A Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Sir was moving, not as quiet as a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
As I looked at the Game Table with Fear and Despair!;

Yes. Yes. Another thing I cannot do well. Handyman stuff. I know. You think you all would be used to me being a fucktard. So around 12AM when the kiddies finally go to bed I start tackling the 12-1 Super Duper all Inclusive Game set. It has Foosball! It has Billiards! It has Air Hocker! It rocks! Table Tennis too! Here I am with my tool set trying to figure out which end of the hammer to use. Thanks to Pauly for the word Fucktard BTW. It is so economical and elegant that I have fallen in love with it. Instead of saying “What are you a fucking retard!” you can get it all in with one word. Sweet!

When out of the basement there arose such a clatter..

"Oh , Fuck it! now, CRAP! now, Shit and Ass Wipe!
On, Dammit! on Jesus! on, Fucktard and Screw it!

Yeah, about 3AM this was the only roar that was going on. I finally got the stupid thing together. I was looking at it and it was perfect. Now the next day when we went to play with it was another story. I still have not had time to take that damn foosball box apart again! Who knew there was not supposed to be 12 yellow guys on one side! I swear it looked good at three. At least I got to blame Santa for it!

Anyway.. pleased with my accomplishments and getting ready to tackle the Football set I deicide to hop on Empire and give myself a little gift. So can you guess who the only other degenerates playing at 3AM on Christmas were? Give a big hand to: Studio Glyphic and Chief Tokem! Woot! I enjoyed seeing the boys and we soon were all on the same table. I went on a nice card rush of sorts. I played tight. Every hand I went in on I won however. The flops just kept hitting me in the face. I played for ½ hour and made $50+ profit and decided to get back to the Basketball hoop. I had one table where I had “too much” respect, however, it worked well for me. I had QQ and the flop is Axx. I bet it out. Everyone folds. I “think” I might have made A2 fold. Not sure. The Big Chief took a few bucks out of my pocket when he bluffed me out of second pair, and 3rd pair won the pot! I was going to kick his ass when he turned over 94o for the 9 high, and a pair of sevens won the pot! I gave him a tip: When you bluff like that and fail, and it looks like someone is going to see it to the end, fold the river. It totally messes with your table image. Unless you wanted everyone to think you were bluffing and then tighten up and smack them around. Hope it worked!

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

Ok. So I never got the Football set finished. The thing was a pain in the ass! It has all of the lock nuts and my arm was already numb from the Foosball table. I got through most of it and will finish it later. I am at work BTW. We had our whole database rack go down on Friday, so I had to come in and finish rebooting a couple of systems. I might end up having to be in tomorrow too. We shall see. At least I am going to bill a whole day for pulling me out of bed! Next week I start my professional poker career. No I have not quit my job. I have next week off un-paid because my employer shuts down for the last week of the year. So I am either going to be cranking on Elance work or playing poker for the whole week. I have two jobs that might come in from Elance but besides that I am living off my poker money. Actually I will probably only take 1/4th out like I said. I will have to eat the other four days. The downside of consulting. Of course if I go on a massive card run and make 6K next week then I will be in good shape!

Since I am rambling so much one thing that Pauly said recently: “I stopped playing the 2/4 at Foxwood’s because the variance was too high”. It really hit me. Yeah. That makes sense. It is why I am having trouble getting on a run again. When EVERYONE calls EVERYTHING to the river you HAVE to be the best hand to win. If 3-4 people are in the chances of your hand staying the best diminish unless you have the stone cold NUTS. Your straights and flushes and boats will tend to stand up but your TPTK will tend to get beaten. What hand do you have the most? TPTK! It is your bread and butter winner. So I guess I will have to get used to variance. I skipped it on my first ascent. It is probably good I am becoming resigned to it this time. It is almost like you have to give up to win. Once Poker sucks the soul out of you and your ok with losing (as long as you play correctly) then you can become the winner you want to be. Wow that was profound or something. Anyway.. have fun! I will see you tonight! You know I want that Christmas money!