I am sorry but even in my depressed stupor I can not let innocent Poker Blog readers fall into an insidious trap laid by a foul blackbird of doom! I have no idea why this harbinger of death would try to ensnare you in her web except for some devious and maliciously evil motivation that people of good will could never hope to understand. So like that Protective Angel of the Poker world Felicia Lee, I feel I must expose this plan before any of you can be trapped.
The plan was hatched in its full wickedness this day of the year 2005. It seemed like such an innocent post but bellied its true evil intend.
I'm looking for a job, and they say you should do something you're good at and enjoy. All this time I've been giving it away for free... It's clear now though that my railbirding services are marketable. Prices are negotiable, and I do have excellent references.
Somehow she also cast a spell and entrapped one of the most outstanding citizens of our community. A successful NL player, who soon shall be headed for the island of Aruba, to show all the power of the Poker Bloggers. His confused words did say the following:
I highly recommend April! She was on the rail when Otis and I got 2nd and 3rd respectively in an Empire tournament and then again during the link in the post.
I'd recommend contacting her before your next big tournament attempt. Hopefully her fees stay reasonable, so get in now.
However you can tell some spell of befuddlement was cast upon his innocent mind, for in his own words, of not a days past he did speak the truth:
I thought April jinxed me when she congratulated me on the final table appearance.
Indeed his words do speak volumes of the power of this evil crow who’s rail birding can be equivocated with the Raven in Edger Allen Poe’s works. A bringer of dreaded doom! DoubleAs had to use every skill he had to avoid the pitfalls she brought instead of cruising easily to victory! How she ever convinced him otherwise is beyond me. I believe at best they do not see through her veil of sweetness and helpfulness, or at worse they have been bought off or possessed by this demon!
As for her other references, I have seen instances of pure destruction brought on by her rail birding. For instance when Poker Geek was well chipped and in position to take first place in a large tourney and her shadow did touch his mind and cloud his judgment so that he though 97o was AA and played it to his doom!
I can speak from my own experience also. Whenever she shows up to one of my tourneys I am usually well chipped and half the field is gone. I am ready to take over the tournament. However she appears and I get busted out by 100th place at best, or if she is feeling really evil I will make it to just out of the money before her curse takes effect.
So my friends, before you use her services, take heed and run as far away as possible. Turn off your chat and ignore her invitation to Yahoo!, for if you do not you too may find yourself the victim of her infernal powers.