely hate them then. You get the idea though. Oh well fuck me for being me.
** UPDATE: I wrote this the other day when I was feeling really bummed about the whole hand situation. Since then I feel much better. Not because I think the play was right more, but just the contrary. All of the advice in the posts was EXCELLENT and some of it really got me to do what we all need to: THINK. Some people thought their advice might be harsh or perceived as picking on me. I really do not feel that way at all. Advice is AEWSOME. Heap it on!
There are a hundred reasons why the play on that hand was bad. I think the most relevant one was the fact that two huge stacks had yet to act behind me. If both had limped because they had the NUT flush I was going to be losing at least my twenty bucks. I am also coming around to what hands are good pre-flop in NL as opposed to limit. I know I have a little bit of a wild streak in NL. If I am convinced I have the best hand or that my opponent will not stand up to me I have no problem going all in.
Believe it or not, I have curbed this a lot. I used to have a seriously negative BB/100 for 25/NL in Poker Tracker. I am running around 10/BB 100 over 5K hands now a days. I know not enough sample size. Apparently I have a lot more to learn than I thought. I think I need to buy a book specifically about NL cash games. I have read stuff on tourneys but not really a lot on the cash games. Probably because I used to play extremely badly and hated the game, now I only play very badly and like the game. Anyway keep reading as my adventures continue.